MEXICO Y RUDIO (NOISE)

Mexicans love noise.  Bars play the music so loud that you can hear it  blocks away.  It makes conversation inside almost impossible.  Cars drive by with speakers blasting away.  Trucks go up and down the streets with megahorns attached to the hoods.  They sell everything from tacos, to fruit to natural gas.  All screaming a the top of their lungs.   The men shout when they speak, and the women scream.  There are many street musicians as well.  The mariachis stay down on the Malecon and Olas Altos.  Sometimes only a drummer and a guy with a trumpet or tuba,  They make enough noise that is sounds like a full band coming up the street. But nothing compares with the noise during the Festival of Santa Cruz.

It occurs each year around May 3rd.  In my last posting on the church, I said that it went on for a week before and a few days afterward.  That turned out not to be true.  It lasted for over three weeks, blocking off three blocks of my street.  Neighbors and businesses were outraged.  At the following district meeting they complained about the length of the festival and asked the Mayor (El Presidente here) what happened to the money.  All the rides and stalls along the street said that they paid 10,000 pesos to be there.  The treasurer got up and said, she never received a dime.  The mayor refused to explain.  He has since resigned and we are about to have another election for Mayor.  With all the fuss over last year, we were sure it would not happen again.  Wrong!!  Who is getting the money this year, no one will ever know.

At first there were far fewer kiddy rides and food booths.  As the week progressed, more rides arrived each night.   Why they have to assemble them in the middle of the night, I do not know, but they do.  It was just the beginning of all the noise.   I do not really mind the screams and yells of the little kids, but then they are drowned out by all the other noises.   The one car ride that has an awful siren and horn sound, Luckily it is at the other end of the street.  What really set me off was the performance platform installed under my bedroom balcony.  Last year it was located in the next block.  That noise was bad enough, but this is almost intolerable.

They have installed a huge dance platform and speakers that are the size of a small automobile.   When no group is performing, they have Mexican radio station on.  The bass literally shakes the entire building.   To my amazement and horror,  they installed two even larger speakers at the other end of the street for another ride.  You have the constant drum, drum drum and stomping of the dancing troops while the music at the other end of the block continues.  Of course we have bells all week and they have started up the cannon.  It is not really a cannon (as it was in the old days) but a rocket that is launched to explode in the air.   Previously a man had to crawl out of the second story window to stand on the roof to set off the rockets.  Last year they built an extension to a class room on the second floor, turned a window into a door and built a stair case to get to the roof.  It was very nicely finished off in a Mission style with yet another bell.

I learned that all the dancers are from schools around the area, but someone pays for all the platforms, lights and sound equipment.  When they set it up under my balcony, I wonder how where they would set up the chairs for the audience.   Well, they put them in the middle of the intersection, of course.   They always block off the cross street for the final bonfire and fireworks, but this is insane.  Not only does it disturb all traffic, but that street is a bus  route.  Since every other street is one way, I do not know where the buses go now.  Maybe they just charge up the wrong way on the next street.  After all it is Mexico and here, no one gets in the way of the buses.  They know they are bigger and they will run right over you.  Although the dancers and singers are not really professional, some were really good.  All of them had fantastic costumes.   On the final day, the stage was set up like an altar and the church choir sang.  They are good enough to perform at the Performing Arts Theater.  All year I will sit up on my deck and listen to the choir.

Then in the middle of the festival, we had a little  "dust up" with the local drug cartel.  The state of Jalisco (which covers Guadalajara to Puerto Vallarta) arrested a major drug lord.  The cartel was pissed and declared war on Jalisco.  They bombed banks and gas stations (why those two, we do not know)  Since it was a Holiday all the businesses were closed, so no one was hurt or injured.  They also set fire to some police cars (most of this in Guadalajara).  Now, before you say "I told you so !"  It was not as bad as Fuergeson  or  Baltimore, and I would rather live here.

 

 Still it did unnerve some people and some bars closed that night.  My friend Filiipe was to bring his wife and kid over that night.  He called and said they were staying home and he thought that the festival might shut down as well.

