MEXICO AND COMPUTERS UGH!!

By now you know that my knowledge of computers is minuscule (plus, I am really dumb).  What I do know is that one cannot live today without a computer, especially if you are living in a foreign country.  Make that country Mexico and the problems multiply.  You cannot do much on a computer without internet and in Mexico, it is sort of hit or miss.  Sometimes it goes out completely.  Normally just for a few hours except when I had that fight with Telecable over my bill and I was without internet for days.  Even when you do have it, it is sometimes too light a signal, so when I am using my Magic Jack for international calls you sometimes get every other word, or it just dies mid sentence.

I need a computer for communication with the outside world, both email and my Magic Jack phone.  It is also essential financially.  I check my  accounts, move funds, pay bills and of course there is my blog (my baby).  It started as a means for friends of mine around  to keep up with what and how I was doing in Mexico.  To my amazement, I have picked up readers all over the world.  Who ever you are in Brazil, Alaska, and Russia that reads this stuff, I would appreciate it if you would send me a message.  My email address is lagunalary@aol.com .  I really did not know how I could survive without a computer.  I was about to find out.

The past few weeks have been hot.  We are still waiting for the heavy rains.  One day last week, I used the computer in the morning working on  a still unfinished blog.  Some take me a month;  this one I will knock out in a few days.  I had bridge that day and suddenly had to shower and leave for bridge.  I forgot and left the computer on.  Elvis happened to stop by (forgetting that it was my bridge day),  I thought I would be home shortly, but bridge went on, and on, and on.  He wound up waiting an hour for me to get home.  By the time he left, I just had time to change to go out to dinner with Patty.  We finished dinner late and she came by here for one more glass of wine (maybe two).  By the time she left I was really drunk, but did have the presence of mind to shut off the computer.  It has been on in a very hot room for 14 to 15 hours.

The following morning I tried to turn it back on, but just got a black screen.  I left it running hoping something would pop up later.  When I got back to it, it was really hot and still a black screen.  I unplugged it and put it near a window on its side to cool it off.  When that did not work, I stuck it in the refrigerator (not very long, really)  Still nothing.  I called a friend of mine and he said maybe I needed a new fan underneath (mine died a long time ago) and to get some compressed air to clean the vents.  But I decided to take it immediately to the computer store who fixed it the last time it overheated (last summer).  The shop is about 12 blocks away and when I got there the steel door had been raised about a foot off the sidewalk and a fan was set under it.  I yelled, but no one answered.  There were three numbers on the door to call in case it was closed.  No one answered the first two numbers and someone's mother answered the third number.  In her broken English, I got the impression that her son was at school, but she would call him and have him get back to me.  I went across the street to one of my favorite restaurants that I seldom visit because it is so far from my home.  I had just seated myself in a lovely patio of trees and flowers and ordered an ice tea (while still studying the menu).  My phone rang and it was the computer guy who told me to go back across the street and yell under the door or  just bang on the door as someone sleeps in the back.

Finally a tall bald American man appeared and said, ¨´Yes, What do you want¨"  I explained my  problem to which he said he knew nothing about computers, but the computer guy usually arrives between 10 and 12.  It was now 11:00.  I told him I would be across the street having lunch and would try later.  By that time the door was fully open and another American was seated at a desk,  He said that he too knew nothing about computers, but "Cheynne" should be there between 1:00 and 3:00.  I left my number and asked that he call me.  In the meanwhile I took the bus to Office Depot and bought a new fan and a can of that compressed air.  I tried both and turned the computer back on and sure enough I had a screen.  I was thrilled for about 15 minutes and then it died again.  I tried the spray can (no one told me that you have to give one squirt in the air to get rid of the water before turning it on the computer), so some water did go through the vents.  The computer guy did call and say he would be there the following day sometime between 10:00 and 12:00.

It remained dead.   The following morning I called to explain that I would be there a little after noon as I had a Spanish class at 11:00.  Sure enough he was there.  He asked it I had taken the back off yet.  My first thought was to say "Are you crazy?"  but instead just answered NO!  He played with it for a while and pronounced that it looked like the video card was fried.  He could fix it, but it would cost almost as much as a new computer and would still be an old damaged machine.  He gave me a list of what I needed for a new computer and then told me "Do not get Windows 8,  you must find an old Windows 7",  He said that if the mother board was still intact, he could transfer all my information and systems to a flash drive and install it in my new computer.  He wanted 250 pesos for the flash drive, but said if I gave him my old computer he would not charge for the transfer.  He sounded like a deal to me.

