NEW LEASE (ON LIFE) IN MEXICO

You may recall that six months ago, I was so desperate to get out of the "Little House of Horrors" that I agreed to pay seven months rent for a six month lease.  If that wasn't stupid enough, I decided to spent a small fortune on the apartment to make it into what I wanted and 'would feel comfortable in'.  I justified it in my own mind because the rent was cheap (less than $400 a month.   I do absolutely love my new place and was optimistic that somehow it would all work out just fine.  I know, someone brighter than I should have reminded me that I am now living in Mexico where almost nothing goes according to plan.

So, after five months I contacted my Realtor and told him I wanted to get going on a new lease.  I felt that since I was the 'perfect' tenant and had not only paid in advance, but I have prepaid almost all the utility bills as well, so they should be happy to have me stay here.  Of course the lawyer for the landlord never returned any of my Realtors calls.  In desperation, I went back to the Sporting Goods Store (also owned by the same family) where I had met the lawyer and signed the first lease.  To my delight there was a very nice guy behind the counter who spoke perfect English.  The lawyer does not speak a word of English (at least he refuses to converse in English)  The guy then informed me that he was the landlord's nephew who would be moving in next door to me.  The apartment has been under construction (off and on) since before I moved in here.

He immediately called the lawyer and explained that I was prepared to pay two months 'up front" plus the one months security deposit, but wanted at least a one year lease.  He said in that case, he would only give me a three month lease.  Finally it was agreed that I would pay six months again, but I would get a one year lease.  At least that is what I think was agreed upon.  I explained that since I can only take so much out of the bank in one day that it would take me three days to get the money together.  He said he would meet me the following Monday morning with the new lease.

I ran right off to the bank to start withdrawing the money.  I was already in the ATM booth when I discovered that I did not have my ATM card with me.  I always carried in inside the copies of all my identification in my back pocket.  Since I had just drawn money out there days before, I was sure it must be some where in my apartment.  It was not!  It was not where I stash extra cash.  It was not in the pants I had been wearing.  It was not in the washing machine or the dryer,  I do not know if the machine did not return the card right away (it beeps loudly when it does) or if some how I dropped it or it fell out of my pocket.
 It was just gone.  First I checked my bank account on the internet and fortunately no transactions had been made since my own withdrawal.

I then called my bank.  Or rather I called the automated phone line bank.  I could not believe how hard it was to report a stolen card.  I understand that on the back of the card there is a number to report stolen cards, but since the card was gone I did not have that number.  (Who writes down such numbers, certainly not I).  So I had to call what is laughingly called "customer service".  Even after I managed to report the lost or stolen card, I still did not get a live person.   After a long pause a voice came on to say that a new card was being mailed to my address.  " BUT I AM NOT IN THE U.S", I screamed.  After a good long time of yelling into the phone I did get a real person.  I explained to her that I was in Mexico and a card sent to my U.S. address would do me no good.  She managed to cancel that request and ordered one sent to my apartment in Mexico.  She had no idea how long it would take, but it would go out FedEx.  I asked for a FedEx number, but she said that she did not have it and to call back the following day.

The following day was a Saturday when I discovered that nothing would be done until Monday.  I finally did get a FedEx number and by tracking it on my computer found that it had been sent and would be delivered on Thursday.  Not soon enough, but what can you do.  On Wednesday morning I found that it had already arrived in Puerto Vallarta, so hoping that it would be delivered that afternoon.   I went to the Sporting Goods Store and told him that I would have the cash (pesos) by Friday and to please arrange for the lawyer to have the lease ready for me.  I did also stop for my morning latte and sure enough when I got back, there was a tag on the door that said the FedEx man had been here ten minutes before I got home.

On the slip of paper they had checked a box that (in Spanish) said to call to arrange another delivery.  You won't believe this unless you have lived in Mexico, but THERE IS NO TELEPHONE NUMBER on the tag.
I called my friend who speaks perfect English and Spanish.  He called somewhere and they told him that it would be delivered to me the following day.  NO time given.