No such luck. It ran past midnight that night.  As I thought about it, all the drug dealers here are "Good Catholics" so this was probably the safest place in town.  In a day things calmed down, I guessed that drug cartel thought they had made their point.   No, it wasn't that.  The drug lord somehow "escaped" from the Guadalajara jail.  Who knew ??   On the last night I invited a group of friends over for pizza to watch the fire works.  They were even more  spectacular.  It was the fortieth year for the church, so they went all out. A structure over four stories tall is erected in front of the church.  It is covered with fireworks displays that went on for a good half hour.  For the finale, the top blows off into the air and  fireworks rained down on us for several more minutes directly overhead.  During this display all of the bells on the church are ringing.  It was something.

It was after 1:00am before I got to bed, but got up at my usual early hour and almost everything was gone.  I was so tired I did not even hear the noise.  I plan on going to bed early tonight.

MUCHOS FIESTAS

The winter or "High Season" is when most of the people I know spend time in Puerto Vallarta.  Some were here only for a few days, some stay for a month or more.  So far none has used my guest bedroom, but I have been busy.  My social scene is normally pretty limited so I am not used to the constant dinners and parties.  Two of my new friends that I met at bridge spend almost six months  here and entertain the entire time they are here.  I have been fortunate to attend many of their dinners over the years, but last year missed their biggest party (a costume party)  because I was out of town  

Although it follows Mardi Gras they say it has nothing to do with Mardi Gras, it is just an excuse for another party.  Mardi Gras here by the way, is nothing like Rio or New Orleans.  Very few people dress up and the parade consists of cars and pick up trucks decorated with balloons.  It has always been in the Romantic Zone and mostly sponsored by the LGBT group.  A few years ago, the mayor (who always makes stupid decisions), decided he wanted it on the Malecon and he wanted it to be more "family friendly"  Mardi Gras ??? Really ??  Anyway the parade continued but it does start on the Malecon and winds up at the pier in Zona Romatica.

At first I had no idea what to do for a costume, then I saw my El Sofa coffee lady dress up as a witch for Holloween.  I asked if I could borrow her costume and she agreed to do my make up.  The make up took an hour.  She wanted to add a false nose and chin, but I declined as I knew it would be too uncomfortable to wear it all evening (especially while eating dinner).  Still, no one recognized me at first.  Yes, the costume was more appropriate for Holloween than Mardi Gras, but it was still a good costume.

The home where the party took place is in Los Gaviotos where they are nothing but mansions on large lots.  A few years ago they purchased the lot behind them for an extension of their already large beautiful garden.  I happened to be at a dinner party (a sit down for 20 people) just after they purchased the property.     They had cut an oval hole in their wall where you could see just a vacant lot with weeds.  Not more than two or three months later, I was again invited and to my amazement the garden was complete with full grown trees and vines climbing up and over eight foot walls.


They had set up eight or nine tables for eight in the garden on each side of a center fountain..  At the back of the new garden is a cabana where the bar was set up and opposite it is a full kitchen (behind their orchid garden).  The photos of me were taken in my apartment, but I took the camera to document the party.  After just a few shots, the batteries died.  It happens all the time here because of the heat and humidity.  So I have very few photos to show you.  By the way, I won a prize for my costume, but have no idea why (maybe for the ugliest drag).  There was so much noise with all the people I could not hear anything until suddenly I heard my name being called out.  It was a very fun party.  I have no idea what costume I will come up with next year.


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VUELVO AT YAPLAPA (RETURN TO YALAPA)

An old friend of mine was spending a week here in Vallarta and I told him that a trip to Yalapa was a "must".  It is a tiny little village with no roads or cars.  The only way to reach it is by boat, so it has remained pretty primitive and very much like Vallarta was fifty years ago (before Huston and the Burtons arrived),  It had been over two years since I had visited myself, so it you have been following me for several years, you may remember my last blog.

As I mentioned before, the boat trip is half the fun of going there.  The reason I know it was more than two years ago is because at the time you had to wade out to the water taxi.  The pier had not yet been rebuilt.  Just before the pier is a little stand where they sell tickets.   The new pier is one of the landmarks of Vallarta that the city did a good job on.  The "sail" theme is also repeated along the Malecon.  At night it is illuminated with a series of colored lights.  The street leading to the pier has now been made into a pedestrian mall.  Unfortunately the city did not do a good job on landscaping the street, but maybe in time it will improve.