My friend had just purchased a brand new car a few days earlier and I was pretty sure he would be out tooling around in it.  I called and asked if he would be anywhere near a Wal Mart or an Office Depot.  He said they were just on their way to Costco and would pick me up on the way.  We went first to Costco.  I was shocked to find that they were not buying anything but a hot dog and a pizza (One of the little luxuries of having a car, I guess).  .Costco had no Windows 7 computers and neither did Office Depot.  Walmart had two models with Windows 7. (I never did find out if Windows 8 is a bad system, or if it was not compatible with my old one).

 You would think an old model would be on sale, but no, instead they were offering a gift of some sort of electronic device.  I had no idea what it was and knew I would never figure out how to use it, so I offered it to my friend who drove me there.  I selected what I thought was the better of the two and the girl wrote something down on a pink pad and told me to pay at the cashier.  Armed with the receipt, the girl left for the back of the store.  We waited at least 45 minutes for her to return.  She had to find a guard with a key to get to the warehouse (Was it in Guadalajara?).  My friend dropped me back at the computer store.  No one answered any of the three numbers, but it was still open and I left it with the tall bald guy who lives there.

To my amazement the kid (he is just 17) called to say it was ready before 11:00 the next morning..  What I did not realize is that he wanted another 800 pesos to "format" it.  Nothing to do but pay it.  When I got it home, I first had to get my internet to recognize the computer.  It wanted a security code.  If I ever had one, I did not remember.  I called Telecable and for all the awful (but true) things I have said about them, I got an English speaking person within 5 minutes.  He told me to type "1" twenty six times as the security code (Is that dumb or what!).  At that point my computer wanted me to register myself.  I struggled with it for half an hour and also realized that I had no icon for AOL or Magic Jack.  I called the kid, but no answer, so I called another computer guy who was recommended to me.  He spoke perfect English and said he would have someone there in ten minutes (maybe 20).  Unfortunately the guy he sent spoke a little English consisted of "HELLO,  how are YOU"  I tried to explain my problem (he had to check with his boss) and finally I got my AOL (in English) and Magic Jack (or so I thought).  Another 300 pesos and he was gone.  By that time I was sick of the whole scenario and decided to go to a bar and get very drunk.

The next morning I turned it on and decided it was time to check email and my Magic Jack messages.  I then discovered that I had no sound.  I suddenly realized that the computer had never utter a word.  No tune when you turn in on and no "You've got Mail!!"  I knew enough to check the speakers and had them at high volume.  It also had a mute, but it was off.  I called the first kid and he had no idea and said I would have to bring in down to him.  Twelve blocks each way in the hot sun!  It seems that if you press function and F10 it mutes the entire computer.  Who knew??  Happily I took it home, but when I connected Magic Jack I found that the phone still had no sound.  I found "menu" and got to the sound controls and finally I can hear on my phone.

It will be a while before I figure out this Mexican key board.  It has an extra letter "ñ" and the punctuation marks are in strange places.  Some are under letters and instead of the capital key, you use a special key marked "Alt Gr" (who knows?)  There may be errors in the postings, but then none of them are perfect.  Besides all the hassle and trips to the computer shop, it is the cost that really upset me, but it could have been worse.  What if I had lost everything on my old computer.  Not only photos, but I have about 600 pages of two unfinished (and as yet unpublished) novels.  I had Carbonite that is supposed to save all your information, but none of the computer guys here seemed to know anything about it.  If Pamela is still reading my blog (she tried to teach me all about computers over 20 years ago) she will not be surprised to learn that decades later computers are just as confusing and frustrating to me as they ever were.

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MEXICAN MEDICINE

The first question people ask of me when they hear (to their horror) that I actually live full time in Mexico is,
"What do you do about medical problems?"  You may be surprised to hear my answer,  "It is wonderful. but the problem is you have to pay for it yourself".  Luckily it is cheap compared to the United States (all medicine is cheap compared to the United States!).  Without divulging much about my personal life (you may have noted that I do not!),  I will say that I have had the occasion to visit a hospital here a couple of times.

