MEXICO PUEDE HACELO LOCO (MEXICO CAN DRIVE ONE CRAZY)

You have already heard me tell you how horrible Telecable  ("The terrible") is.   My TV cable and internet access has been "iffy" for six years.  The service is almost nonexistent.  You may recall that once it took me ten days to get them to fix my internet.  So, when I learned that a new company had bought Telecable, I was happy.  They could not be any worse (but I was wrong).  There was no notice at all, just a new bill for IZZI (is that a dizzy name or what?)  Instead of getting my regular bill, I got a strange statement from IZZI  It did say Cable Television, but no where did it mention Telecable.  I asked around and sure enough it was my new cable bill.  It asked for a payment by the 17th, but arrived on the 20th (they are stupid enough to use the Mexican postal system).  I had already paid Telecable on the 1st, which I have been doing by internet.  I tried, but it was not possible, but it did say I could pay the bill at the local OXXO (Mexico's 7- 11, and they are everywhere).  I was happy to see it was a little less, but the next month it was more.  No explanation, in fact the bill does not have any breakdown at all.  How much do I pay for the cable and how much do I pay for internet?  My old bill did break it down.

Of course the service was no better a couple times a week it would shut down for an hour to a day,  So when one day it was out again, I waited (big mistake).  On Friday I asked my neighbor and landlord and he said his was out too and he would call.  I waited and when nothing happened by Monday, I spoke to him again.  He said I had to take my old box (modem) down to the new office and get a new one.  I had Filipe take me (not just for the ride, but for translation for I knew no one would speak English)  We waited about an hour or so and finally got to speak to someone.  He said I had to call and get a technician out.  They do not hand out modems at the office.  I told him that was impossible for me and asked him to call.  He tried for at least 15 minutes and never got anyone, so he went onto his computer and said a technician would be there the following afternoon.  I have been here before and waited a week.  I had Filipe ask about the rumor that you had to turn in the box and sign a new contract.  That is true for the television, but you have to wait until they shut the service off.  "WHAT??"   I was sure Filipe had misunderstood, but he said "No"  Sometime next month, my television would go off and at that time I must return to the office to sign a new contract (at a much higher price) and get a "box" for the television.  Currently I have no TV box: it is connect directly to the cable, but apparently, no more.

This was ridiculous.  Why would someone buy a company that had the worst service record in Mexico and make it worse??  But they did!  So I had Filipe take me to the competitor called TelMex. They  had been purchased by AT&T and were putting in fiber optic cables all over town..  Just one month earlier they installed two huge cables to my building for the boutique shop below me.  But when I tried to sign up, she told me that my street did not have the cables in yet.  I told her that I saw them there a month ago for two days working on it.  She said, "Well, it isn't finished, but should be in a few weeks."  So I asked about getting television.  They have four plans from 180 to 800 pesos a month, but none have any English channels.  "WHAT??"  Again I was sure she was wrong or Filipe had once again misinterpreted it.  I asked her to check with the manager.  NO, No English! Now I realize that I live in Mexico, but Puerto Vallarta is a resort town with a winter population of about 30% English speaking.  Not to mention most of the population able to afford the service speak English.  Is this stupid or what?  I decided to sign up for the internet anyway and she said they would call when it was ready.  After I got home, I went into the boutique and asked them about TelMex.  Oh Yes! they have had it for a month and love it for it is so fast.  Apparently the office was never informed that indeed the fiber optic cables have been installed.  But you get no where arguing with a Mexican, so you wait.

