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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

CAUGHT AT CUSTOMS !

LAX certainly has the worst customs that I had ever experienced.  There are always very long lines and you are met by the rudest people you have even encountered.   By contrast Customs in Mexico is a breeze.  Normally short lines and you can whiz right through.  As you exit you approach a guard with a machine.  It has a large red button.  You are asked to push it, a red or green light will appear.  Green light and you are free to pass.  Red light and they want to go through all your baggage.  It is supposed to be a random choice and most of the time you will get the green light.  Is there someone in some hidden booth with a camera that actually chooses the red or green light?  I do not know, but I think that would be too technologically advanced for Mexico.

I was returning from a brief trip to Orange County to see doctors, friends, and take care of a little business.  I had also purchased a lot of stuff that you either cannot buy in Mexico or it is double the price.  So I had two suitcases.  I have gotten used to the Mexican cigarettes, but still prefer the milder American ones (even thought they are more expensive).  When I first moved here two years ago, I arrived with six bags and suitcases and brought three cartons of cigarettes.  That was my first "red light" experience.  After being caught once, I had two cartons, but then scattered another carton separately through the two suitcases.

First you have to hoist your bags up onto a portable picnic table.  No they will not help.  As old and feeble as I look they still stand there while you struggle to raise your bags up to table height.   One bag even had a red sticker on it stating that it was heavy.  No help.  I was sure they would figure out that I had more than 40 packages of cigarettes and I knew the procedure.  They take you in a little room and fill out some sort of paper work (IN SEVEN COPIES!)  Don't ask why seven copies, it is Mexico!  They  take the extra cigarettes you sign the paper and leave.

The customs agent began to paw through the stuff in my luggage.   I must admit it must have looked like I had raided a pharmacy.  Some things you can buy in Mexico but they are double the price so I had loaded up with mostly vitamins and cold stuff at Costco.  As you know they are not only large bottles, but often two are attached.  There were just a few prescription drugs as I don't need many.  He gave me a very strange look as be picked up and inspected each one.  Then he came upon the Japanese summer tea.   Years ago discovered it, so I have my friend in Japan send it to my P.O. Box so I can bring them back to Mexico.  I drink copious amount of iced tea.  This tea can be made in a few minutes in cold water and it is not only healthy, but no caffeine.  It is not really tea, but made from toasted wheat barley.  I had three large bags of it.  He wanted to know what it was (the label is in Japanese)  I tired to explain that it was not really tea (which was my first mistake) and opened one package to show him the little tea bags.  He looked curiously at it, then sniffed it.  Then he noticed the three tubes of tooth paste from Japan that my friend also sent.  Of course there is nothing on it but Japanese characters.  He wanted to know what it was, and then why I would import tooth paste.  Well it is gritty and you can't find gritty here.  He gave me that look again and went back to the tea bags.

Did he really think that I was smuggling marijuana to Mexico?  Why would anyone, and if someone did, why would Mexico care?  At this point I was escorted to the little interrogation room.  He left me alone with my luggage (locking the door behind him) .  Was there some kind of peep hole where they could watch to see ifI started to sweat?  I was annoyed, but fortunately I do not sweat.  My suitcases also contained two goose down pillows and two sets of satin-like sheets (the linens here are awful).  Maybe they thought I was going to open a brothel.  No, they really would not care about that.

 Then two men arrived with a dog!  Good Grief !  But luckily the dog did not like my summer tea or my tooth paste..  I offered to brew some up for them so they could taste it.  This idea did not help either.  Surely they wouldn't send my tea out for a drug test.  I would never get it back. After what seemed like hours to me, they decided to let it all pass.  Being old and feeble looking probably did help as well.  Had I been a teenager,  I would probably still be there.  And, they never did count the packages of cigarettes. So maybe if you really do want to smuggle something into Mexico, carry a couple of bags of Japanese tea.  NO !  You really do not want to go through the ordeal.   Oh, one more tip.   Once you pass customs run across that large room to the exit.  That corridor and room is overflowing with salesmen trying to sell you tours, time shares, and other scams. They are extremely aggressive, just ignore them.  You can buy your ticket for the cab there, but I just prefer to get away from there and buy  it outside.  It is set at $24.00 or 250 pesos (which is much cheaper).  There is only one cab company that is allowed to pick up passengers in the airport.  Or, you can drag your luggage up an enormous staircase and cross a bridge to the other side of the highway.  There you can get a cab for 125 pesos (half the price)     Welcome to Mexico and yes, I still love it here.



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