LA VIRGEN DE TALPA (THE VIRGIN OF TALPA)

Can you believe it!  I went on a pilgrimage to the Virgin of Talpa?  Now, the Virgin of Guadalupe is well known, being the Patron Saint of Mexico, but who the Hell was the Virgin of Talpa?  I tried to look her up and found there are three "Virgins" just in the state of Jalisco.  You know by now that I think all of this is just hokum, but when I thought about it, it made sense.  Half of the teenage girls in Mexico are pregnant, so I guess there is a reason to worship so many virgins.  All religions are just nuts to me, not to mention the cause of most of the wars and mass murders of the world.  Now we have the radical Islamic's slaughtering innocents in the name of God.  A thousand years ago it was the Christians who slaughtered anyone who did not believe in Christ.  Look what the Catholic Church did to the indigenous  people of Mexico.  More recently Hitler tried murdering all the Jews.   How could a benevolent God (or any other) demand the murder of so many innocent people?

Maybe Buddhism is the exception.  As far as I know Buddha never called for the mass slaughter of non believers.  A Buddhist friend of mine in Japan told me that Buddhism is not a religion, but a philosophy.  Not really understanding the difference I express a desire to know more.  She gave me a book entitled "Buddhism for Catholics".  I tried.  I managed to get through the sound of one hand clapping.  Then it asked me to conjure up the smell of the color blue.  I gave up.  I could not get it. Maybe it was because I was not really a Christmas anyway.

My favorite bartender told me one night that he had to make his annual pilgrimage to The Virgin of Talpa.  He explained that when his baby boy was so sick, he prayed to her and promised to go to Talpa once a year and bring her flowers if he recovered.  He asked if I wanted to go with them.  My first reaction was that it would be sacrilegious for me to go, but then I thought "What the Hell do I care?" I  have wanted to visit some of the small towns around here, and he said we would stop in Mascota for breakfast.  I have heard what a beautiful colonial town Mascota was, so I decided to go.  Then I thought about riding in the back seat for two hours with a five year old.

While I was waiting outside my apartment for Filipe to pick me up, I was joined with two more Mexican friends.  That would make five adults and one child in the car.  I opted for the front passenger seat.  I will say that Ian was a very well behaved five year old.  He appeared to be a little intimidated or maybe afraid of me.  Maybe because I was a gringo or maybe I was the oldest person he had ever met.  In any case, I decided it was in my best interest allow him to continue with that thought.  It was a long arduous trip anyway.  We made a stop on the way to Mascota at a rest stop just before crossing a huge spanned bridge.  If it looks like a real highway, it is not!  It is a narrow two lane roads that winds up and down the mountains.  The rest stop sold drinks, snacks and had bath rooms.  But no water!  I realized that the toilet did not flush, but did not discover the water problem until I had lathered my hands with liquid soap.  There were no towels either. So I had to go all the way to Mascota with soap drying on hands.  Where is Lily Pons when you need her? After two hours we arrived at Mascota.

It is a very charming little town as I had been told.  Judging from the downtown buildings, I would judge that it was a more once a very prosperous town.  The building are more stately and elegant than anything in old Vallarta.  I think it is also older.  Most buildings have very tall windows and doors with a cornice on top.  It is also much cleaner with trash barrels everywhere (no garbage on the corners like Vallarta).  There were many beautiful restaurants with lots of potted flowers.  But we did not eat at one of them.  Instead we ate at a small Mexican restaurant in the market.  After looking at the menu, I decided a club sandwich would be the safest to order.  It was delicious and huge.  It not only had the usual ingredients, but had shredded lettuce, cumbers and peppers.  Your local country club would never recognize it.  We toured the city and the ruins of an old church that looked much like what remains of the Mission of San Juan Capistrano.

