LA MUERTE DE UNA RATA

For my long time readers, you will remember the "Rat in the Dryer" and "The Return of the Rat".  Well, I have another rat story.  A few morning ago as I was waiting for my morning coffee, I noticed what looked like scraps of tomato rind on my tile.  The night before I had cut up a tomato to make a sandwich, but I used a cutting board.  How could the tomato rind have wound up over by the window?  Could I have been that sloppy? (Of course there is the possibility that I was drunk at the time)  Well, I had to sit down with my coffee and cigarette and wake up before I figured it out.

Then I thought "Didn't I have an extra tomato there?"  I keep any fruit that needs to further ripen on my counter top instead of the refrigerator.  At any rate I needed to go to my local produce store.  My friend Nancy shops every day at the open market and  berates me for paying too much at my local little store.  Yes, the open market is less expensive and there is a much larger selection as it covers a whole city block, but it is 4 or 5 blocks away, while my little store is only one block away. As I have told you, I am very lazy.  To put it in further perspective, you should know what it cost.  I bought 3 tomatoes

, a couple of red bell peppers, a bunch of banana, a carrot, some celery and a large papaya.  The total was 37 pesos (about $2,50)  So what would I have saved 25 cents??

Back home I placed the papaya and tomato on the counter under the window.  The following morning half of one tomato had been eaten by something.  A rat would be a logical conclusion, but I sweep and mop my own floors and have never seen a rat turd (and I know what a rat turd looks like).  What I do have are dropping (shit) from geckos.  They are cute tiny lizards who crawl all over the walls and across the ceiling.  They also eat insects, so no one bothers then here, but they do get into everything leaving their calling cards (shit).

Well, something had to be done, so I brought down the rat trap I had purchased a year ago that never caught a thing.  I cleaned it up, placed the half tomato and some bacon inside (Someone told me rats love bacon)   I placed it in the open window.  That window is never closed.  I used to have a problem with cats crawling in for there was a corrugated tin roof just below the window from an old abandoned house.  The rood collapsed two years ago and no cats since.  I thought nothing would be able to reach the window, but today I noticed that there is a small narrow ledge just below the window from where the  roof used to connect with my wall.  What ever it was I was hoping it would fit into my rat trap.  We have a very strange animal that looks like a furry opossum or an enormous rat that I have spotted crawling along the brick wall about 20 feet away from me


The next morning  while waking up and waiting for my coffee I notice that indeed I did have a rat in my trap. He was not as big or black as the one that scared me half to death a year ago, but nasty looking.  He was frantically trying to break through to metal cage.  I moved him off my window ledge and carried him to my balcony.  Now, what to do??  There was still a lot of food in there so it could take a week for him to stave to death.  I was not about to let him go, so "how to kill him".  I thought of calling my "ant man" who sprays my apartment every six months to see if he could gas him to death.  But I really did not want to pay 200 pesos just to kill him.  I got out some Raid and covered him with it.  He foolishly tried to lick it off.  Within 30 minutes he had calmed down and looked like he was going to take a nap (a long one I hoped).  But he recovered, so I sprayed him again, and again.

Now you may think that all this is very cruel, but what were my options.  I could put the whole trap in a plastic bag, but we do not have trash bins.  I have to drop him on the corner.  The homeless go through the bags and I couldn't take the chance on his getting out.  Of course I could carry him down the street and dump him someone else's backyard, but that didn't seem like a good idea anyway.  I then thought of another option.  I could drop the cage in a bucket of water.  But frankly if I was offered the options of dying by drowning or poison, I would take the poison.  But after spraying him and waiting for him to die all day long, I decided to put him out of his misery.  I filled a bucket of water and dropped him in.  I don't think he suffered too long but just to make sure I left him up there and took a nap (heartless bastard that I am).