I had asked IZZI for service in the afternoon.  Just to complicate matters this happens to be The Festival of Santa Cruz so my street is closed to traffic for three blocks  I had no idea where he would park and if he need the truck for the ladder to reach to telephone poles, we would both be out of luck  I decided to go to the gym so I would be back before noon.  When I got home there was a note that he had been there at 11:00.  Now in Mexico lunch is at 2:00 so how could he think at 11:00am was afternoon. The note had only one number on it.  It was the number in Guadalajara that no one answers.  Then I remembered that they said they would call.  Sure enough my phone has a "missed call"  (I do not take the phone to the gym).  but it does captures the number so I called.  On the third try someone answered.  I tried in my best Spanish (which is awful) to tell him who I was and I needed some help.  I think he said "mas tarde" (which could be later or afternoon) or manana (which could be morning, tomorrow or never).  I panicked and decided I needed help.  I was going to my neighbors store when I spotted Jorge (my little friend).  He does not understand or speak a word of English, so I tried my best to explain what was happening to me.  He offered to go to IZZI but I told him that was kind of him, but not necessary for I have a telephone number of the technician.  He spoke to him for several minutes and told me that the guy would be here later today.  Apparently he understood Jorge's Spanish better than mine.  I now have internet, or I would not be writing this blog.  Oddly enough I saw my neighbor that night and he said he still had no internet and he is not only Mexican but his aunt owns the entire block.

I planned on waiting to see if TelMex shows up and see if it really is that much better then I will try to go to IZZI and sign up for TV cable only (what are the odds).  Then I read an article in the local English newspaper about IZZI.  It is true that one day my television will cease to work.  There will be a notice on the television to go to IZZI and sign a new contract and pick up a digital box. (Do I have a digital T.V?)  Colonia by colonia (neighborhood by neighborhood) they will shut off your T.V.  He went on to say that you must sign a new contract for a much higher price (55% increase) but when he did, he discovered that his favorite channels were gone.  They do not carry NBC,CBC, ABC. or CNN. Is this crazy??  I actually watch very little television anyway for I never know what programs are on or where they are.  (We have no TV Guide in English or Spanish).  Every morning I do turn on CNN but I am not sure why, as the news is the same as it was the day before.  Then Jennifer told me to just get Nexflix for $8.00 a month and I can get any program I want.  I am going to try it and hope (if TelMex connects me to their internet) to go back to IZZI and tell them to Shove their service where no sun shines!!  It has been two weeks since I signed the contract with TelMex.   They did give me the modem, but not a copy of the contract.  (maybe the technician will bring it)   I have received an email, two text messages and two calls from someone that may have been TelMex.  I had a friend translate the messages and he said that all is says is they are glad I signed up and a technician will come to my home.  WHEN??

While I am writing this I am being assaulted by loud speakers blasting out music while the dancers are stomping on the metal platform in front of my house.  It gives me a great view of the show and I have invited 7 people over for the May 3rd fireworks spectacular.  This may present another problem.  The dressing rooms are directly under my balcony and from my door to the curb the sidewalk is blocked off to pedestrians as well.  I went out my front door to take a few pictures and found myself in their dressing room.  People stared at me and started pushing around me and I thought about saying,   "Hey, I live here.  This is my street" (in my best Spanish of course).  This year they are calling it The Festival of May instead of Santa Cruz (which is the name of my church).  Odd since it started around the middle of April and ends with the huge five story fire works display on May 3rd.  Every night troupes of entertainers, sing and dance (a lot of stomping of feet) but one night they did the tango which was really beautiful and all the costumes are fantastic, but the finally  is what we all wait for.  For two weeks I have an amazing floor show just below me.  Yes, it is noisy, but it usually ends by 11:00.  The dancers are amazing coming from all over Mexico and as far away as El Salvador and Honduras and Chili.  They arrive and leave by tour bus.  My camera flash does not reach far so I shot a view of the stage and dressing rooms and one while a group was practicing while it was still light.  It will show the proximity of the stage and dressing tents to my balcony.

Everyone at my party was amazed by the spectacular show and fireworks which is better and better each year.  Two people had never seen it before and couldn't believe that the best show in town is not that well known.  It is almost exclusively attended by Mexicans  (I would guess at least 2 or 300 this year).  They set up an altar on the stage and five priests came out and did their little thing  I assume they were all priests as all had on red robes (Puerta Vallarta does not have a cardinal)

Then the choir came out.  They are fantastic.  I love listening to them every Sunday.  I can sit on my terrace drinking under my palapa and hear them inside the church. When one lives in Mexico you do not really need television to be entertained  Yes, there are lots of problems and frustrations living in Mexico.   But where else could a near octogenarian with very little money have such an interesting and fun life?  You have to admit, my life is certainly not boring.

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