After another hour we arrived above Talpa.  There is a look out tower which overlooks the valley.  I managed the hundred or so steps to the top.  Talpa looked more like old Vallarta, but cleaner.  We first visited the Church to the Virgin.  The story I was told was that in the early 1800's a poor Indian (recently converted to Catholicisms).  Found a small statue of the Virgin Mary either in or near a river (not really clear which).  He took her back to his home in Mascota, that night she went back to Talpa.  He brought her back several times, but each time she managed to return to Talpa.  He told his friends about it and they said it was just a doll and he was crazy (WELL ??)  But somehow he managed to convince The Church and it was declared a miracle and he was made a saint.  (Do not ask what I think about this).  All the way from Mascota to Talpa there is a sidewalk beside the road with stone replicas of the virgin where people make the pilgrimage, some on their knees.   I was told that behind the church was a museum that would explain the entire legend to me.  But it was closed.

The original doll (or Virgin) is the small gold statue at the top of the altar.  The church is quite beautiful, but I could not get a good close of of The Virgin,  I took a picture of one of the many replicas that are sold in shops surrounding the square.  I watched my friend and his family approach the altar, praying and offering the flowers.  I was happy they did not made the trek on their knees as many do, but was impressed with their pious prayers.  For a brief moment I wondered if I would be better off if I did believe in something, but I do not.  When I learn more about the other Virgins of Jalisco, you will be the first to know.

PRIMAVERA EN VALLARTA

Those of you in the Frozen North probably think we do not have seasons down here.  This is not true, of course we have no snow. The summer is hot, rainy, and humid. Autumn is well, about the same, but not so much.  Winter brings cooler weather with cool breezes off the water or cold breezes off the mountains. It can get below 60F at night.  (I know that is a warm summer day to you), but it is down right cold to us.  Then spring bursts forth in a riot of colored flowers and trees.  The primavera tree (named for Spring) is the first to blossom out in bright yellow blooms.  The Amapas tree is a cousin with leaves and flowers that look exactly the same, except they are pink.  It follows the primavera by about one month. The blossoms only last a few weeks, but they are spectacular. (Sorry all photos of these spectacular trees went with the stolen computer)

On my own patio  the orange thing in a pot is full of blossoms and the bright red crown of thorns is just beautiful.  The bougainvillea will also come into full bloom, but I would rather it did not.  It blooms at least twice a year and the all blow the patio and down the stairs into me kitchen.  We have all kinds of odd blooming vines and trees.   The pink blossom is just one of my three new plants.  My halcyon has just started to put out its drooping red blossom.

Four years ago the city started to underground the electric lines.  Most of the streets in town have new wide sidewalks with lots of planters and trees.  They are laying down fiber optic lines that have reached as close as one block from me.  Of course my street remains the same with the broken sidewalks and pot holes in the cobble stoned street.  The Flower Club has been responsible for almost all the new planting in old town.  They built all the planters along B. Badillo (other wise known as Restaurant Row).  They sold  commemorative tile plates on the planters.  They started with primevera trees and added lots of bougainvilleas.  The City told them the wires would be underground within a few months (this was four years ago.  Nothing is underground)  The flower club also took over the Plaza Cardenas and the new pedestrian mall going down to the new pier.  They also replanted the median leading to the airport. They have done a tremendous job.

I thought that no where is spring more evident than at the Botanical Gardens, so I planned a trip there with a friend visiting from Canada who had never seen the gardens..  It had been a year since I visited there and at the time the Orchid pavilion had now yet been finished.  After ,my last trip there when I was eaten up my mosquitoes, I covered each of us with repellents and then sprayed our clothing.  Not one bite, but also not so many plants in bloom.  The Orchid pavilion was disappointing.  Then I thought of my friends from Marbella Spain and their gorgeous garden.  One morning a took a cab to their home in Los Gaviotos)  and tried my best to capture the garden.  But, alas, I am not a good photographer.  But here is what I got.  The garden is on two large lots separated by a high wall with an iron gate.  The back of the front door duplicates this view.  They keep three gardens the year round, even though they are only here during the winter.  Recently I had dinner there (20 people at a sit down dinner in the garden)  Life is lovely here for the rich.  Now of course, we must soon face summer but Vallarta will still be in bloom somewhere.