When I went back up to the terrace for my evening cocktail, he was indeed dead.  Now all I had to do was to dump him in a plastic bag and leave him at the corner.  But I decided to let it wait until morning.  Once I start my evening cocktails I do not want to spoil the glow with a rat disposal.  I even thought of leaving the corpse up there as a warning to his relatives.  But that seemed too disgusting even to me.  I ignored him until the next day.  Now I do not want you to think that we are over run with rats here.  In five years  I have encountered three rats (outside or inside).  The dozen stray cats living in the jungle behind me probably keeps the rat population down.  Maybe this rat crawled up my wall to get away from the cats.  BIG MISTAKE !!




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UN DIA A LA PLAYA

It had been several weeks since I had made it to the beach.  It has been very hot and humid early this year.  My place is just five blocks to the beach, but the beach club I like is more like 14 to 15 blocks.  I never felt up to the long walk  (I never take cabs).  Plus, we have had some overcast days (a blessing) and some rain (though not enough),  So when friends of mine said they were driving to the beach, I asked to ride along.

We arrived early and the beach looked strange.  First there was almost no one on the beach although were a lot of boys surfing in the water.  Several of the restaurants and bars looked like they were not open.  You could see that during the night the water had reached all the way to the building.   The usual beach chairs and umbrellas were missing.  Upon arriving at our favorite, the waiter immediately came out and asked where we would like him to set up our tables and chairs.  We picked a spot about mid way to the water.  Then he brought umbrellas and carefully placed them so some of us got sun and some were in the shade.

It happened to be the voting day.  Forever Mexico has had a law that states that no alcohol may be sold or served from midnight Friday until midnight Sunday (the voting booths close at 7;00 Sunday night, so go figure).  But we were informed that at 4:30 on Saturday the law had been amended so that if food was served they could serve alcoholic beverages.  It seems that some of the expensive "all inclusive hotels" had complained.  Mexican Nationals tend to avoid these hotels so probably no one staying there could vote anyway. Someone said that the law actually stated that you had to have food in front of you in order to be served a drink (would a bowl of pretzels qualify?)   No matter, most laws in Mexico are ignored anyway.

A hurricane was supposed to have hit us several days earlier, but it went out to sea and passed us by.  We did not even get a sprinkle of rain out of it.  I have been told that the high waves occur a few days after a hurricane has passed.  This was no scientist who told me, but after living in a hurricane prone area for a few years, I have noticed that the high waves do come later.  The fifteen foot waves were a big attraction to the surfers that day.

Talk on the beach was also about the damage done to the Malecon the night before.  Now the Malecon is the most famous and popular street in Vallarta.  Several years ago, it was completely torn up and rebuilt with more pedestrian space and lots of planters with lush tropical plants.  For reasons known only to the Mexicans it was built several feet lower to the water.  It really is quite beautiful with dozens of bronze statues.  The remodeling included  replacement of the statues and they were all illuminated.  Shortly after it was installed someone sat on one of the statues during a light rain and was electrocuted.  They are no longer lit.  Then just a few months ago new lighting was installed above and in the sidewalk in front of many of the palm trees.  So far no one has been electrocuted.  We do not know yet what the storm did to these lights.  The photo included of the Malecon was sent to me and shows pieces of the wall broken up on the sidewalk.

Well we were happily seated and drinks were served.  I always order ice tea even though it is twice the price of a bottle of beer (no idea why).  I had just lit my first cigarette and settled into my chair when the owner came over and told us that we might have to move as a large wave was approaching.  Planning on just lifting up my feet, I leaned over to grab onto my sandals when suddenly I was underwater.  Everything including me was flowing out to sea.  Beach boys came from everywhere grabbing tables chairs and umbrellas. Maybe some one shouted "Save the Gringos !!"  They managed to grab my towel, glasses and beach bag, but my shirt was a lost cause.  The wave had traveled 20 or 30 feet and came right up to the restaurant.  There is a little wood deck in front and so they brought out regular chairs and tables for us.  They also replaced my ice tea at no charge.  I have no idea if they were able to reclaim my glass tumbler.  My cigarettes and lighter were also lost.  After that huge wave, the water receded back to where it was, but we all decided that none of us wanted to go back onto the sand so we stayed on the little deck.  Also our towels were soaking wet and covered in sand.