In the meanwhile, I had received several email messages from my Realtor.  I told him that I had arranged in ten minutes what he had not been able to do in a month.  He wanted to be there anyway "for my protection"  I told him that until I get my ATM card, it is all on hold.  When I did speak to the guy at the Sporting Goods Store, I told him that my Realtor wanted to be there and to ask the lawyer about that.  He told me that he was sure that the Realtor would want a commission for the new lease and if so, I would have to pay it in addition to my six months rent.  Since my Realtor had not only not been able to get me a better deal on the first lease, and never gave me a translated copy of the first lease (as promised),  I decided I did not need him.

The next morning, I not only did not leave the apartment, but left the door on the street wide open.  I had yet to cancel bridge with my partner, hoping that it would arrive at about the same time as the previous day.  Again assuming the Mexican FedEx would have a delivery plan.  If all else failed, my friend who spoke to some one at FedEx said that I could claim it between 7:00 and 8:00 at night.  The trucks would return at seven and the office closed at eight.

While I was waiting, my friend who is visiting from Minnesota arrived at my door to see my apartment.  I had him watch the door while I shaved and showered.  He had no sooner left when my Realtor appeared at my door.  I explained to him my problem with FedEx.  He too was surprised that there was no number on the slip, so he called Mexican information.  The only listing they had was a FedEx in Guadalajara.  He called them and they told him that my parcel was at the Puerto Vallarta FedEx office and if it was not picked up by tomorrow, they would send it back to the U.S!

He said he knew where the office was, so the two of us jumped in a taxi and took off.  It is a good thing I had him with me for the taxi driver had no idea where the office was (this is not uncommon with taxi drivers in Mexico).  After an interminable wait at the office, the girl returned from the back room to say that my parcel was on the truck and he would be at my home in 15 minutes.  We hurried back by taxi (taking the last 50 pesos I had to my name) and sure enough in less than 5 minutes the man arrived.  Not in a brown FedEx truck, but in a blue and white "Multipax" truck.  The FedEx office here is listed only under "Multipax"  (who would know?), 

My Realtor then informed me that he had indeed spoken to the lawyer and we would "all" meet at the Sporting Goods store at ten tomorrow morning.  I ran to the bank and drew out my maximum and planned to go back early the next day, but that still left me 2,000 pesos short (assuming I did not have to come up with the extra for commission)  At this point, I figured that out later.  I called my friend here and he agreed to loan me the extra until I could get to the bank on Saturday for another withdrawal.

The lawyer took care of the Realtor by telling him that we did not need him and there would be on commission.  I was early, the lawyer was late.  He had the lease all typed out except he said that it was only for 6 months.  He still does not trust me.  I did get it for the same cheap rent, so I figured, what the Hell.
Of course I still could not read it, but I did look at dates.  The original lease was written one week before I signed it and before I got the key.  Sure enough I am shorted one week again.  But I also noticed that it looked like it expired in three months.  "Oh, so sorry, I make mistake".  I waited for him to rewrite that page, gave him the six months rent, got a receipt.  He then had to take it to the landlady for her signature, so I told him I would be back later,

The final copy was there, all signed by the landlady, lawyer and one witness (God knows who!)  So for the next six months I am safe and I won't owe any rent.  What a relief!   In September he said it would go up 500 pesos (about $40.00).  Not much, but I can fight that another day.  Tonight I get drunk!


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SATURDAY FARMER'S MARKET

Just three years ago, a group got together and decided to open a Farmer's Market in the courtyard of the elementary school.  For years, the Senior Center had their own Farmer's Market on Saturdays further south toward Los Muertos Beach.  Not sure who came up with the idea that the South Side needed two such Saturday Markets, but it was an instant success.

There was a food court inside the school where you could buy all sorts of food, including a nice selection of meats.  In the center was a row of tables where people ate.  Most people bought food to take home.  One block of Pino Suarez by the school was closed down so that stalls could be set up along the sidewalks and in the middle of the street.  Mexicans have no problems closing streets for special events, no matter what the consequences were to traffic.  Since most cross streets are one way, the closure of one block and cause all sorts of havoc, but the Mexicans don't care.

The next year, the stalls began spreading down B. Bidillos.  Now in its third year they no longer use the school courtyard and all stalls have been moved along the wide sidewalks of B. Badillos.  No need to close off a street (maybe someone did complain).  The food court moved to Nacho Daddies (one of the many popular restaurants along "Puerto Vallarta's Restaurant Row"  The stalls now extend for at least four blocks along B. Badillo.