PERILS OF LIVING IN A POOR COUNTRY

Mexico is a very poor country.  The shame of it is that Mexico is very rich in natural resources and blessed with a very hard working population.  Somewhere I read that Mexicans work longer hours per week, than any other civilized country. But the politicians are all very corrupt and steal all the money.  Six families own 60% of all the wealth in Mexico.  I have no idea what the "official" rate of unemployment is in Mexico, but the minimum wage is about $4.00 a DAY!  This is what most of the laborers, bartenders and waiters make here.  Of course the bartenders and waiters also make tips.  So even the employed hardly have enough money to feed their families.

Puerto Vallarta is one of the most expensive cities in Mexico to live in.  Few Mexicans can afford it, so they live in outlying areas. Huge villages spring up around the city dumps.  These people live in cardboard and tin shacks and depend on what they can pull out of the dump to either sell or eat.  In the midst of all this poverty, you drop in a few million gringos who pay over $100 a night for a hotel room, or $1,000 or more for a tiny apartment.  There has been a lot of talk in the political debates in the U.S. about the discrepancy between the rich and the poor in the U,S,  When Mexicans hear this, it sounds like a joke to them.  I truly believe that 90 to 95% of the people here are honest and hard working, but a fraction on the population can wreck a lot of havoc.  In view of the above, no one should be surprised to hear that there are robberies here.  Even in a popular tourist destination like Varrata, there are few jobs.  Ninety percent never go to high school.  Education is free here,  If you are bright and want to become a lawyer or a doctor, the government will pay for your education.  It isn't that they do not appreciate the value of education,  For most of them by the time they are 14 or 15, they must work to help support their families.  Therefore most of the work force are unskilled laborers, which is why labor is so cheap here.

Somehow, for over five years here, I felt perfectly safe.  I had never been robbed, never been accosted or threatened on the streets.  Call me naive and stupid,  HELL I call myself that all the time is this blog.  For over three years I have lived in my present apartment.  I am the only gringo within several blocks, but I know all the Mexicans who live and work here.  I also believe that I am well liked so I always thought they would watch out for me.  In a previous posting I told you about leaving my door open on the street while waiting for the Ciel Water man.  But I laid down and fell asleep.  Talk about STUPID!  It really shook me up to find that money and my camera had been stolen.  I no longer leave that door open when waiting for someone to arrive, so I was beginning to feel safe again.  One Sunday I took off for the beach carrying a beach towel and beach bag.  To anyone watching, it was obvious that I would not be returning soon.  I will never know for sure, if my first robber was the Ciel guy, or a professional burglar who seeing the open door took advantage of it.  He would have seen the computer and TV, but with my sleeping in the next room, probable did not think that he could disconnect them without waking me up.  So, he decided to come back at a later date.  I have been told that they watch you.  There are always guys standing by the tienda, or sitting on the curb drinking.

The first thing I noticed when I arrive home was dirt.  It was on the window sill above the sink, in the sink and on the floor.  I thought some kid must have thrown a dirt clod through the window.  I made a note to speak to Saul about it as his kids play in the yard behind me.  Next I saw paper flowers strewn across the bedroom floor.  I used them under my desk in an attempt to conceal all the wires.  Then I saw that the computer was also gone.  Later I discovered that $300 US dollars were missing from my wallet.   I do not carry that wallet in Mexico but keep it on top of a chest in my closet.  A few days later I was at Frida's talking to a friend of mine.  He was sorry to hear of my loss and said it has happened to him as well.  He has lived here twice as long as I have.  When I told him how odd it was that they removed the bills and then put the wallet back.  He said,"That is what they do"  He went on to say that they are not evil, just desperate.  They think that no gringo would really miss a few hundred, but know that taking the wallet with identification and credit cards would cause us no end of grief.  I was leaving for The States in a few weeks and my passport was also there.  Had they taken it, I could not have left the country.