My friend lost both his shirt and shorts.  (For reasons known only to him he always strips down to a speedo).  Since he had no clothes he decided that we could not go anywhere else for lunch, so we might as well have it there.  I walked up and down the beach to look at other damage,  The restaurant next door had a sunken bar with no drain and they were busy bailing water out.  Dozens of palapas tops were scattered about the beach and I noticed one of them floating in the water.  There are a couple of pools where water and sand had washed over them.  It was an interesting day at the beach, but not what I expected or wanted.  Maybe next week.  By the way, all the photos were borrowed.  If I had taken my camera, it too would have been lost.  One has to wonder what would it be like if a hurricane actually hit us, since this one did not even come close.  The last direct hit was in 2001.  One thing I am sure of, I would avoid the beach for a few days.  

MAS PROBLEMOS CON AGUA

You may think that you have read this story before.  You would not be entirely wrong as the same thing has happened to me before.  This time there were a few new twists to the story so I decided to write it anyway.  Well, that and the fact that nothing of any interest has happened to me recently (for me this is the good news).  One evening (as is my usual) I am having a cocktail (or two) up on my terrace while listening to the beautiful singing from the choir at the church across the street.  Then a large black bird dived into my water tank.  NOT AGAIN !!  The only ladder I have is a short one so by standing precariously on the top rung and stretching up all I can do his touch my finger to the rim.  Sure enough there is no top on it.  The next morning I called Saul.

The first time it happened the lid was on my neighbors deck, Saul retrieved it but told me that the tank was full of leaves and bugs, it had to be cleaned out.  First the water was shut off at the street and then we drained the tank.  It took hours, then he needed a scoop to get stuff out of the water and then a towel to clean the inside.  He insisted that the lid could not blow off for it screws on tight, but it did.  So this time when I called him, he said that he was busy but would be there at noon the following day.  It was after 4:00 when he arrived.  This is Mexico.  Saul is the most honest trust worthy Mexican I know (and he is cheap) but he is not good about time.  When he arrived he said all four of his ladders where somewhere else.  Mine was of no use, so he said he would borrow one.  He was gone about half an hour and arrived with one just a foot taller than mine with the two lower rungs broken.  He could still not see the neighbors deck.  He said he would return the following day with a taller ladder.  It was two days later and almost dark.  He could see no lid so he when around to corner to the neighbors front door and found them home.

These are the second neighbors I have had since I lived here.  I have seen them maybe two or three times.  They are never home.  There are almost never any lights on at night.  I was told that they are two young Mexican boys who disco till dawn and sleep all day.  Fine with me, as I never hear a sound from them.  It is like living next to an empty apartment.  The owners nephew who lives on the other side of me told me that they are always late on their rent and he is sure they are moving out, but months later they are still there.  Not my problem.  Anyway when Saul returned he had the lid which the boys had taken inside their apartment.  Why?? were they going to try to pawn it?  They had to know it belonged on my tank.  Saul questioned them about how it could come off and they said that it must have been a friend of mine..  Sure!  First of all I have no ladder to reach it.  It was now so dark and we still had to drain the tank so he said he would come back later.

While all this is happening (and going back about one month) I was also having trouble getting my drinking water delivered.  Jesus my first guy was great always showing up shortly after I called him, but he quit to work for Coca Cola who owns the Ciel drinking water company.  Next was Alfonso, but he also quit,, then Jorge but he quit, and finally Ismael.  I asked the taco people to watch out for the Ciel truck, but nothing.  I asked my coffee lady and she said she had the same problem and just hailed them when one passed by.  I just happened to mention to David who runs my gym (the smiling Adonis, I call him)  To my amazement he called me later that day and said that a truck was on the way.  I asked for the guys cell number but as near as I could understand, he does not work my street.  Two weeks later I had the same problem.  There are never any Ciel trucks on my street anymore.  Now on the whole block counting both sides of the street there are only three Mexican families and myself who live here.  Maybe they never order water.  After all it costs 25 pesos for delivery and for 22 pesos you can buy a bottle at the tienda and carry it home.  I cannot.  After mentioning this problem at El Sofa cafe a couple whose name I could not remembered said that he would carry the bottle for me, and he did.  Thank God for the kindness of strangers.  But the problem is yet unsolved. The next time I ran out, I happened to notice the guy driving a scooter with an attached little cart with water bottles.  He was shouting "Agua !"  I screamed from my balcony, he stopped and I signaled two bottles.  They were only 20 pesos each.  Although the water is in a Ciel bottle, the sealed plastic top is not there, instead a piece of plastic tape is wrapped around it.  Where does this water come from, and is it really filtered water?  I decided not to think about it and so far I am okay.

