But in Mexico Christmas is huge. It is almost a month long celebration (translation: fiesta, a time to get drunk and party). It begins with the honoring of The Virgin of Guadeloupe; which last for the first twelve days of December. I covered this myth in a post about two years ago along with an even sillier one on the Virgin of Talpa. (just crazy stuff) Most of the festivities take place around the main church across the river as it is dedicated to The Virgin of Guadeloupe.. But there are parades and processions every where. The main boulevards are closed to cars (sending all the buses down my street). I hate that. All the schools send their troupes out with bugles, trumpets. Then there are the dancing Aztec Indians beating on drums and all the cowboys on horses. At night there will be candle lit pilgrimages to the main church. It is quite colorful and amusing, if a bit noisy. All the churches celebrate lots of mass with not only bells the those F.... Canons. A uniquely Mexican Catholic custom. It is supposed to ward off evil spirits and started with the revolution. I do not know which one as Mexico has at least four. First from Spain then President Juarez took over all the land owned by the Catholic Church, All the churches in Mexico still sit on land owned by the government. Then they had to kick out the French and finally in 1910 there was a revolution to get rid of Diaz (the first totally dictatorial president).
They no longer actually use canons, but send rockets into the sky with deafening percussion. I have gotten used to the bells, but you never get uses to the canons. Mexicans love noise so much that this year there will be two nights of fireworks (the 30th and the 31st) No one knows exactly why. The 30th will be in front of the main church (everyone calls it the cathedral, but it is not as we have no bishop) That one I can easily watch, but the 31st will be by the Sports arena which is further away. But they also do them at the pier which is practically in front of me. Lots of noise and spectacle.
Christmas is just another day for me. When my lover was alive we did decorate the house and planned elaborate dinner parties, but not anymore. I have not celebrated my own birthday for 20 years, why should I celebrate His? According to historians Christ was actually born in the spring when they went to Bethlehem to pay their taxes. But the Catholic Church made it December 25th to coincide with a popular pagan holiday in order to attract more converts. You have to give The Church credit for being clever in selling their religion (if a bit deceitful)
But Jennifer insisted we had to do something together for Christmas (of course this meant that I cook!) I don't really mind as I am a good cook and enjoy her company. But she wanted to do a duck. I had attempted one before and found it a very difficult task and with all the grease splatter the oven has to be completely renovated after. Also I had loaned my oven thermometer to a friend to make his brownies (the ones that satisfy more than your sweet tooth) But we went to Costco to see what we could find (I did not really look that hard for duck) and we settled for a large turkey breast. I did not want to cook and carve a whole turkey. We also bought some turkey gravy and cranberries. (I can make gravy, but without the turkey fat and giblets, it is not the same). I make a wonderful stuffing with nuts and fruit and I also made mashed potatoes and settled on thin French green beans to be sauted in butter. A half pound of butter goes in my stuffing so between that, the potatoes, green beans and basting the turkey breast, I used a pound of butter. (Christmas dinner should never be dietetic.) Jennifer is not fond of salads (even though I make wonderful salads) so I decided on cold cucumber soup.
On the morning of Christmas Eve I was thinking about starting the stuffing when Jennifer sent me a message asking when to show up that night for dinner. Holy Shit! I thought she meant Christmas Day. I had not even defrosted the turkey, but it was only a breast and I had already finished the soup, so I managed to put it together by 6:30. She arrived in red, complete with a Santa hat with reindeer horns and bells. She brought her usual bottle of red wine, a full bottle of Bailey's cream liqueur and a cookie she buys at a local bar. The cookie is similar to Don's brownies, but more lethal. Maybe six months ago she insisted I have one. I ate it before dinner and some how managed to finish the dinner when it hit. My legs were rubber. I had a terrible time just trying to stand, let alone walk. I told her she had to leave as I must go to bed. She said, "You never should have eaten the whole cookie." Now you tell me I thought! For the first time in my life I went to bed leaving all the dirty dishes. I thought I was going to die. And this night she also brought her night gown so I figured she had planned on a long evening.
I had discovered a pretty good Chilean champagne for 172 pesos, It is nice and dry and does not give me a head ache, so we started with that. I had set the table with an old lace table cloth I found at the bottom of my trunk that I had sent down here. I used the few pieces of silver I have left. It was quite festive. While rummaging in the truck for some silver bells I used to have, I found the hand written family tree my great aunt Josie had compiled. It goes back to the 11th century and shows some of my ancestors living to be over 90 in the 1600's. I also found some old photographs (some of my gorgeous aunt on her 100 birthday.) I had brought them up to the deck to share.