Why not the credit cards?  In Mexico you cannot charge more than 100 pesos without identification, certainly not a Mexican with a U.S. credit card.  They also left the TV, but not as any act of kindness. When I lock the door, you cannot open it even from the inside without a key, so he had to take every thing back out through the window.  Elvis told me the day I moved in here that the window was a problem.  It was the only window without protective iron bars.  Since it was two stories above the ground I was not concerned,   The thief scaled a ten foot brink wall, inched across a steel beam and then somehow spanned the five feet distance between the bean and the window. .This robbery really shook me up.  When would they come back?  Also I was leaving in a few weeks for California.  I could not leave that window unprotected.  I called Saul and told him I wanted bars added to that window. He asked, "When" and I said, "Now"  He brought the iron guy over and I explained what I needed and wanted it done before I left.  He told me that he would be back in 5 or 6 hours.  Sure enough he showed up with an iron frame and a welding machine.  I had just asked for plain bars, but instead he made it with the same wavy lines that are on all the other windows in the house.  He charged 980 pesos (less than $60.00)!  Can you imagine having such a thing hand wrought, painted and installed in 6 hours for so little.  But that shows that even the skilled workers with their own shops earn very little (I gave him a heavy tip)

With the doors and windows locked the only way into my place would be to break the lock on the front door.  The door is metal and it is a double lock, so unlikely.  Still you are left with an uneasy feeling.  Later someone asked me what if they produced a gun.  They don't have guns.  Being caught with a fire arm will result in heavy jail sentences.  Oh Yes, the drug cartel has plenty of machine guns and grenades, but not your average crook.  Unlike the U.S. where there are more guns than people.

When I returned everything was still here.  I had given Filipe some money just to water my plants while I was gone.  He also came back to turn lights on and off so it looked as it someone was here.  He had also sent his wife over the clean the whole place.  Yes, there are thieves among us, but the general population is really nice.

MARDI GRAS EN PUERTO VALLARTA

They say that Mexico is 98% Catholic.  Well maybe, but I only know one Mexican who regularly attends mass.  They will tell you that they are Catholic, but most only visit a church for a christening, marriage, or a funeral.  But that does not mean that they shun all the holidays.  Mexicans love any excuse to party and get drunk.  Now Christmas is mostly spent at home with families, but the first twelve days of December celibrate The Virgin of Guadalupe with parades and parties.  Easter is the  biggest holiday going on for two weeks.  Santa Semana is the week before Easter when Mexicans flood into the coastal towns for a week of beach, drinking and partying.  The following week is when the wealthy Mexicans come to Vallarta.  No, I have no idea why.  My personal favorite is The Festival of Santa Cruz.  It is supposed to be 10 days but often lasts longer.  My street is closed to traffic and a carnival is set up with kiddy rides and booths.  There are candle light vigils,  Indians in colorful costumes dancing in the street.  Now, what the Indian dances have to do with the Holy Cross no one has explained to me.  It ends with a four story fire cracker.

Mardi Gras is a Catholic celebration although I do not know what the Vatican's official stance is on all the revelry.  In Vallarta it is mostly a gay event, almost like Gay Pride week.  It is certainly not Rio or New Oleans, but it is a very fun celebration. The parade is of made up  of floats of balloons on trucks, or crepe paper on cars consists mainly of half nude men and drag queens.  I can only imagine what the Vatican would think, if they saw Puerto Vallarta on Mardi Gras.  Our previous mayor also had a dim view of the festivities and decided he wanted it to be a "family friendly" event.  "Family friendly Mardi Gras ?  Really !!  He discouraged the gay participation and moved the parade strictly to the Malecon.  It was a disaster! This was the same corrupt  mayor who completely emptied the city treasury before leaving office.  Our current mayor took office with no money to pay anything.  The trash collector threatened to stop picking up the garbage on the street, so the mayor fired 75% of the police department in order to have money for the trash collection.  A smart move in my opinion.  The police are so corrupt, they do little to enforce the law anyway.  You may think this is an awful situation, but personally I like living in a country where you can buy your way out of almost any problem.

The parade route for Mardi Gras has never been closed to all other traffic and this year with almost no police, it was even more hectic.  People just trying to get home or to dinner get caught up in the parade.  For the most part they are good natured about it, and roll down their windows and wave to the crowd.  It starts at the Sheraton Hotel downtown winding it was across the river and ends on Olas Altos.  This year they said Thirty Thousands spectators lined the streets and sidewalks for the couple miles of the parade route.  It lasts for about 30 to 45 minutes.