Let me begin by talking about the Mexicans or Nationals as they are called here.   For the most part, they do not trust doctors or hospitals and if possible, will self mediate.  There may even be witch doctors or shamans here.  You can't go two blocks in Puerto Vallarta without passing some sort of pharmacy.  There are three kinds.  We have the ones that dispense prescriptions drugs (with no prescriptions necessary), and the Farmacias Similares that sell sort of unauthorized generic drugs  or maybe just similar in chemical compounds but produced in kitchens.  They are much cheaper.  You can buy a Viagra like pill for about $2.00 (or so I have been told, I really would not know!)   Most popular with the Nationals are the homeopathic pharmacies. They sell herbs, lotions and concoctions that have been used here for centuries (maybe even thousands of years).   Although most of my Mexican friends swear by them, I have so far stuck to the drugs I know (and I know a lot of them!).

The doctors are wonderful and all I have met speak perfect English.  There is a woman here in Puerto Vallarta by the name of Pamela  who disperses medical advice by email.  She will answer medical questions or can refer you to a doctor or hospital.  She knows every English speaking doctor here and will even make the appointment for you and email you a map to their office.  This is of no cost to you.  Now she may get a kick back or referral fee from the doctor or hospital, but it is free to us. She has recommended a dermatologist, podiatrist and a heart doctor to me.  All were excellent and quite reasonable.  I had three skin cancers removed and one had to be cut out and sent to a lab for analysis.  I had to go back for the results and to have stitches removed and I think the total bill was about $100.00.  I think Pamela may have first sent me to Dr. Lupita at the hospital a few blocks away, but then everyone I know goes to her, so maybe someone else did.  She is so good she is authorized or approved by several medical insurance companies in the U.S. (just not by mine = more on that later)   She is my regular doctor for "whatever":.

The hospitals are as clean, orderly and neat as any you will find anywhere.  In fact my hospital room (yes I did spend a few days there) was as nice as any I have been in.  It was a large private room with a large window with a nice view, a T.V., dresser, a few chairs and a large tile bathroom.  Nurses were on call in less than a minute and most spoke some English.  They were all very kind and extremely accommodating.  Of course once I was up and wandering the halls I found that there was only one other patient on my floor.

After my first visit to emergency, I discovered the "Clinicas"  They are always next to a small pharmacy.  You just walk in to the pharmacy, make an appointment and go next door and sit in a chair until someone comes out and calls you.  Sometimes I am the first one there and sometimes there will be six to ten people waiting (I walk on and come back later).  My first visit there was when someone told me about the vitamin B shots they got there.  Vitamin B is supposed to give you energy and strength and when I was worn out by one of my moves, I stopped by.   The shot cost 20 pesos (maybe $1.50).  You have to buy the medication and I think a weeks worth of shots might have been $30 or $40.00.   Many such medications come already in disposable syringes.   At first I thought I needed my FM3 card (or residency card) but since then no one has ever asked for it.  I thought that they must be government sponsored, but I was told that they are privately funded.  Whatever, it is nice for us "poor people".

Mexican Nationals who is gainfully employed are also covered by a sort of Medicare program (except they have no co-pay).  They do have very powerful unions here that promote most of these programs.  If the National is not employed (farmers, poor people, etc) they can still get medical help by other government financed clinicls.  The medical service is pretty bad there I am told.  They have to wait for hours and usually there are no specialist and sometimes they don't have the necessary medication.

You may recall my bad fall a couple of years ago went I was first taken to Emergency ("Fear of Falling"), well I wound back up in emergency last November.  I was hospitalized for five days.  No surgery and other than pain killers, no costly drugs (that I know of) but I was on an IV.  When I was finally told I could go back home, I wondered about the bill.  I gave them the information on my insurance in the U.S.  Yes, I am definitely old enough for Medicare, but I elected to go with an HMO (with smaller co-pays)   They did ask me for a  down payment of 20,000 pesos.  I never saw the final bill from the hospital, nor did I see one from the two doctors that attended me.