There is everything there.  Lots of hand crafts (glass blowing, basket weaving, jewelery, etc)  That is where my beaded Huichol Indian iguana came from.  You can get a massage or have your fortune read.  My friend Natasha has the most popular bread stand.  The line can be a block long to buy her wonderful homemade breads (She is the one in the yellow T shirt).  Natasha is also the one who began to decorate one wall of the school with a mosaic of bits of tile, glass, mirror, with a few tiles from sponsors.  Some idiot school teacher complained and said that the permit had been "purchased!"  Well, YES!  that is the way things get done here.  It is quite attractive (much better than graffiti) but the school teacher that it was "too gay, and not a good influence on the children"  I have no idea what she was looking at.  The wall stays!

You can buy organic vegetables or all kinds of homemade food, from honey to dips, to cheeses.  There are several stands that sell herbs as well.  The best and freshest flowers can be purchased there, as well as some small plants.  There is always a band playing at one end adding to the festive holiday spirit of it.    It has become a wonderful asset to our little community.  Unfortunately for those of us who live here, it only runs from November through April.

If you  ever visit Puerto Vallarta, the Saturday Farmer's Market is a "must see".

PUNTA DE MITA

My friend Richard told me about his day trips to Punta de Mita at least a year ago.  I was interested in going, but then I heard about the Marieta Islands just off the coast.  Maybe I could have found my own way there by bus, but I was delighted when Richard said he would go there with me.

We caught the first bus a little after 10:00am.  We changed buses near Nayarit.  If you are lucky you may get a bus with cushion seats for the second half.  It is still a harrowing two hour trip.  Some of the seats were broken and it is still a very bumpy ride.  Plus as you go leave Bucerios and head through the hills to Punta de Mita, it is a very winding curing road.  As the driver races down the road you are thrown from one end of the bus to the other.  Punta de Mita is a little finger of land that points out into the Pacific at the north end of our bay.

Finally we arrived at what appeared to be the end of the road.  If there is a real town there, I missed it.  At the bus stop is an OXXO, but as you walk down to the beach, there really are almost no other businesses.  All along the beach are restaurants and hotels.  I was shocked to hear that some of the most expensive property around is located up there.  The Four Seasons and Ritz Hotel are two of the most expensive hotels in Mexico. Along the way, I noticed a lot of gated residential areas.  Richard said that a lot in one of those exclusive areas can cost one milion dollars (U.S.)  Still I was surprised at the cost of food and drinks in this out of the way strip of sand.  Maybe it was just the place were we stopped as they had deck chairs and umbrellas spread out on the sand where you can sit and order food or drink.

At one end of the beach there were some boats.  Most were fishing boats, but it looked like one was a water taxi.  You can just barely make out the islands beyond the boats.  Very few people spoke English (which still amazes me for a resort area that obviously caters  mainly to tourists).  I did find out that you could rent a boat to take you to the islands and back for 1,400 pesos.  That seemed like an enormous about of money, then I found out that the boat held 8 people and the cost depended on how many people got on the boat.  They had no schedule.  The boats left when ever they thought they had enough for a paying fare.

The Marieta Islands are an ecological preserve (Sounds very UN-Mexican doesn't it!)  Therefore there is nothing on the island and you cannot stay on your own there . No fishing or collecting of shells (let alone sea life) are allowed.   The boat trip is about two hours including the trip to and from the island, so you only have a short while to snorkel, or explore the caves along the coast.  My friends wanted to stay on the beach, so I did not make the trip this time.

My friend Elvis fell in love with snorkeling while we were in Cancun, so I decided to come back with him and see the islands at a later date.  I also checked out some of the hotels.  Some are pretty raunchy but I found a really nice one at the other end of the beach.  It is right against a break water that protects a whole bunch of fishing and pleasure cruise boats.  I was fascinated by all the birds and especially the large pelicans.  We wound up spending the entire day there.  I dreaded the two hour bus ride home, which was even worse that the ride over there.  It was 8:00 before I got to my apartment.