Jennifer was to finish the make up for one of the bartenders who was on the Frida float (really just an open jeep with balloons).  I took a picture of it from the balcony before it left.  I met her upstairs at Fridas  There isn't a downstairs anymore.  The night before the ceiling collapsed.  The bar has been in decline for years.  I only go there to see my friend Filipe.  It happened at one in the morning, so there weren't that many people in the bar. Most were seated at tables (probably no longer able to stand).  One  poor sole was at the bar when the fan fell on the bar.  He interned on crutches and left in an ambulance.  I was told it was his first night in Vallarta and while certainly memorable, I doubt he will return.  No one else was hurt that badly, just some cuts and bruises from the falling plaster.  When Filipe saw the fan fall on the bar he went out from behind the bar to shut off the electricity just when the ceiling came down.  Always a little excitement here.  Two days later The City closed it down and condemned the whole building until repairs were made.  My poor friend Filipe is now out of a job,

We then went down to a new bar that opened on a corner with a good view of the parade route.  There must have been over 100 people packed into a bar smaller than my living room.  Most spilled out onto the side walk.  There are no laws against drinking anywhere, but you could not take glass outside the bar.  I still have trouble with night photos, but managed to get in between some people to get a few shots.  Each year it gets bigger and better and attracts more and more people.  Once it was over I left Jennifer there and headed home.  By this time she was dancing in the street and she later told me that from there, they went up to La Noche's roof top garden and then back to Fridas.  I would have passed out by then. From my recent blogs you must think that we have a party every week. Sadly sometimes it seems so to me too.

                                         **************************************

AOL.COM UGH ! (NO TRANSLATION)

When living in a foreign country, the internet is essential.  You need it to handle finances, pay bills, make travel reservations, and mostly for communication.  Yes, I do have a Magic Jack phone line, when the internet is working.  I have already told you of all the problems with dealing with Telecable.  To further the chaos, there is AOL.COM.  For forty or fifty years, I have used AOL for my email account.  Every morning, I check it and usually one or more times a day.  For all these years, all I had to do was click on "Mail" and there were my messages (as long as I was using my own computer) Since I have friends around the globe, that is the only way I can keep in touch with people.  The postal system here is so bad that even the Government Utility companies won't use it.  They send their employees to each house to deliver the bill every other month.  A friend in The States once sent me a Christmas card, and I did get it.  IN MARCH!!   Although I do have a Mexican phone, most  of my "snow bird" friends to not, so they use email to communicate while they are in Mexico.

For the past many months, when I try to log on AOL they want me to sign up again.  First they ask for my user name.  Once I type that in the "password" automatically pops up.  But when I click "sign in", it rejects the password.  I did not type it in, AOL put it up.  How could it be wrong?  So you click on "forgot password", but the problems just starts there.  They want to send me a new password to my cell phone or an alternate email account.  Well, of course they cannot send it to the only email account I have because it won't open.  But I do not have an alternate email account, nor do I have a cell phone in the United States.  It will not accept my Magic Jack number because it does not take text messages.  I have tried my Mexican cell phone, but it has too many digits, so I am stuck.  Nothing to do but to click on "Help".  They take you through of series of possible problems, none of which is any help to me, while they also try to sell you new programs.

You have to page through reams of stuff before they finally offer a phone for "custom service"  What a misnomer that is!  I have files for everything  including one for AOL where I had written down a telephone number for them, but of course it was disconnected.  I have also written down all the different passwords they have made me come up with, but none are any good.  So I call the new number and wait, and wait and wait.  Finally someone for whom English is obviously not their native tongue (I think India or maybe Pakistan)   Of course I was not in a good mood having been trying to get to my mail for nearly an hour.  Apparently she did not like my tone of voice because she hung up on me.  (Or maybe it was when I apologized for not speaking Farsi)