The cold soup was in a blender and I thought it best to bring up the blender and pour into the chilled soup bowls at the table. The soup and the champagne were wonderful, but as I got up to start the second course, I hit the champagne bottle. While reaching for it, I knocked over the cream soup. The soup not only went across the lace table cloth, but the old photos and the family tree. Then it poured into one of the pig skin chairs and on to the floor. Jennifer wanted to get paper towels or something, but it was a side of the table we weren't using, so I said "Just leave it" I did not want to interrupt our Christmas dinner. Her Chihuahua, Pili did her best to lick it off the tile. (that dog will eat anything)
Since I did not touch her cookie, I finished all the dishes, glasses, and most of the pots; leaving the spilled soup for the morning. Over night the soup had turned to a sticky glue and it was Hell getting if off the table, table cloth, chair and the floor. Jennifer and Pili got up later. Before walking the dog, she had her coffee cigarette and then put on her make up. The dog had not been out in at least 14 hours. I do not know how she holds it. She is a really good sweet dog, but a bit neurotic at times. Kitty does not like her at all. I spent most of Christmas Day putting the house back in order again. All in all I would have to say it was a lovely Christmas. But once again Santa flew right passed me with dropping off a single present. I guess he is still pissed at my exposing his hoax when I was three or four years old.
Next came New Years Eve. My first year in Mexico I discovered that trying to sleep before 12:30 or 1:00 is futile. I have seen amazing fireworks displays in Paris and New York, but for constant fireworks you cannot top Vallarta. There is a pirate ship in the bay that has a dinner and show and the finale is a burst of fireworks. This goes on every night of the year. Five blocks in front of me on the beach is Los Arcos hotel and resort. Lots of festivities are held there for birthdays anniversary's, and what not. So they also offer fireworks displays. We have one about every week. Of course Mexico has lots of holidays and many require fireworks. As I mentioned even New Years gets two night of it. Next year (or is it this year now) there will be a pyrotechnic symposium with competing displays from countries all over the world.
I decided on a quiet evening at my place to watch the fireworks that go on for 30 minutes or more. Her dog Pili is a nervous wreck with the booms which is one reason we did not want to be out mingling with the thousands on the Malecon. Besides the fireworks itself, kids will be tossing firecrackers and cherry bombs. Many will be in cars screaming and shouting and blowing horns. Mexico is very noisy. I was not in the mood to cook a big dinner, so I decided we would just order a pizza. I had on old ripped shorts and a T shirt that was so old the lettering had vanished. Jennifer arrived in a tight fitting jersey dress, black nylons and boots with heels. She also brought her bottle of red wine, but no Baileys and no cookie. However she did produce a roach and her night gown. I could tell she was not happy with settling for pizza. She wanted to go across the street for a steak dinner. So I changed into something more suitable (I did not want to look like her senile old uncle), The restaurant is our favorite in spite of the horrible management. I had just written a letter to the editor of out local English paper asking any one who knew the real owners, to get rid of him. The letter had not yet been published.
Our shock came as we approached the entry. The place was packed and the girl in a long gold sequin dress asked if we had reservations. Sometimes Jennifer and I are the only customers in the place. I still don't know how they managed to pack the place as I never saw an ad for New Years dinner. Because we know several waiters they gave us a table. They had a menu of the five course dinner they were offering and the table was set with hats and other favors. We did not want five courses and certainly did not want to pay the price for it. We asked for and got a regular menu but we knew what we wanted. They have a filet with a delicious brown sauce, potatoes and crisp sauted vegetables for 235 pesos (about $12.00). Jennifer put on the tiara and insisted I put on the man's hat. I hate hats. They feel uncomfortable on my head and besides my ears stick out to much. I refused but she kept insisting so I picked up the other tiara and put it on. She was happy with that.
Dinner was delicious and we finished early. The customers planning on staying the whole evening had not been served their first course. We went back to my place. I changed into some comfortable old sweats and opened the champagne. Jennifer did not last more than about an hour and went off the bed. I stayed up on the deck enjoying the evening and the view and waited for the fireworks. It was a nice evening, but quite a contrast to the formal black tie dinners I used to give in Laguna Beach. That was a different time and a another life. Frankly I prefer this one.
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Hey Larry - good read! Andy and I will be in Puerto Vallarta next month for my 50th...hope to see you! February 24 to March 3. Kevin
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