 A round trip is 280 pesos (or about  $20.00).  This time we were able to leave from the pier but getting in and out of the boat is still treacherous.   For reasons only explained by (It's Mexico !) everyone is handed a life jacket on the way over, but not on the way back. (in fact the boat did not even contain any lifesaver vests).   Unfortunately this time we saw no whales or dolphins.  There had been a recent tropical storm so maybe that is why they were not there.  We passed "Los Arcos" or three large rocks with tunnels through them.  At low tide the boats will go through the tunnel, but no this time.

Depending on who is board, the water taxi sometimes makes stops at Boca de Tomatlan and Las Animas.  Yalapa is on a little bay with ancient piers at each end.  This time we were dropped off at the South pier which made the hike to the waterfall easier.  Sometimes they simply beach the water taxi on the sand and you have to wade off the boat.  Again there is no explanation for why: it just is.  We started with the short climb up to the waterfall.  The paths (they are not really streets) are now concrete and cobblestones (much better than the dirt and mud of former days).  It is a pretty water fall, although nothing spectacular.  There is another larger fall further up the mountain, but I have been told it is over an hour climb and not well marked (nothing is here).

After the falls we circled the town giving us great views of the bay.  Like almost all towns along the coast, it was founded at the mouth of a river (which usually opens into a small bay).  Due to almost constant sand bars, a small lake has formed.  When pressure builds up the lake and water will break through the sand bar forcing you to wade across the stream.  I have been there went it was almost waist deep and very treacherous.  Today  it was less than knee deep.  There are also lots of iguanas in Yalapa.  This one is a pet that a guy carries around on his shoulder.  If he sees you taking a picture, he will demand 100 pesos, so I took this photo when he wasn't looking.

There really is no "town", just a few shops and many restaurants.  All of them have tables and chairs set onto the sand.  We had a nice lunch watching the waves and kids playing in the water.  If one where so inclined, there are stables behind the restaurants where you can rent a horse (or maybe a donkey)  Other than that, there is nothing to do in Yalapa, just to chill out and enjoy the view.   It would be a great place to smoke weed (but then, I already have too many vices).   The ride back seemed a little faster, but it did travel close to the shore.  The waves crashing on rocks creates a tableau of deep blue, aqua and white.  On both trips we were on the wrong side of the boat to get a good picture, but I did the best I could (not being a good photographer, or an writer for that matter).  It is a trip I would advise anyone visiting here to take.



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UNA OTRA FIESTA DE COCTEL

Once  year I throw a big Cocktail Party (my one contribution to P.V social life).  It is however greatly anticipated as I have been told that my parties are the Best!  This year I gave it later than usual in order to avoid the rain that plagued my last party.  It is also necessary that I try to plan it when most of my "snow bird" friends are in town.

I have several rules about giving a good party.  It always starts with the guest list.  They should be  an assortment of types and ages, but must be compatible.  My main rule is to invite twice as many people as I have chairs, that way you wind up with a standing party.  People are forced to move about and talk to more people.  Since I only have a total 17 seats, that is not a problem as I know over 100 people in town.  I try to limit the guest list to 50 as my apartment is rather small.  My large deck covers the overflow.

Although I make it clear that it is "cocktails, not dinner",  I always have plenty of food.  My local coffee cafe lady makes wonderful small thin crust pizzas.  Then a nearby Mexican restaurant makes a super platter of bite size Mexican food (tacos, burritos, and small quesadillas).  Then I will make up platters of meat and cheese.  My good friend Hector makes the best guacamole in the world and brings me a big bowl of it.  I also have dips, cheese, nuts etc.

This year I wound up inviting almost 60 people, but I knew that from years past about 15% will not show up (especially the new people as they do not know how great my parties really are).  of  course a few guests will enter dragging two or three people behind them that I do not know (and often they are people I do not want to know).  An exception was a very tall very attractive lady who must have arrived while I was upstairs.  I never did find out who brought her, but I liked her and she added to the party.  Maybe she just wandered in off the street, but she did not look the type.