The next time  I try to be a little more civil.  After explaining my problem with no alternate email or an American cell phone, she gives me a temporary password.  It is all caps, but my user name is lower case.  So it takes me a few attempts to get it right.  Then it wants a new password (typed twice, why I do not know)  I type in my usual password and they say they cannot accept it as they already have it on record.  Well then Why in the Hell did it not work??  So I come up with a variation of the number which I immediately wrote on my AOL file.  Once it opened I asked her again why this is necessary every few months.  She said it was for my own security.  Security for what?  I am not accessing my bank accounts or credit cards.  It is just stupid email (most of it spam).  It is not as if I carry secret classified documents on it.  Then she said that I must have a "bug" and for $4.99 a month they can fix that. AHA!!  Now I know why they are doing this.  They want to start charging me for what is supposed to be a free account.  Who ever said, "follow the money" knew what they were talking about.  I think it was Deep Throat (no not Linda Lovelace)

So, for the time being I have email again and can get and receive messages.  Of course this very blog was set up over 5 years ago as a way of letting my friends around the globe follow my life in Mexico with my having to write each one of them (another example of my laziness).  But I now have more readers than I have friends (dead of alive).   My blog server has a stat mode they tells me how many readers I have per day and per month. This month it shows 330 readers (more people than friends than I have had in my life. .  A map of the world lights up from light green to dark green depending how many readers I have in that country.  According to the map, I have more readers in Alaska, Russia and China than any country except The U.S.  Who are you?  Not to dismiss my Alaskan readers, but I am most interested in China and Russia.  One would think I would be banned in those countries.  Or, maybe Putin and Xi Jinping actually encourage readers to my blog as an example of the decadence of us Capitalist Pigs!   I would love to hear from you.  A few of my friends send me comments, but not many.  Don't be afraid to expose your email account.  You know I do not sell anything on my blog and I promise not to barrage you with stupid email jokes (too lazy for that).
With that in mind ......

Hasta Lluego!

lagunalary@aol.com

LA FIESTA PASADO (THE LAST COCKTAIL PARTY )

Technically it was my last party, but it may also have been The Last Party.  They are an enormous amount of work  (for someone as lazy as I am) and cost me too much money (even in Mexico)  I began a month ahead of time getting the house together.  You have already read about my touch up painting and new planting.  I did some deep cleaning, like under cabinets and under chests and had also taken everything out of the cabinet in the dining room and cleaned everything in it.  The real cleaning cannot be done until just a few days before due to the constant black dust that blows in my windows from the dirt and cobble stone streets and the exhaust from all the cars and trucks..

Then just to complicate matter (you know how I love to do that to myself)  I slipped and fell.  I had  been making my tuna salad (a mainstay of my diet).  Since I put in four chopped eggs, it is more like egg salad with tuna.  Anyway all along I had been washing dishes and must have spilled some water on the floor.  I had gone to the refrigerator to get a jar of mayonnaise and mustard, then I slipped with a jar in each hand.  Unwilling to drop anything I tried to break my fall with my elbow on the edge of the tile counter.  My elbow is scrapped and sore, but the real damage was to my shoulder which took all the weight of my body. (Of course I had been drinking.  It was after 6:00 at night)  The real pain started the next day.  I could barely move my right arm.  No way I could carry anything heavy let alone sweep and mop my floors.

It was also a Sunday.  Four years ago I learned about going to one of the local clinics instead of a regular doctor.  I think they are partially Government supported and are mostly set up for poor people (Well!!)   Oddly enough no one was in the waiting room so I had just a short wait to see the doctor.  I explained what had happened and hoped to get a shot of cortisone.  She took some readings of blood pressure and pulse, then moved my arm about.  Convinced nothing was really broken she gave me a shot (with two more to follow in two days)  She also gave me some salve to rub on it and some pain killers.  The doctor visit, the shots, and the medication cost 175 pesos (about $10.00 at today's exchange rate)   Can you imagine what the cost would have been had I walked into an emergency room in The States?  Probably over $1,000.00.  Of course my insurance company in The States would have happily paid the $1,000, but not a dime for my medical treatments in Mexico.  It makes no sense to me.  Sometimes I think that American logic is more stupid that Mexican logic (and they don't have any logic).  But this is fodder for another posting.  When I went back for my last shot, I stopped on my way to meet a friend for lunch at River Cafe.  I thought I had plenty of time, but after I paid my 20 pesos and went into the waiting room, I found five people ahead of me.  I stuck around for a while then went back to the counter and explained that I had another appointment and I would like to turn in my ticket and return a few hours later.  She said something I did not understand, but I got the impression she wanted me to wait.  Then she took me in another room and gave me the shot.  Was it because I was a gringo, or because she knew I did not need a consultation with the doctor.  They are wonderful.