The nice lady who handles payments, was very helpful and rather attractive.  His name is Esmarelda (a pretty name too).  She contacted my insurance company and at first was told that everything could be handled by email.  she said she would take care of it.   This turned out not to be true.  She called me back into her office for my insurance company was now telling her that they would only deal directly with me.  They would not only accept a claim by email, but had forms that they would only mail to my address in the U.S.  This took about two weeks.  I had Donna pick them up and she had to UPS them to me.  This took another week.  Esmarelda filled out the forms (with some help from me) and submitted the claim. We were told it would take four to six weeks.  They admitted receiving the claim on January 11th  and for months there was no action at all.  Finally they did contact me to ask for copies of all the tests the hospital had performed (I do not know why the hospital did not send them before).  Luckily I had already forwarded them to my primary care doctor in the States.  Then they needed proof of the payment I had made so I scanned my bank statement and sent that off.

Nothing happened and no one would return my calls.  Finally I got through and found that they had settled it and the checks had been sent to my address in the U.S.  I sent Donna off again and she found two checks, but no explanation of how much they allowed nor any mention of the money I had already paid the hospital.  I knew how much they sent in dollars, I just did not know what I owed in pesos, so I was off to see Esmarelad again.  All this took five months.  I was shocked at the bill they expected me to pay.  It was far higher than I had expected and much less than what the insurance company sent me.  Esmarelda set up a meeting with the hospital administrator.  After going over all the charges, the major bill was from the specialist who did finally come to the emergency room and then saw me each day I was in the hospital.  His bill was more than I would have expected in the U.S.  We went round and round and then I said,  " Look, I would like to settle this now, but if you prefer, you can work with my insurance company for another six months"  That is when he said that he thought they could settle for the amount the insurance company sent.  They does leave me stuck with the 20,000 pesos that I already paid (four months rent for me!)

The "specialist" had way over charged (maybe because I was an American, maybe because I had insurance).  He finally agreed to lower the bill somewhat (I will not be gong back to him).  Dr. Lupita who stopped by every day to see me never submitted a bill at all.  We agreed to an amount in pesos, but it still left me stuck with the 20,000 pesos.  Maybe I should have haggled longer, maybe I should have just stone walled them and refused to pay.  What could they do to me?  Well, maybe a lot since I am a guest in a foreign country.  I have to look on the bright side.  At least my insurance company did pay most of it.


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IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE

Behind my building is a block wide vacant lot.  There are the remains of what must have been a couple of small brick or adobe houses, but no one lives there except the cats.  Many people here complain about the roosters that crow at dawn every morning.  If there ever were chickens out there, the cats long ago took care of them.  Of course  with those G.D. bells, who would notice a rooster.    If you ignore all the junk that has been dumped in the lot (including an old truck), all you see is a jungle of trees and vines.  Once the summer rains start, it will be much prettier as the rain washes all the dust away.  I kind of like it because it means no neighbors. It also affords me a clear view of the mountains.  A strange jungle vine crawled up the wall  from three stories below that I have trained  across the beam on my cabana.  It is growing out of a crack in concrete.  Since it has not rained since October, I have no idea how it lives at all, but I am hoping it will have some kind of flower on it before it dies.

There are a couple of huge mango trees, a couple of lime trees  and some papaya trees as well.  Unfortunately the area is completely walled in by ten foot brick walls. so I can't get to the fruit.    There are iron gates at each end which would open on to the two streets, but they are always locked.  One day I saw two kids somehow wiggle through the wrought iron gates into the property.  One climbed the mango tree which must be 40 feet tall and either ;picked and threw down the fruit, or just knocked if off the branches.  
  It is all owned by the Rizo family who own my building as well as huge blocks of land all over the South Side (south of the River Caule).  Rumor has it that they are property poor.  They either won't sell, or ask too much money for the land.  Some of it may be tied up in legal battles, as my apartment is actually owned by a woman who has been dead for ten years.

You may recall my story of the cat who ate my coffee cake from a few months ago.  Now that summer is coming I have started leaving  the guest bedroom window open for the cool breezes that waft down from the mountains.  Yes, I am occasionally visited by one of the cats.  I have not seen him (or her) but I periodically have to clean the dirty paw prints off the wall below the window.  I could just close my door and turn on the air conditioning, but I am trying to keep my electric bill low.  It has been running about 250 pesos a month (about $20.00) as opposed to the 7,000 bill I got at my previous apartment.  Only a small animal could crawl through the wrought iron grill and the cats don't seem to do any damage anyway.