When Saul returned to clean out the tank he kept yelling down that there was something else in the tank, but I could not understand him.  Finally he carried down a handful of peanuts.  PEANUTS !! I am allergic to peanuts.  Is someone trying to kill me ??  Even more puzzling is who knew I was allergic to peanuts?  I had never had the occasion to tell Saul.  I have never spoken to my neighbors and why would they want to kill me?  They cannot even afford the apartment they have.  The only person that for sure knows of my allergic is my best friend here.  I know he gets upset with me from time to time, but it would be a stretch to assume he broke into my apartment carrying a tall ladder, climbed up the roof, ripped the lid off and threw peanuts in it.  REALLY??  Of course it is possible that a bird picked up some peanuts (they are sold on every other corner) flew to my tank and stood on the rim while cracking the peanuts.  Like Mexico it remains a puzzle surrounded by mystery and wrapped up in an enigma   (that is not an exact quote, but you get the message).

MEXICO Y RUDIO (NOISE)

Mexicans love noise.  Bars play the music so loud that you can hear it  blocks away.  It makes conversation inside almost impossible.  Cars drive by with speakers blasting away.  Trucks go up and down the streets with megahorns attached to the hoods.  They sell everything from tacos, to fruit to natural gas.  All screaming a the top of their lungs.   The men shout when they speak, and the women scream.  There are many street musicians as well.  The mariachis stay down on the Malecon and Olas Altos.  Sometimes only a drummer and a guy with a trumpet or tuba,  They make enough noise that is sounds like a full band coming up the street. But nothing compares with the noise during the Festival of Santa Cruz.

It occurs each year around May 3rd.  In my last posting on the church, I said that it went on for a week before and a few days afterward.  That turned out not to be true.  It lasted for over three weeks, blocking off three blocks of my street.  Neighbors and businesses were outraged.  At the following district meeting they complained about the length of the festival and asked the Mayor (El Presidente here) what happened to the money.  All the rides and stalls along the street said that they paid 10,000 pesos to be there.  The treasurer got up and said, she never received a dime.  The mayor refused to explain.  He has since resigned and we are about to have another election for Mayor.  With all the fuss over last year, we were sure it would not happen again.  Wrong!!  Who is getting the money this year, no one will ever know.

At first there were far fewer kiddy rides and food booths.  As the week progressed, more rides arrived each night.   Why they have to assemble them in the middle of the night, I do not know, but they do.  It was just the beginning of all the noise.   I do not really mind the screams and yells of the little kids, but then they are drowned out by all the other noises.   The one car ride that has an awful siren and horn sound, Luckily it is at the other end of the street.  What really set me off was the performance platform installed under my bedroom balcony.  Last year it was located in the next block.  That noise was bad enough, but this is almost intolerable.

They have installed a huge dance platform and speakers that are the size of a small automobile.   When no group is performing, they have Mexican radio station on.  The bass literally shakes the entire building.   To my amazement and horror,  they installed two even larger speakers at the other end of the street for another ride.  You have the constant drum, drum drum and stomping of the dancing troops while the music at the other end of the block continues.  Of course we have bells all week and they have started up the cannon.  It is not really a cannon (as it was in the old days) but a rocket that is launched to explode in the air.   Previously a man had to crawl out of the second story window to stand on the roof to set off the rockets.  Last year they built an extension to a class room on the second floor, turned a window into a door and built a stair case to get to the roof.  It was very nicely finished off in a Mission style with yet another bell.