Next came shopping.  I need 3 bottles of Vodka, 3 bottles of Tequila, 3 bottles of Scotch (less one for my own consumption), 2 bottles of Gin, 3 cases of beer, 2 cases of wine (one red and one white) and various mixes.  We drink a lot down here.  Then 2 platters of Mexican finger food, 4 small thin crust pizzas, meat and cheese rolls, nuts, dip, and of course guacamole supplied by my friend Hector who makes the best guacamole )n Mexico.  I type up 4 invitations on a sheet of paper, so each year I just have to make a few changes (like dates).  Unfortunately I made one more and in so doing erased my address on two of them.  This I discovered only after having my coffee lady decorate the invitation.  She is a great artist and I am having it framed.

Two nights before the party, dark clouds approached and it started to sprinkle.  OH NO!  It cannot rain on my party.  There is no way my apartment will accommodate over 50 people without the use of my huge  terrace.  The tile stairs going up to it are very slippery.  With wet soles, it becomes lethal.  Luckily the sun came out the following day.  Then the night before the party around 11:00 at night I heard this terrible racket.  I looked out to discover a backhoe digging up the street in front of my house.  Will I have water or a sewer tomorrow?  Having over 50 people here with one bathroom is a problem.  If the toilet does not flush it goes to a whole other dimension.  It went on past midnight, but the following moring I learned they were just connecting the water and sewer lines to the old hacienda being renovated across the street.  Why they decided to do this at midnight for a building that will not be open for at least another month?  Well, you would have to ask them.

It was a beautiful evening with a cool breeze and clear sky with lots of stars.  It must be mating season for bats as I have had swarms of them in the huge mango trees behind my house.  Just a little more excitement for an evening that didn't really need any more.  People told me it was The Best Party Ever (not just my best, but The Best).  I have a very eclectic guest list.  The age range was from 22 to almost 80 (that would be me, of course)  There were a couple of doctors, university professors, a world renown ex belly dancer, several multimillionaires, and a hooker.  (Anyone remember the party scene from Breakfast at Tiffnays ?) My two bar tenders did a great job.  I couldn't get every out until almost 11:00.  I was exhausted, but the guys had washed all the glasses and dishes so the next morning all I had to do was to mop the floors and put stuff back together again.  I am still beat.  Will I do another one?  Who knows?   But no robber arrived.

UN DIA MUY MALO (A VERY BAD DAY)

This will be one of those posting where my friend will say, "Anyone reading your blog will never visit Mexico"  So let me start by saying that in over five years here, nothing like this has ever happened to me before.  Yes, I do know other people who were robbed, but I always suspected that it might have been someone that had (at some point) been invited into their home.  One friend of mine was even murdered.  He had told me of three robberies,(Three?) before he told me that his car was stolen.  How did they get his keys?  I also knew from a scuffle one night at Apaches that he knew some pretty rough people.  A few weeks after he told me of his car being stolen, he disappeared!  He was very well known and very well liked in Vallarta.  He was head of the Writers Club.  It was less than a week later that a Mexican "acquaintance" of his had been stopped driving his car.. A search of the guys home turned up several items taken from Collin's home.  (they do not bother with search warrants here) After some interrogation (No, I do not know if torture is involved), the guy showed them where the body was.  At first the guy was released as the police said, "they had no real proof that the guy murdered Collin".   The public outcry was so loud that the Mexican was rearrested.  Beyond that I do not know what happened to him