One night I got up to pee.  I leave a small night light plugged in so in my sleep (or drunken condition) I don't miss the ten inch step going into my bathroom.  I suddenly became aware of something black and large just a few inches from my toe.  Slowly I backed up and switched on the lights.  There was a hairy spider almost as large as my hand.  People have told me that it is not a tarantula, but it is a very scary looking creature.  It too must have crawled in through the open window.    I carefully removed one sandal and tried to swat it.  I could not believe how fast it could climb up the tile wall.  Then as I continued to swat at it, I found that it could also jump.

If I hadn't been half asleep, maybe I would have been too cautious to continue going after it.  But then on the other hand I do not think I could have slept knowing that thing was crawling around in my apartment.  I finally got it, but not before grabbing my camera and getting a picture to it.  I also carried in my yard stick to show how big it was.  After knocking it down and crunching it again with my sandal, I got some bug spray and finished him off.  Oddly, I went right back to sleep, leaving the carcass to be carried out the following morning. 

I have previously commented on how surprised I am, at the lack of insects here.  Now I know that we not only have iguanas here eating them, but huge spiders as well.  Yes, the window is still open  Perhaps I like living dangerously.  It seems that all my life I have tempted fate, but I am still here!


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LA PARROQUIA DE LA SANTA CRUZ

As Mexican churches go, this one has to be the ugliest that I have ever seen.  It looks more like a fire station  house or a warehouse than a church, other than the fairly attractive Italianate bell tower.   Who knows what the architect had in mind, or maybe it really was a fire house and they just added the tower to it.  The interior looks more like a regular Mexican church with all the plaster sculpture along the walls, but even the alter is very plain.  You have to picture it without all the flowers that were brought in just for the celebration.

Every church in Mexico has its own patron saint.  My church's saint is Santa Cruz  (who ever that may be) and is celebrated the first week of May (and what a celebration it is).  About a week before, each morning I would find more carnival like kids rides being dropped on my street.  Eventually the whole street was closed to traffic.  It is a really Big Deal here (much to my chagrin and discomfort).  It must have a large following for the church is packed to overflowing for each service every day (or maybe they are all the same people).   They have celebrations all year (when those G.D. bells clang away), one was at 3:00 in the morning.  I have no idea what it was about either.  Sometimes there is a wedding.  Only at very big wedding do they ring all the bells (it must depend on how much money they give the priest).

It started on a Friday night when I heard Indians drums beating.  There was a group of people dressed in feathers and capes doing some sort of a dance outside the cathedral doors.  Then they all marched in.  What the Indian dancers had to do with the saint will remain another mystery.  The next time a larger group lined up out side chanting and all carrying flowers.  Then the Indians came back and did their dance before the service every night (lots of drums and noise).  The Catholic Church in Mexico is a mixture of pagan rituals and superstitions.

  Every night for seven days, the carnival rides were open.  Directly below my balcony was the Ferris wheel.   I actually enjoyed watching the kids on the dozen or so rides, even though many of them scream a lot.  What really bothered me (other than the bells and cannon blast) was the loud speaker blasting away directly at my bedroom.  I think they are supposed to cut it off at 11:00 at night, but they do not (sleeping pills help a lot).  I was amused by the cotton candy man.  He had what looked like a round barbeque with a gas jet in the center.  Some how strings of candy are blown up through it.  He just holds a stick over the hole and in a minute it is a big stick of cotton candy.  Of course what misses the stick is just blown up into the air.  You can just grab a piece, if you are so inclined.

The big day was the 3rd of May (I think the saint's birthday) which occurred on the following Friday.  There were huge crowds in the streets and four blocks in both directions were blocked off.  In front of the church they set up a strange looking edifice that looked like it was made of steel and bamboo.  Later that night is sudden rose to a height of three stories.  It was the fire works display.  I invited two friends over to watch it and my what a night it was.  All the bells going and the cannon blasts.  Booths had bee n set up for blocks selling trinkets or food.  (That is my friend Filipe in front of the food court).   Also lots of little stands were set up for different types of gambling (no one cares here).  We waited forever and finally some time after 11:00 at night they started the fireworks.  The tower was rigged with spinning wheels that were set off one at a time.  Then it finally reached to top and Roman candles went off into the sky.  Sorry, but with my camera all I got was a big white blur for the final bust of fire. 