It was a pleasant day, very peaceful and quiet.  No boom boxes or d.j's and the hawkers on the beach selling stuff weren't pushy like they are here.  A little Michael Jackson like kid played the drums while his father tooted on a horn.  We even had some jugglers  and a girl doing dances with hula hoops.  I was glad I went, but it will be a long time before I make that two hour bus ride again.  Elvis said the water is too cold right now for scuba diving anyway.

THE NEW PIER

The old wooden pier had been torn down before I arrived.  I noticed that they were adding some new piling shortly after I got here.   The pier was to be finished last year, but like all things Mexican, it takes a little longer (Two and a half years, to be exact).  The design is brilliant.  Coming off of the end of Francisco Rodriguez is a wide curving walk way that ends in a circle (half of which is cantilevered by cables coming off the mast.  In the center is a tall iron mast and sail, resembling a tall ship.

The main reason for building a new pier (other than to put more Mexican to work) is that the old pier was one height and could only accommodate a few vessels.  Beyond the circle are three docks all at different heights to for small, medium and large ships.  It is also a fishing pier, but mainly it is used for walking.  It is located at Los Muertos Beach (which is Puerto Vallarta's most popular beach.

My first shots (during daylight) were taken a few days before the official opening of the pier.  You will notice that all the metal rails are covered with plastic wrap.  I was told that this was to keep it shiny until the inauguration.  Metal pits very quickly in our humid climate.  You can guess what it will look like in a year.  I thought they should paint the railing, but NO!  Still it is very impressive and a definite asset to the town.  I must say that there have been a lot of improvements since I moved here.

The new sidewalks were definitely necessary.  Of course during the two years they were digging up and laying new sidewalks the street  continued to deteriorate.  Pot holes were everywhere (some big enough to lose a Volkswagen in).  The sidewalks were supposed to be done for the underground wiring system.  Of course not a single building has been connected to it (poles, cables and wires still clutter the streets).  I later learned the real reason for the concrete sidewalk.  The mayor's father owned a concrete company.  Guess who got the contract?  (I know you already guessed).  Puerto Vallarta also began a new tunnel a few years ago.  It too is now complete (not sure who got that contract, but I could guess).  It is larger and better lit than the old one.  Once the new tunnel opened  it, they  closed the old one for repairs, but one day we will have a tunnel with two lanes, going in each direction.  You cannot believe the traffic jams that occur when an accident occurs in the tunnel.  You see in Mexico the cars cannot be moved until each party arrives at a financial arrangement.  If no agreement is settled upon, both cars will be impounded (you do not want to be in an accident here).

The best part of the sidewalks are all the planter that were added.  Most have primavera trees (beautiful yellow blossoms early in Spring)  and bougainvillea vines.  Some streets have added palm trees with that yellow vine that is so popular here.  Along with the planters the city has added some trash containers and ash tray.  This pleased me even more than the all the planting.  You will notice that the trees are growing up into the wiring which was to be taken down almost two years ago.   They also planned new ornate street lights, but that is only partially completed.  In some areas, if the street lamps are installed they will have to go up through the newly installed red tile awning.  All awning are exactly the same (one company got the contract for the whole city even though each owner had to pay for them.  Mexico lives on graft and corruption.

My friend Nancy decided to make reservations at a beach front restaurant for opening night of the pier.  Of course no one knew at what time this would take place, but since fireworks were included (they always are) we were pretty sure it would occur after dark.  Her sister and husband were here for a short visit and they invited me to join them.  Since Nancy has lived here for several years, she knew to go back that day and ask about our reservation.  Sure enough, they had no 7:30 or 8:00 reservations and if we were not there by 5:00, but table would be given away.  Nancy called me and I met them shortly after 5:00.

To our surprise and delight, the inauguration had just started.  Various people spoke and they turned the lights on the pier.  It is quite beautiful and various colors float over the entire pier and sail.  Even before sunset the pirate ship arrived full of fire works.  (It is normally at stationed at the Marina and does fire works every night for the cruise ships.)  Before the sun had set the fireworks started.  I can't really get good shots for my camera has a delay and often the display was gone.  I did the best I could.  Everything was over by 7:30 so we were all delighted they did not honor our 8:00 reservation.