I learned that all the dancers are from schools around the area, but someone pays for all the platforms, lights and sound equipment.  When they set it up under my balcony, I wonder how where they would set up the chairs for the audience.   Well, they put them in the middle of the intersection, of course.   They always block off the cross street for the final bonfire and fireworks, but this is insane.  Not only does it disturb all traffic, but that street is a bus  route.  Since every other street is one way, I do not know where the buses go now.  Maybe they just charge up the wrong way on the next street.  After all it is Mexico and here, no one gets in the way of the buses.  They know they are bigger and they will run right over you.  Although the dancers and singers are not really professional, some were really good.  All of them had fantastic costumes.   On the final day, the stage was set up like an altar and the church choir sang.  They are good enough to perform at the Performing Arts Theater.  All year I will sit up on my deck and listen to the choir.

Then in the middle of the festival, we had a little  "dust up" with the local drug cartel.  The state of Jalisco (which covers Guadalajara to Puerto Vallarta) arrested a major drug lord.  The cartel was pissed and declared war on Jalisco.  They bombed banks and gas stations (why those two, we do not know)  Since it was a Holiday all the businesses were closed, so no one was hurt or injured.  They also set fire to some police cars (most of this in Guadalajara).  Now, before you say "I told you so !"  It was not as bad as Fuergeson  or  Baltimore, and I would rather live here.

 

 Still it did unnerve some people and some bars closed that night.  My friend Filiipe was to bring his wife and kid over that night.  He called and said they were staying home and he thought that the festival might shut down as well.

No such luck. It ran past midnight that night.  As I thought about it, all the drug dealers here are "Good Catholics" so this was probably the safest place in town.  In a day things calmed down, I guessed that drug cartel thought they had made their point.   No, it wasn't that.  The drug lord somehow "escaped" from the Guadalajara jail.  Who knew ??   On the last night I invited a group of friends over for pizza to watch the fire works.  They were even more  spectacular.  It was the fortieth year for the church, so they went all out. A structure over four stories tall is erected in front of the church.  It is covered with fireworks displays that went on for a good half hour.  For the finale, the top blows off into the air and  fireworks rained down on us for several more minutes directly overhead.  During this display all of the bells on the church are ringing.  It was something.

It was after 1:00am before I got to bed, but got up at my usual early hour and almost everything was gone.  I was so tired I did not even hear the noise.  I plan on going to bed early tonight.

MUCHOS FIESTAS

The winter or "High Season" is when most of the people I know spend time in Puerto Vallarta.  Some were here only for a few days, some stay for a month or more.  So far none has used my guest bedroom, but I have been busy.  My social scene is normally pretty limited so I am not used to the constant dinners and parties.  Two of my new friends that I met at bridge spend almost six months  here and entertain the entire time they are here.  I have been fortunate to attend many of their dinners over the years, but last year missed their biggest party (a costume party)  because I was out of town  

Although it follows Mardi Gras they say it has nothing to do with Mardi Gras, it is just an excuse for another party.  Mardi Gras here by the way, is nothing like Rio or New Orleans.  Very few people dress up and the parade consists of cars and pick up trucks decorated with balloons.  It has always been in the Romantic Zone and mostly sponsored by the LGBT group.  A few years ago, the mayor (who always makes stupid decisions), decided he wanted it on the Malecon and he wanted it to be more "family friendly"  Mardi Gras ??? Really ??  Anyway the parade continued but it does start on the Malecon and winds up at the pier in Zona Romatica.

At first I had no idea what to do for a costume, then I saw my El Sofa coffee lady dress up as a witch for Holloween.  I asked if I could borrow her costume and she agreed to do my make up.  The make up took an hour.  She wanted to add a false nose and chin, but I declined as I knew it would be too uncomfortable to wear it all evening (especially while eating dinner).  Still, no one recognized me at first.  Yes, the costume was more appropriate for Holloween than Mardi Gras, but it was still a good costume.