The sparks and fire fell back into the crowds and actually ignited some dead vines growing on the roof of the restaurant across from the church.  Bells, cannon blasts and rockets went on for a long time.  It was nice being able to watch it all from three stories above the streets.  The kids loved it.  One night my favorite bar tender (and very good friend) Filipe, brought over his little boy.  He is only 18 months old and quite a handful for the mother (whom Filipe never married).  Another couple came with them and she too was pregnant, and unmarried.  They often never marry the mothers of their children. Although I must say that Filipe is a wonderful father.  He is also just an all around good guy.  He has been a great help to me ever since I moved here.  He helped with all my moves and handles things like translating with government agencies and utility companies.    After little Ian had his fill of the rides they all came up for some beers.   I am glad they were not here for the final night because the crowds were so huge and I think all the noise would have frightened little Ian.

The morning after the big night I awoke to find all the rides were gone.  I guess it is easier to move them in the middle of the night with less traffic.  Shortly a man arrived and swept up all the debris and you would never have known anything had gone on.  It was entertaining, but if it went on all month, I would have to move.  As it is I only have to put up with the constant bell ringing.  A half hour before each service the bells ring 22 times. then fifteen minutes later 24 bells, and finally at the beginning of the service 26 bells.  Do not ask why so many bells, no one knows.  Much of Mexico is a mystery (maybe that is why I find living here so interesting). 



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SEMANA SANTA

Semana Santa is probably the biggest vacation week in Mexico (at least for the coastal towns).  Mexicans flee the inland areas by the thousands for a week at the ocean.  They arrive mostly in pickup trucks with sometimes a dozen or more riding in the truck bed.  Some will even sleep on the beach or dozens will bunk down in one small hotel room.  For the young people it is sort of like Easter Week in The States (get very drunk and party, party, party).  Mostly it is the whole family.  The sand is a sea of brown bodies and colorful umbrellas for as far as the eye can see.   Local residents will normally stay home and avoid the mobs.  Even if you stay indoors you will hear them.  Cars and trucks drive up and down the streets blasting music, singing and hanging out of the car windows with cans of beer..

Of course it is also a very religious week  The bells have been ringing all week.  After a while you get sort of used to the church bells, but not the cannons.  When that thing blasts away, you will drop everything in your hands.  Some one told me that the cannons are to frighten away evil spirits and that is why they blow them off during Holidays.  Who know?  Mexican religion is a mix of Catholic, pagan, and a lot of superstitions. 
 Not only are there a lot of services in the churches, but you also have the enactment of the last days of Christ.  Beginning on Palm Sunday, you will find palm fronds everywhere.  Some people carry whole palm leaves, but most will buy little handmade things of palm leaves, like the ones entering the church.  Somewhere Christ will arrive on a donkey while people throw palm leaves in front of his procession.  I tried all day to find out where it was to take a picture.  No one I talked to seemed to know where the pageant was taking place, so I missed it.

Next day I asked my lady at the coffee shop.  She called somebody (maybe a church) and told me that it would continue on Good Friday from 10:00 to 11:00 starting at the other end of the Malecon.  I arrived early and noticed that little placards had been put up for each of the "stations of the cross"  Ten o'clock came and went and then finally I saw the Roman soldiers on horse back arriving.  Sure enough a bloody Christ was in the middle of the throng being savagely flayed.  Behind Christ were the Jewish rabbis demanding that he be put to death.  Then came all the followers, crying Marys and a few angels.  Each stop took much too long while all they did was to beat up on Jesus.

By 11:00 they had not even reached station V, so I parked myself on the terrace of a lovely cantina overlooking the Malecon.   I knew it would end at Plaza Cardenas which was at least a mile away, so I ordered a cerveca.  Jesus was having a worse day, but I knew I could not last without a little stop.  When the procession reached the amphitheater, I thought things would get more interesting, but NO!  It was just more flogging (although one of his followers was now helping to carry the cross).