My apartment is always relatively clean, but for a big party I gave it an extra scrubbing.  I want everything to sparkle.  Windows, glass and mirrors, as well as all the black wrought iron and the furniture gets polished.  By the day of my party, I was already exhausted,  then the lever in the toilet broke.  I could have called Saul, but would you want a plumber in your house hours before a party? Besides, you never know for sure when he will show up.  So, I wired it back together with some nylon cord.  It flushed, but you had to hold the handle down.  It also spits at you.  I was a little worried, then thought that having only one toilet with 50 people may be more of a problem than a semi flushing, spitting toilet.

My bartender for the past four years arrived early with a kid named Jesus.  My first party I had Alex help out.  He was great  but broke his leg.  Then I had Francisco, but he moved to Mexico City.  So I asked Filipe and he suggested a part time bartender from Fridas that I had never met. He was terrific and everyone liked him.  He served food, got drinks, filled wine glasses, and picked up discarded glasses and emptied ash trays.  I of course kept running up and down the stairs making sure everyone had what ever they needed and making sure everyone had someone to talk to.  It went very well and again everyone told me what a wonderful party it was.  Before the party started, I took out my camera and checked the batteries. I left it on the bar in front of Filipe.  I never thought of it again, so once again I have almost no photos.  Luckily Hector had taken a picture on the guacamole he brought.

After four hours people started to leave.  I could not wait to lock the doors as I was about to drop. Towards the end of the party one lady asked if she could lie down for a while before going home.  She does not own a car, so she wasn't driving.  What could be so challenging about hailing a cab?  Anyway I showed her to the guest room.  After finally putting out the last guest and surveying the disaster that was my floor, I noticed that the guest bedroom door was still closed.  Sure enough there she was (not just on top of the comforter, but in the bed),  For a moment I thought about letting her sleep but decided against it.  Morning was going to be difficult enough for me without having to cope with Sleeping Beauty with a hangover.  She left.

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LOS EQUIPAULIS

When I first thought about furnishing my apartment, I thought of equipaulis.  I wanted to have a Mexican look and nothing says Mexican like equipaulis.  No one seems to know where the name comes from (it might be a Mexican Indian word).   It is a line of crude furniture made of sticks of wood with pigskin stretched over twigs.  The pigskin is cured in horse urine, so you have to let it air awhile before you want to bring it inside.

First I bought two chairs and three small end tables for my very first apartment.  When I moved to one with a large deck, I added two more chairs and a large dining table.   Then when I moved to my present place, I wanted two larger chairs and a lamp table for the living room to create a little reading area.  That was my first big problem  with the equipauli people.   Of course each delivery was never on time.  They never called before arriving, but that is just Mexico.  One day when I came home from the gym, I found them sitting in front of my door, just waiting.  Wouldn't a call have been easier?

The other problem is that there is only one place that makes the furniture and there are no regular hours.  You just have to keep going back until you find them there (they also don't answer their phone).   Also not one of them speaks a word of English.  So maybe they are embarrassed for not being able to speak English.  I am the one who should be embarrassed, for after all, it is their country
So each time I stopped there, I had someone with me who spoke Spanish.  I had seen some high backed equipauli chairs and wanted that look for my little reading area.  I could tell by the expression on their faces, that doing something a little different was not to their liking.  They charged more for the chairs, but after giving them a deposit they agreed to make them.  (in a week, I think they said).  Well it took many stops over almost two months to learn that they could not or did not want to make them. As it was translated to me, the higher back would require a larger pig hide and they couldn't find one.  Now the dinning tables use a much larger piece of leather, but never mind, that was their story.

I heard of a sort of antique place in Bucerios (about one hour away) that did carry some equipaulis.  So I went there.  No high backed chairs and they were not interested in making any.  They did have two old chairs that were heavily padded, but I thought would be okay.  The leather was in awful condition, but I was told that it would be cleaned up like new before delivery.  NOT TRUE !!  But when I got them, I was too tired fighting and just accepted them.  I went back to the first place and had them make the lamp table for the amount of my original deposit, so I was set.