The home where the party took place is in Los Gaviotos where they are nothing but mansions on large lots.  A few years ago they purchased the lot behind them for an extension of their already large beautiful garden.  I happened to be at a dinner party (a sit down for 20 people) just after they purchased the property.     They had cut an oval hole in their wall where you could see just a vacant lot with weeds.  Not more than two or three months later, I was again invited and to my amazement the garden was complete with full grown trees and vines climbing up and over eight foot walls.


They had set up eight or nine tables for eight in the garden on each side of a center fountain..  At the back of the new garden is a cabana where the bar was set up and opposite it is a full kitchen (behind their orchid garden).  The photos of me were taken in my apartment, but I took the camera to document the party.  After just a few shots, the batteries died.  It happens all the time here because of the heat and humidity.  So I have very few photos to show you.  By the way, I won a prize for my costume, but have no idea why (maybe for the ugliest drag).  There was so much noise with all the people I could not hear anything until suddenly I heard my name being called out.  It was a very fun party.  I have no idea what costume I will come up with next year.


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VUELVO AT YAPLAPA (RETURN TO YALAPA)

An old friend of mine was spending a week here in Vallarta and I told him that a trip to Yalapa was a "must".  It is a tiny little village with no roads or cars.  The only way to reach it is by boat, so it has remained pretty primitive and very much like Vallarta was fifty years ago (before Huston and the Burtons arrived),  It had been over two years since I had visited myself, so it you have been following me for several years, you may remember my last blog.

As I mentioned before, the boat trip is half the fun of going there.  The reason I know it was more than two years ago is because at the time you had to wade out to the water taxi.  The pier had not yet been rebuilt.  Just before the pier is a little stand where they sell tickets.   The new pier is one of the landmarks of Vallarta that the city did a good job on.  The "sail" theme is also repeated along the Malecon.  At night it is illuminated with a series of colored lights.  The street leading to the pier has now been made into a pedestrian mall.  Unfortunately the city did not do a good job on landscaping the street, but maybe in time it will improve.

 A round trip is 280 pesos (or about  $20.00).  This time we were able to leave from the pier but getting in and out of the boat is still treacherous.   For reasons only explained by (It's Mexico !) everyone is handed a life jacket on the way over, but not on the way back. (in fact the boat did not even contain any lifesaver vests).   Unfortunately this time we saw no whales or dolphins.  There had been a recent tropical storm so maybe that is why they were not there.  We passed "Los Arcos" or three large rocks with tunnels through them.  At low tide the boats will go through the tunnel, but no this time.

Depending on who is board, the water taxi sometimes makes stops at Boca de Tomatlan and Las Animas.  Yalapa is on a little bay with ancient piers at each end.  This time we were dropped off at the South pier which made the hike to the waterfall easier.  Sometimes they simply beach the water taxi on the sand and you have to wade off the boat.  Again there is no explanation for why: it just is.  We started with the short climb up to the waterfall.  The paths (they are not really streets) are now concrete and cobblestones (much better than the dirt and mud of former days).  It is a pretty water fall, although nothing spectacular.  There is another larger fall further up the mountain, but I have been told it is over an hour climb and not well marked (nothing is here).

After the falls we circled the town giving us great views of the bay.  Like almost all towns along the coast, it was founded at the mouth of a river (which usually opens into a small bay).  Due to almost constant sand bars, a small lake has formed.  When pressure builds up the lake and water will break through the sand bar forcing you to wade across the stream.  I have been there went it was almost waist deep and very treacherous.  Today  it was less than knee deep.  There are also lots of iguanas in Yalapa.  This one is a pet that a guy carries around on his shoulder.  If he sees you taking a picture, he will demand 100 pesos, so I took this photo when he wasn't looking.

