You think you are tired of hearing about my electric problems? Well think I feel about living with them. I know this is Mexico and you have to learn to go with the flow or you get swallowed by the tide. But my patience has limits.
It isn't every morning, just about once or twice a week I awake to no electricity. This has been going on for about six weeks. At first I ran down to Jose and had him call the electric company. It was the same each time. "If" they send someone out, by the time they got here, the electricity was back on. Every time they say there is "no problemo". You see most people in Mexico don't get up as early as I do, so no electricity until 8:30 or 9:00 isn't a problem.
A few days ago I awoke again to no electricity. It is still dark when I get up and no way to make my coffee which I needed desperately. I ran downstairs to Jose. He just laughed. You see the Mexicans are a very "happy go lucky" group of people. Everything is funny and they laugh all the time. I was not amused! Jose told me that the electricity goes off between 3:00 and 4:00am. How would "he" know when "my" electricity goes off? Well it is because he uses my electricity. He came to me one day and told me that he was having trouble getting electricity in his name. Exactly why, I do not know. He speaks perfect English but for some reason was unable to explain to me what his problem was. I was assured it would only be for a few weeks (it has been over a month). So he ran a very long extension cord out my kitchen window and down the light well to his place.
Once more he called and it was the same. They fill out a report and give him the number of the report. My electric bill is now covered with such numbers. As usual the electricity came back on some time after dawn I told Jose to ask for a new meter. He was informed that since the meter was not broken, I could not get a new one. That is when I came up with the "brilliant idea" to take a sledge hammer to the meter. They want a broken meter, they are going to get one! I realized there were some flaws to this idea. If I was caught I could be fined, or worse taken to jail. At the very least I would have to pay for a new meter. So I decided to ask Jose to do it for me. Well, he does speak better Spanish; he is a "smooth talker", and he could do it at 5:00am when no one was around and he is using my electricity. He said he would take a rock to it the following day.
Then, I thought again and decided to call my own electrician first and told Jose to hold off for a few days. I had no idea what an electrician could do, but maybe I could get some better answers. The very day the electrician was to show up. it happened again. I knew the number to call and my Spanish is getting better so I decided it was time they heard from an Angry American (Americano enojado). It is the same here as in the States when you call any company. You get a recording that asks to to push a number for what ever problem you think you have. I could not understand all they said, so I just kept pushing numbers until I got a live person.
As far as I know I am the only one in the building with this problem, but since none of my neighbors are up before 8:30 or 9:00, we are not sure (no one in Mexico has a clock, so there is nothing to stop running)
The stair lights are still on. Thank God, for I am sure I would have broken my neck falling down the stone and concrete steps. Since it was too dark in my apartment to read the numbers on my bill, I had to stand in the hall. Of course I was screaming. I must admit this gave me a little bit of satisfaction for I knew my neighbors were still asleep and felt it was pay back for all their late night parties that keep me up.
The first person did speak some English but when he asked if I had filled out a report, I began to scream at him I have the numbers of 6 reports that have been filled out. He hung up (at least we were some how disconnected) I called back using the same technique to get a live person. This one spoke no English which caused me to scream even louder. No matter how many time I told her (in Spanish) that I could not understand her, she continued in Spanish. I gave up and hung up and called again. This time I did get someone who spoke some English. I don't know if it was my poor Spanish, or her lack of understanding English, but when I read off the number on my bill. She said, " Oh, you live in Guadalajara!" I was already angry and frustrated, but remembering the man who hung up on me, I tried not to totally lose it.
We finally got the correct information and she gave me the number of yet another report. I told her that this did no good. She must have understood my frustration and promised me that someone would be there today and would call me. No one did call, but to my amazement but when i was coming back from my coffee house on my way to Spanish, there was an electric truck. One of the men did speak English. I didn't go so far as to tell him that if it wasn't fixed, I would break the meter with a rock (well, Jose would). But I did insist that something was wrong with my meter. He finally agreed and gave me a new meter. The electrician arrived shortly afterward and told me that the meter they took out was a newer, but flawed meter and the old larger one they put in was much better. They think that there is some sort of electric surge early in the morning and the new meters are set to shut down, to prevent overloading. We will see.
I did have a few electric problems (out side of no electricity in the morning). First I could not get the light over the stove to work. Some superglue fixed that. The light in the hall that kept going on and off wasn't screwed in tight enough. There was nothing he could do about replacing my bathroom light because the hole behind it is square and too large for the fixture I bought. It never ends here. Do I still love living here? Yes, I do! Where else could I get so much fodder for my blog???
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OK, this one takes the prize for the best comedy writing in a long time. Of course I am thinking Musical, and I am thinking "American In Mexico" might be a good working title.
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