Two years later, one of the original chairs (now four years old)  that seem to get the most rain began to rot.   Termites attack them, but I had already taken care of that problem with a strong smelling liquid that is applied with a paint brush.  In fact I had recently had to repaint my lamp table (the termites love the stuff).   No, this was just rot.  The bottom wood turned to mush.  By using several kinds and tubes of glue I tried to stabilize it, but to no avail.  It continued to deteriorate.  Then I had some friends over for cocktails.  I warned them not to sit in the bad one, but one guy kept leaning back and rocking in his chair.  The next day I discovered that it too was rotting and the extra weight broke the bottom part.  It took many trips to their shop to find them in, but a Mexican friend of mine told them of my problem and the agreed to take a look at them.

They were to call him first, but did not.  They just appeared one day.  He gave me a price on the two chairs and a small table where the leather had split  (due to the sun on my balcony).  Just 5 days later, I happened to to peering over my terrace and on the street below was his car that obviously had equipaulis in the back seat.  I ran down stairs to catch him.  While he brought the furniture up, I went into my bedroom to count out the exact amount of money (they never have change).  At the top of the stairs was one chair that looked brand new and the small table with a new leather top.  I assumed the other chair had been carried up to the deck.  After I paid him for the two chairs, then I realized that there was only the one chair.

Next day I had my Mexican friend stop there to find out what happened to the other chair.  The guy said that it was just too far gone to repair.  But I paid for the two chairs!.  He claimed not to have noticed how much money I gave him and then said he would have it ready in a week.  None of this makes any sense, but "it is Mexico".  He also said he would do it "for the same price"  (does that mean what I already paid him or did he want another 300 pesos?)

Two weeks later I had my Mexican friend stop by and ask how it was going.  The guy said the chair would be ready next week and he would deliver it at 5:00 Monday.  Of course he never showed up and he never called.  As it happened, my friend was passing their shop the next day and stopped.  They told him that the chair was already on the truck and would be delivered to me withing the hour.  It was over five hours later that they arrived, but again the chair looked brand new.  I thanked him and told him how happy I was and he left.  No money asked for.  They are not dependable about time, but I must admit that most Mexicans I have dealt with are basically honest.  You just have to have a lot of patience.

LOS JARDINES DE BOTANICOS

Since most of my posting are about problems I encounter living in Mexico, I thought I would write something on a lighter note.  The Botanical Gardens are one of the many good things about living in Vallarta.   I wrote about them a couple of times before a few years ago (but most of you will not remember anyway).  Also it was the first time I went there right after some heavy rains.

Friends of mine from San Diego were in town and they came up with the idea.  I was delighted especially since I love showing it off to new people.  The bus leaves from the corner of my block.  It leaves about every 30 minutes and the cost is only twenty pesos (about $1.50).  It takes a little over a half hour on the road along the coast.  Out of the bus window you get wonderful views of the Pacific Coast.  We pass Mismaloya and several other hotels and mansions along the coast.   Then cuts inland at Boca, and climbs into the mountains.  The property was purchased about seven or eight years ago, by an American who raised the money through donations.  It is quite beautiful and covers hundreds of acres.  The cost to enter has gone from 45 pesos to 60 pesos (everything is going up here).

There are many trails taking you though the jungle of palms, ferns and orchids.  The trails can be treacherous and I would advise wearing tennis shoes.  There are several small streams that lead into a river at the bottom of the valley.  Oddly many of the blooming plants I remembered where not in bloom, but the greenery is gorgeous.  One in particular was the jade vine, which has a flower that does not look natural for it is an iridescent  blue green.   The river can be viewed from the restaurant.  The climb down is difficult, and the trip back up out of the canyon is grueling.

 The restaurant sits atop a hill with a view over the vast gardens.  It is quite lovely and the food is good too.  They have added some bird feeders of fresh fruit and many beautiful birds greedily fought for the food.  My camera had a hard time catching a shot of them.  Every time I opened the camera the birds flew away (camera shy, I guess).  There were blue birds and lots of black ones with brilliant yellow wings (orioles, maybe)   I was also disappointed in the new Orchid Conservatory.  It has been under construction for four years and although the structure is lovely, but the plan display of orchids is pitiful.  Hopefully they are not through with it.  There were many more orchids in a display where you could buy them.