There really is no "town", just a few shops and many restaurants.  All of them have tables and chairs set onto the sand.  We had a nice lunch watching the waves and kids playing in the water.  If one where so inclined, there are stables behind the restaurants where you can rent a horse (or maybe a donkey)  Other than that, there is nothing to do in Yalapa, just to chill out and enjoy the view.   It would be a great place to smoke weed (but then, I already have too many vices).   The ride back seemed a little faster, but it did travel close to the shore.  The waves crashing on rocks creates a tableau of deep blue, aqua and white.  On both trips we were on the wrong side of the boat to get a good picture, but I did the best I could (not being a good photographer, or an writer for that matter).  It is a trip I would advise anyone visiting here to take.



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UNA OTRA FIESTA DE COCTEL

Once  year I throw a big Cocktail Party (my one contribution to P.V social life).  It is however greatly anticipated as I have been told that my parties are the Best!  This year I gave it later than usual in order to avoid the rain that plagued my last party.  It is also necessary that I try to plan it when most of my "snow bird" friends are in town.

I have several rules about giving a good party.  It always starts with the guest list.  They should be  an assortment of types and ages, but must be compatible.  My main rule is to invite twice as many people as I have chairs, that way you wind up with a standing party.  People are forced to move about and talk to more people.  Since I only have a total 17 seats, that is not a problem as I know over 100 people in town.  I try to limit the guest list to 50 as my apartment is rather small.  My large deck covers the overflow.

Although I make it clear that it is "cocktails, not dinner",  I always have plenty of food.  My local coffee cafe lady makes wonderful small thin crust pizzas.  Then a nearby Mexican restaurant makes a super platter of bite size Mexican food (tacos, burritos, and small quesadillas).  Then I will make up platters of meat and cheese.  My good friend Hector makes the best guacamole in the world and brings me a big bowl of it.  I also have dips, cheese, nuts etc.

This year I wound up inviting almost 60 people, but I knew that from years past about 15% will not show up (especially the new people as they do not know how great my parties really are).  of  course a few guests will enter dragging two or three people behind them that I do not know (and often they are people I do not want to know).  An exception was a very tall very attractive lady who must have arrived while I was upstairs.  I never did find out who brought her, but I liked her and she added to the party.  Maybe she just wandered in off the street, but she did not look the type.

My apartment is always relatively clean, but for a big party I gave it an extra scrubbing.  I want everything to sparkle.  Windows, glass and mirrors, as well as all the black wrought iron and the furniture gets polished.  By the day of my party, I was already exhausted,  then the lever in the toilet broke.  I could have called Saul, but would you want a plumber in your house hours before a party? Besides, you never know for sure when he will show up.  So, I wired it back together with some nylon cord.  It flushed, but you had to hold the handle down.  It also spits at you.  I was a little worried, then thought that having only one toilet with 50 people may be more of a problem than a semi flushing, spitting toilet.

My bartender for the past four years arrived early with a kid named Jesus.  My first party I had Alex help out.  He was great  but broke his leg.  Then I had Francisco, but he moved to Mexico City.  So I asked Filipe and he suggested a part time bartender from Fridas that I had never met. He was terrific and everyone liked him.  He served food, got drinks, filled wine glasses, and picked up discarded glasses and emptied ash trays.  I of course kept running up and down the stairs making sure everyone had what ever they needed and making sure everyone had someone to talk to.  It went very well and again everyone told me what a wonderful party it was.  Before the party started, I took out my camera and checked the batteries. I left it on the bar in front of Filipe.  I never thought of it again, so once again I have almost no photos.  Luckily Hector had taken a picture on the guacamole he brought.

After four hours people started to leave.  I could not wait to lock the doors as I was about to drop. Towards the end of the party one lady asked if she could lie down for a while before going home.  She does not own a car, so she wasn't driving.  What could be so challenging about hailing a cab?  Anyway I showed her to the guest room.  After finally putting out the last guest and surveying the disaster that was my floor, I noticed that the guest bedroom door was still closed.  Sure enough there she was (not just on top of the comforter, but in the bed),  For a moment I thought about letting her sleep but decided against it.  Morning was going to be difficult enough for me without having to cope with Sleeping Beauty with a hangover.  She left.

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