ALL ABOUT BUSES

Yes, it has been a while and I know you have missed me.  It was not just because I am lazy and running out of topics, but because I had a problem with my computer.  One day I must do a post on "computer speak in Spanish"  It is not easy.  Most of my computer is in English, but when ever a problem (or a pop up) appears, it is in Spanish.  I, of course have no clue.  My computer guru came here this morning (luckily the electricity was on) to fix some of my problems.  The problem with my blog was that Internet Explorer would no longer support the system, so he said he had to try a new server and switched me to Fire Fox.  Do I understand what I just said?  NO!!

Okay, back to buses.  Yes  I wrote about them last year, but I don't remember what I said so I am counting on you not remembering either.  Plus, after over one year of living here, I think I now know all you need to know about buses.  Notice I said "NEED TO KNOW"  For there are always situations here that simply defy explanation.  Of course living over a major bus stop has helped expand my knowledge as well.


First you must learn the colors.  The blue and the green buses go North, the orange buses go South.  But the buses go by different routes.  There are also white buses that travel inland to various small towns and special destinations, like the Botanical Gardens, most of them are marked. For these buses you must buy a ticket sold at a few of the local tiendas (small corner grocery stores).  In order to travel long distances by bus you must go to the main bus depot past the airport.  There are roll up signs above the windshields that indicate the last stop.  You need not pay much attention to them, because they don't tell you how they get there or where they stop (besides sometimes they forget to roll over the sign when they change directions).  You have to read the hand written signs scribbled on the windshield for the stops.  This can be a problem for someone with bad eye sight for by the time you can figure out what the sign says, the bus has passed by.  You must hold up your arm and wave to get them to stop.  Just because it is a regular bus stop where you are standing they won't stop unless they are dropping someone off.  There is another reason it is hard to read the signs for Costco is spelled Cotsco.  They pronounce it that way so they spell it that way.  The North bound buses have a sort of card placed at the bottom of the windshield that says, "Centro" or "Tunel"  I always try to get the "Tunel" bus for it avoids the heavy traffic from tourist in the center of town.

These are just the municipal buses, which number about 500.  There are also tour buses, buses from the ocean liners, and special tour buses.  Most of them are large air conditioned buses some with bath rooms.  They bare absolutely no resemblance to the municipal buses.  There is one little open air tour bus that sort of resembles a San Francisco trolley on rubber wheels (not sure who runs that, nor have I ever gotten on board)..  Our mayor who has been on an amazing building spree now says they will move City Hall and all municipal and federal offices out of town.  The idea is to reduce the number of buses running through the center of town.   Who know?

Never be the last to board because the bus will take off as soon as you put one foot on the stairs.  I have been known to shove old women and children out of the way.  You should also have the correct change because you want to get to your seat as soon as possible.  The buses take off at such speeds you can be thrown to the back of the bus.  They also rarely close the doors, so you don't want to be anywhere near an open door once the bus takes off.   I found that sitting in the middle is best for avoiding being bounced off your seat when they speed over the speed bumps.  Why they bother with the speed bumps, I do not know and it isn't just one, but a series of four or five.  I hold on for dear life even after I am seated.

Exactly why the buses travel at such speeds, racing against one another is unknown.  I have been told that more people are killed in Mexico by buses than cars (let alone blown away by drug lords).  Not that I have ever witnessed any of the above, but that is what I heard.  All the municipal buses are in horrible condition.  There are broken seats and windows, holes in the floor, and none have shock absorbers.  Most of them also have failing brakes.  You can hear the brakes scream in agony ever time he pushes on the brake peddle.  Sometimes they break down totally.  This happened to me one day coming back from Walmart.  The bus just stopped in the middle of a major highway.  After some chattering in Spanish, people started to get off the bus.  I was pretty sure this was not a fire drill, so I got off too.  I think that because of the confused look on my face someone told me not to worry for the driver was flagging down another bus and we could get on without paying an additional fare.  AN ADDITIONAL FARE??  We were standing in the middle of a Mexican freeway.  It was a horrifying experience

Why do I subject myself to this kind of torture?  Well, they are cheap!  You can go from one end of town to the other for 6.5 pesos (about 5 cents).  A longer trip to say Mismaloya is 7 pesos.  Cab fare from Costco or Walmart is 60 to 80 pesos.  Let's face it I am cheap.  This did not work out for me one day.  I managed to get 8 bottles of cheap wine in my back pack.  It was heavy but I was sure I could manage on the bus. To my dismay, I got one of the Indy 500 drivers.  He raced down the streets trying to pass other buses so closely I was sure they would lock rear view mirrors.  I don't know what he was late for, but I was not sure I would even arrive at all.  Then we hit a large bump, my back pack jumped off the seat and onto the floor.  I lost two bottles of wine (twice the price of a cab).  Wine was swirling all over the floor as the bus careened through the tunnel at unbelievable speeds.  I knew just how Princess Diana felt when she entered the tunnel under The Pont Alma in Paris. But, I didn't have far to go before I carried my dripping back pack off the bus, just glad to still be alive.

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