Like most things in Mexico it does have it's down side.  Having been there before I knew to coat myself with mosquito repellent.  I used a cream first then followed with a spray and wore a long sleeve shirt and tennis shoes with calf length socks.  Alas, it did not work.  We all think that the bites occurred while we waited half an hour at the bus stop.  You could see them buzzing around.  I was not prepared for what I discovered when I got home.  My legs with covered with more than twenty bites. The long sleeve shirt protected my arms, so they bit my knuckles.   One even bit my ankle right through the sock.  Still it is a worth while trip that I would recommend, but take along a better bug spray.

was very sparse.  Many they are not through with it yet (I hope so)

EL RATO REGRESSA (THE RAT RETURNS)

In my posting on The Rat in the Dryer, I stated that it was the first rat I had seen (dead or alive) anywhere in Puerto Vallarta.  The rat in my dryer was of course quite dead having gone through the vent fan in my dryer.  Well now I have seen a live one.  

As I also stated it is amazing since we live surrounded by a jungle and there is garbage on every other corner.  This is the most disgusting thing about living here.  Yes, all trash is supposed to be in plastic bags, but not everyone does.  Plus, animals will chew at it and the homeless rip the bags open to get to the aluminum cans to sell them.  Much smaller cities have dumpsters, but not here.  I am sure some how the mayor makes money off of the collection.  We used to have garbage collection every evening, but recently our Brilliant Mayor decided (as a cost cutting measure) to eliminate Sunday pick up.  Maybe he thinks that tourists will find garbage rotting for two days in the hot sun is "charming".  This is the same "brilliant" mayor who tripled the port fees.  Cruise ships that used to spend two days here, now only spend eight hours.  Think of the loss of income from all the passengers.  I could go on for pages, but this posting is about Rats (pun intended)

For months after the experience with the chewed up rat in my dryer, I approached it very carefully and banged on the sides before starting it.  Eventually I forgot about it.  Then one day I pulled the bag of laundry soap off the shelf and was about to pull out a big scoop, when I noticed rat turds in it.  I looked up at the shelf and found it too had rat turds all over it.  After banging very hard on the dryer, I put out four of those sticky traps for mice.  The last time all they caught were a few geckos.  A gecko is a small lizard with suction cup feet that walk all over our walls and ceilings.  They are cute little things, but they also poop everywhere.

This time I placed pieces of raw bacon in the center of four sticky  traps.  For a few days nothing (not even a gecko).  Then I noticed that two of the traps were gone, and the bacon was missing from the other two traps.  I can't see how the rat could have carried them off, but maybe a cat or other animal or more likely a bird.  My deck always have black birds on and around it.  At any point the traps were gone, so I knew I had to come up with something else.  Before I had a chance to figure it out, I was going up to the deck and at the top of the stairs was a large black rat.  I screamed, he scurried off.  He was not only twice the size, of the dead one, and the black coat gave him an even more menacing look.   I immediately started keeping the door to the deck shut.

I finally found a place that sold better mouse traps.  They are not the ones we are used to with the spring trap on the little wood board.  These were cages with trap doors.  They could easily hold any small animal.  Well, I loaded the spring trap with lots of bacon and left it between the washer and the dryer.  I had already cleaned off all the other rat turds from the shelf and around my laundry.  At first I wondered how he could have reached the shelf, then noticed the hole in the wall for the plumbing from the water tank on my neighbors patio.  The hole is right above the shelf and there is a huge tree that overhangs their patio.  The rat could have dropped off the tree then crawled through the wall. 

Every day I checked the trap, but nothing !  I also check for other rat turds, but no more have appeared.  Maybe I scared him more than he scared me.  He could not have reached the shelf or the hole in the wall, but there is a rain gutter at the end of my deck that extends to my neighbor.  I have no idea where he actually came from or where he went, but very happy he is gone.  I also thought what would I do, if he got stuck in the trap.  He would still be alive.  I guess I could just keep him as a pet until he starved to death.  But so far I have not been faced with that dilemma.  Stay tuned !  The trap is still set with bait.

p.s   The photo of the bell tower has nothing to do with this story, I just thought it was a prettier picture than the one of the rat trap.


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