I have included some shots of B. Badillo to show you the planters and trees (could not get a good shot because of the traffic).  The trees are over two years old and my blood this Spring.  I also included a facade that one hotel just finished.  The doors and shutters are all fake.  The entire facade was done to hide the air conditioning system.  Some times the Mexican's get it right.  (Not often, but sometimes!)

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MY MEXICAN PIED A TERRE

This is the posting you have been waiting for. Finally the: pictures of my newly completed apartment.  Only after three months, it is still not finished. Nothing happens quickly in Mexico.   For those of you who have fussed that I do not have enough photos, this one has too many pictures.   The location is a couple of blocks east of where the "snow birds" and visiting tourist frequent, but it is a very respectable neighborhood.  Besides the fish taco restaurant, there are two upscale clothing stores.   The street is one of the few remaining original streets where the cobble stones were laid in sand in a pattern.  Most of the streets now are concrete where they have thrown in some stones for effect.  Of course  it had  lots of pot holes (like most streets here) and I expected one day to find out that they had either dumped concrete in the holes or worse yet asphalt.  To my delight and amazement a group of men arrived dug up the street and relaid the cobble stones in sand and matching the original pattern.

The exterior is quite plain and unassuming (which I like).  It does not look like a place where a rich American would live here (I am not rich, but everyone assumes I am).  The starkness of the outside makes the impression of brilliant color even more impressive when you open the door.  Yes, it is much smaller than my spacious former apartment, (made even smaller by all the furniture I have crammed in it),  but I love it!  It does have an extra bedroom (if I ever have a guest again).   Two of the things I like best are having my own door on the street and the large private deck.  Of course just getting out of the Little House of Horrors would make anything seem wonderful.  Mexico is a noisy place and the bells on the church tower are really loud, but all in all it is so much quieter than my old place (with the exception of an occasional grenade!).

I did use pretty much the same color scheme (when you have a winning combination, why change?)  I did add blue and the yellow and green are far brighter and more brilliant. You will also notice that I did incorporate some of the furniture I had brought down from storage. I also had a few pieces from my previous apartments.   The two straw chairs I used at the breakfast counter at the old apartment went outside on the balcony.  I added the two bar stools and also more equipauli (pig skin furniture).  I needed someplace to read (when I have time) and with the lamp table, it made the perfect reading spot.  I ordered the chairs and table a month before I left for the States and they assured me that I would have it in 10 days.  I knew I wouldn't get it that fast, so I waited over two weeks and went back.  It would be delivered the next Monday.  No, and when I returned from my trip, it was still not ready.  After a total of six trips I was finally told why they were not ready.   They could not get a piece of leather large enough to do the high backs that I wanted.  Why they did not tell me that two and a half months earlier, I do not know. They offered to return my money.  So I decided to go to Bucerios (the only other place I knew of where they made the furniture) and start all over again.  They said that they "could" do the high back chairs, but they would cost over 3,000 pesos each! (I paid 750 pesos for the usual ones).  I was not asking for something totally out of reason, for I had seen them with  the high backs.  But they did have two old padded ones.  The arms and seat were padded and they were quite comfortable, so I bought them on the spot.  In Mexico you reach a point were the fight is just not worth it, so you settle for less than what you wanted.  That is just the way it is here.

The royal blue sofa to complete my living room area, still alludes me.  I guess I will have to have it made. 
I also had to buy a dresser for the bedroom (as this apartment has no drawers anywhere).  I was very excited when I found the mirror at the consignment store around the corner to put above it. .  Of course I used the same drapes and colors to match the bedspread.  The guest room had to start from scratch.  Since it is half the size of my room,  It is very sparsely furnished, except for the elaborately carved desk I bought from a friend of mine.  The mirror was there, I just added the frame.  I decided to name it the "Monk's room" and put a cross over the bed.

My favorite space is my cabana upstairs.  The plants all seem to love it and I have added even more.  It will take a year, but I think I can make the bougainvillea crawl across the whole railing.  I really love the blue and white pot that matches my ceramic light fixtures.  I bought a tiny bougainvillaea for it, but it will grow too.   The tall dead stick will be a gorgeous Hawaiian halcyon with two foot red and yellow flowers.  My friend had a forest of them in one pot and divided it and gave me two bulbs.   I had the canvas drops made to hide the laundry area.    There was only one light on the deck and it was on the wall opposite my cabana.  In order to turn it on, you had to cross the deck in the dark and find the switch behind the washer.  This would not do, so I told my electrician to add two lights in the cabana with a switch inside the door.  I came back one day and it was all done.  There was a switch in a little electric box on the wall and the electric cord connecting the lights on the brick wall was covered with a plastic strip.  It all looked very professional.  Then I looked over the ledge.  There was lamp wire coming  out of a hole near the washer runs along the wall then over the roof.  The wire even has two slices wrapped in tape.  Mexico!!