Now to my day.  In another blog you have already heard about my problem with Ciel Water Co.  The drivers either are transferred or quit every few weeks, so you never get the same guy again.  The previous time I had called my last driver and he did politely tell me that he no longer worked for Ciel and to call the company.  I did, and again, and again the following day.  As it happened I was on the balcony and spotted the Ciel truck in front of my place.  I yelled down at them.  They gave a confused look so I ran down stairs.  They were delivering next door, so I told them I wanted two bottles.  He asked (in English) had I called the office.  (Yes,  three times!!)  Anyway he gave me his name and telephone number so the next time when I needed more water I called him.  He said he would be there in five minutes (I knew that was not happening)  After four hours, I had errands to run, so I told the taco people next door to watch for Ciel and tell them to return in one hour.  First I went to pay my rent, then stopped at Guadalajara Pharmacy (the only grocery store this side of the river). because the day before they were out of bread and eggs.  They were still out, Next I went by the clinic to get a shot for a cold/flu that would not go away.  There were six people waiting so I left and went to the framer who was framing the art work done for my invitations.  It had been over a week and I hoped it was ready.  There was a sign in the window stating that would be closed from Dec. 31st to Jan. 3rd (it was the 4th).  So I went home and the taco people told me that Ciel had shown up and would return.

I opened both the doors on the street to make it easier for him to carry in the large bottles.  When he did not show up I decided to lie down and read a little.  Of course I fell asleep.  A noise woke me, so I jumped up and ran into the living room.  The Ciel guy was at the bottom of the stair case.  I told him to bring up two bottles.  When he did I turned to give him the money I had laid out and it was gone! I left money for the water and had also left the money I had for the framer.  Both were gone!  Still a little groggy and confused from having just been waken, I merely went to a draw where I knew I had a stack of 50 peso notes.  Then I dug into my change jar to make sure he got a tip.  After he left I continued to look around for the money.  Then I thought about my money clip.  It was gone with another 1,000 pesos.  Now I cannot believe I was stupid enough to leave it on the dinning table.  I had changed from my cargo shorts to more comfortable sleeping shorts.  My phone and the rest of the stuff in my pockets was on the dresser in my bedroom.  I had been lying on the bed in the guest bedroom which had a clear view across the dinning table to the staircase.  The photo through the door frame shows what I would have seen had my eyes been open.

Anyone seeing the open door and climbing the stairs would also have seen me lying on the bed. Would a total stranger risk that?  Who would guess that money was  right next to the staircase on the dining table?  Of course there is a new door mat that says "Bienvenido" in gold letters at the entrance.  Oh Wait!! This was not my first robbery.  A week prior having mopped the staircase, I left my old door mat out side until the stairs dried.  When I went down stairs, it was gone.  My best guess is that the Ciel guy walked up the stairs before announcing himself, saw the money, took it and then went back down the stairs .  Of course I have no proof and I am still at a loss to explain the missing money clip.  Before I had left the house I had set aside the money for the water and for the frame, so there was no need for me to get into the money in my clip.  We will never know.  Now in real money the total of all three piles totals less than $70.00. (I think the money clip cost me more than that)

The next morning I realized that my camera was also gone.  Now we are talking about some real money.  But more than the money, the memory chip had photos going back to my aunt's 100th birthday as well of my most favorite shots.. It was then that I realized some of the invitations to my party were also missing.  Had he taken some planning on crashing my party to steal more stuff?  During my patty I always have both doors open so I do not have to run up and down the stairs for each guest arrival.  As I told you before I never know all of the people who show up, but this year I will stand guard at the top of the stairs and question any Mexican stranger that walks up. I am still really bummed out.  It isn't just the loss of the money, or the camera, or photos;  you feel violated and vulnerable.  Of course I will be much more careful about the door, but what do I do when I need new water?  The alternative to calling Ciel is to stop the guy who drives around in a pick up with bottled water and shouting, "Agua, Agua"  But the bottles are old and scarred and not sealed.  Where does the water come from?   But the more I think about it, I believe it was a professional thief because who ever it was they had to pass right by me to get into the bedroom.

Yes, I know.  I can almost hear the "Tsk, tsk, tsk" all the way down here.  What do you want me to say?  I have already told you that I am stupid (and too trusting).  Who in their right mind would leave doors open on the street while taking a nap?  Not even the U.S. let alone Mexico where a third of the population is unemployed or under paid.  The minimum wage here is 68 pesos a day (Not an hour!)  That is a little over $4.00 a day.  So yes I will be more careful in the future and watch who tries to crash my party.  Stay tuned .......


                                              ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++