My prize is the kitchen.  Yes, it is small, but I like being surrounded by the three counters.  Everything is within reach.    I have even started to cook in it.  Since there were no drawers and no overhead cabinets, I bought a beautiful carved chest with four drawers and put it under the staircase.  I still did not have enough room so I added shelving under the counter and then just set some pots above the chest.  I like  the look.  I also added the three rustic shelves and painted them to match my color scheme.  Since there was only one small light in the ceiling I added more lights.   You could operate in that room now.

All in all, I think it is a very attractive apartment and I am very happy here.  Let's hope I can stay here for a long time as I have spent a fortune furnishing and decorating it.  You should visit me sometime.

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THE CAT AND THE COFFEE CAKE

Sadly parents use their children to peddle stuff on the streets.  They try to sell everything from Chiclets gum (yes they do that here too) to peanuts and trinkets, to home baked breads or tamales.  Many are too young to be in school, but it is not uncommon for parents to pull their kids out of school to peddle goods.  The poverty here is heart breaking and the parents know that it is harder for tourists to resist a little kid.

The kids are all cute here with their large brown eyes and ready smiles,  and some are really good at pulling on your heart strings.  Normally I ignore them but sometimes I will give them 5 or 10 pesos just to get them to go away.  There is one kid in his teens who has been selling his mother's coffee cake for many years.  When his mother became too ill to bake, he tried other products but it did not work out.  So he learned how to bake the coffee cake himself.  My favorite is the carrot cake.  They are about 8 inch long ovals and delicious with coffee in the morning.  He now knows me and my preference for the carrot and will seek me out.  Sometimes he also works the beach as well, trekking up and own the beach with his basket of bread.

One day I had purchased the bread while at the beach, and usually place it on top of the coffee pot.  When the coffee brews in the morning it warms the bread.  But before going to bed I tore off a couple of pieces and ate them with a glass of milk.  I retied the plastic baggy but I think I left it on the counter.  The following morning it was gone!  I looked everywhere for it.   NO! it was nowhere.  Since I have almost no drawers there isn't a lot of places to put stuff.  I spent all day trying to figure out what happened to it.  I know I brought it home from the beach for I had a piece before going to bed.  The half finished glass of milk was in the frig.  Was someone trying to "gas light" me or what??

Then I remembered the cat.  Although I have not encountered him again, I find dirty little paw prints under the open window so I know he has been here.  But that did not make any sense.  There wasn't even a crumb left and the whole plastic bag was gone.  Could he have jumped through the window with the bag in his teeth.  If he was that interested in the cake, what was in it??  I could not come up with another explanation as impossible as it all seemed.

Yesterday I bought another carrot cake while I was at the beach.  I left the bag tied up and placed it on the coffee pot.  Remembering what happened the last time, I intended to close that window before going to bed.  There is such a nice sweet breeze coming down from the mountains and through that window that I leave it open a lot.  But that night I had been to dinner with Nancy (my old neighbor from the Little House of Horrors).  After three margaritas and a few beers, I forgot to close the window.  The following morning as I staggered toward the coffee pot I noticed something on the floor.  Sure enough it was the half eaten bag of bread.  He had ripped through the bag but only managed to eat a little and with the ripped bag, I guess he could not get it out the window.  If he is that fascinated with it, is it made of fish oil or what?

Now, I am assuming it was a cat.  The thought of some other kind of creature crawling thought the window and roaming around the house is just too distressing to think about.  What is your opinion?


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CAUGHT AT CUSTOMS !

LAX certainly has the worst customs that I had ever experienced.  There are always very long lines and you are met by the rudest people you have even encountered.   By contrast Customs in Mexico is a breeze.  Normally short lines and you can whiz right through.  As you exit you approach a guard with a machine.  It has a large red button.  You are asked to push it, a red or green light will appear.  Green light and you are free to pass.  Red light and they want to go through all your baggage.  It is supposed to be a random choice and most of the time you will get the green light.  Is there someone in some hidden booth with a camera that actually chooses the red or green light?  I do not know, but I think that would be too technologically advanced for Mexico.

I was returning from a brief trip to Orange County to see doctors, friends, and take care of a little business.  I had also purchased a lot of stuff that you either cannot buy in Mexico or it is double the price.  So I had two suitcases.  I have gotten used to the Mexican cigarettes, but still prefer the milder American ones (even thought they are more expensive).  When I first moved here two years ago, I arrived with six bags and suitcases and brought three cartons of cigarettes.  That was my first "red light" experience.  After being caught once, I had two cartons, but then scattered another carton separately through the two suitcases.

First you have to hoist your bags up onto a portable picnic table.  No they will not help.  As old and feeble as I look they still stand there while you struggle to raise your bags up to table height.   One bag even had a red sticker on it stating that it was heavy.  No help.  I was sure they would figure out that I had more than 40 packages of cigarettes and I knew the procedure.  They take you in a little room and fill out some sort of paper work (IN SEVEN COPIES!)  Don't ask why seven copies, it is Mexico!  They  take the extra cigarettes you sign the paper and leave.

The customs agent began to paw through the stuff in my luggage.   I must admit it must have looked like I had raided a pharmacy.  Some things you can buy in Mexico but they are double the price so I had loaded up with mostly vitamins and cold stuff at Costco.  As you know they are not only large bottles, but often two are attached.  There were just a few prescription drugs as I don't need many.  He gave me a very strange look as be picked up and inspected each one.  Then he came upon the Japanese summer tea.   Years ago discovered it, so I have my friend in Japan send it to my P.O. Box so I can bring them back to Mexico.  I drink copious amount of iced tea.  This tea can be made in a few minutes in cold water and it is not only healthy, but no caffeine.  It is not really tea, but made from toasted wheat barley.  I had three large bags of it.  He wanted to know what it was (the label is in Japanese)  I tired to explain that it was not really tea (which was my first mistake) and opened one package to show him the little tea bags.  He looked curiously at it, then sniffed it.  Then he noticed the three tubes of tooth paste from Japan that my friend also sent.  Of course there is nothing on it but Japanese characters.  He wanted to know what it was, and then why I would import tooth paste.  Well it is gritty and you can't find gritty here.  He gave me that look again and went back to the tea bags.

Did he really think that I was smuggling marijuana to Mexico?  Why would anyone, and if someone did, why would Mexico care?  At this point I was escorted to the little interrogation room.  He left me alone with my luggage (locking the door behind him) .  Was there some kind of peep hole where they could watch to see ifI started to sweat?  I was annoyed, but fortunately I do not sweat.  My suitcases also contained two goose down pillows and two sets of satin-like sheets (the linens here are awful).  Maybe they thought I was going to open a brothel.  No, they really would not care about that.

 Then two men arrived with a dog!  Good Grief !  But luckily the dog did not like my summer tea or my tooth paste..  I offered to brew some up for them so they could taste it.  This idea did not help either.  Surely they wouldn't send my tea out for a drug test.  I would never get it back. After what seemed like hours to me, they decided to let it all pass.  Being old and feeble looking probably did help as well.  Had I been a teenager,  I would probably still be there.  And, they never did count the packages of cigarettes. So maybe if you really do want to smuggle something into Mexico, carry a couple of bags of Japanese tea.  NO !  You really do not want to go through the ordeal.   Oh, one more tip.   Once you pass customs run across that large room to the exit.  That corridor and room is overflowing with salesmen trying to sell you tours, time shares, and other scams. They are extremely aggressive, just ignore them.  You can buy your ticket for the cab there, but I just prefer to get away from there and buy  it outside.  It is set at $24.00 or 250 pesos (which is much cheaper).  There is only one cab company that is allowed to pick up passengers in the airport.  Or, you can drag your luggage up an enormous staircase and cross a bridge to the other side of the highway.  There you can get a cab for 125 pesos (half the price)     Welcome to Mexico and yes, I still love it here.



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