After that, I walked ahead to one of my coffee houses at the Plaza Cardenas, and had time for a snack before the procession reached me.  Just as they were approaching the amphitheater, they stripped Jesus of his robe where the soldiers fought over it,.  I thought they could have chosen a slimmer Christ (I don't remember seeing a fat Jesus before). They finally strapped him to the cross (they don't really nail him to it)  By the time they hoisted him up for all to jeer at, I had been basically standing in the sun for three hours.  After he dies on the cross they take him down (the Marys do something with the body).  Then they place him on a placard and carry him out of the Plaza and up the street.  But, I saw that last year and decided I had had enough of Christ for one day.  Sorry about the photos, but it was very hard to fight through the crowds to get a good photo. 


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TELECABLE CONFUSION

In Puerto Vallarta, you actually have several choices for internet access.  I chose Telecable for they have a T.V. / Internet package.  TelMex is supposed to have a more reliable internet service, but you have to put in a land line and I did not want or need another phone.  TelMex is also owned by Carlos Slims (reputed to be the richest man in the world) who controls most of the communications in Mexico.  I did not want to make him richer.    Also Telecable has the most stations in English (if you can find them).  They do not publish any kind of T.V. guide in English or Spanish, so you have to just channel surf to find your favorite programs.  It is the most expensive utility that I have.  The bill runs about forty some dollars, which is almost  as much as all my other utility bills combined.

I was already used to Telecable when I rented this apartment.  In retrospect, I should have done the six month to one year prepaid plan.  But I had just prepaid my rent and decided to go on a month to month, but I gave them one of my credit cards so they could debit my account each month.  The Telecable office is a 20 to 30 minute bus ride and the bus does not go by it, so you have to know where to get off and walk several blocks.

About two months later, I had no internet access.  At first I thought it was just one of the many Mexican problems with internet.  After a few days, I was getting desperate.  A friend of mine told me he had the number of a Telecable service employee who was quite reliable and spoke some English.  He was here within an hour of when I called.  He played with the computer for a while, made a few calls, and then told me that the problem was that I had not paid the bill.  I told him that I had given them my credit card to debit.  He said the charge was rejected by my bank.  THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE, I said.  (Well, not in Mexico).  I was able to reach my bank in the U.S. and found that they had submitted the charge with the wrong expiration date.

I had the guy call Telecable back and tell them the correct date.  He did, and the charge went through.  Silly me, I thought the problem was solved.  NO!  Next month it went out again.  I called the same guy and sure enough, it was the same problem.  Once more I gave them the correct date and told them to make the necessary changes.  NO!  Same thing next month.  I called the guy again and asked if I should go to the office.  When he called the head office, they said that the problem was not with them, but with Guadalajara for they made the monthly charges.  Was there no way to fix this?  Apparently not.

The following month without bothering the poor guy when the internet went out again,  I took the bus to the office and demanded that they do something so I did not have to go through this every month.  The lady sort of shrugged as if to say,  "You are dealing with Mexico here, the problem is hopeless".  She suggested that I come every month with cash.  I told her that first, I did not want to take the bus there every month and since they send no bill.  I don't know when it is due, or how much is due.  She told me that I have to check their web site and put in my contract number and my account will appear.  "Why can't I pay it one line then?"  She said I could.  WHAT! WAIT!  I have been fighting this for six months and no one told me I could pay it on the net (assuming it is working).

Without waiting a month, I went to check it out.  Not easily done.  It took me sometime to find the correct site for bill paying.  Of course everything is in Spanish.  When I tried to enter my account number I found that I must register with them.   There were about a dozen questions.  I answered what I could figure out, but that was not good enough. My application was rejected.  There was however what appeared to be a comment box.  Knowing it would do no good I typed (in English) my frustration with trying to pay on line.  The most amazing thing happened!  A few days later I call a call from Telecable from a woman who spoke very good English (with a heavy accent, however).  She walked me through the entire process.  Will wonders never cease here in Mexico!

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WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT COCKS

First, let me assure you that I have never attended a cock fight, nor will I ever.  I find the whole idea to be abhorrent and disgusting.  I knew they did occur in Mexico, but really knew nothing about them.  About six months ago my friend Elvis' older brother became quite interested and traveled to Mexico City to pick up two of them at a cost of $500.00 if you can believe.  Oddly enough he is a veterinarian and owns five clinics.
 Since then Elvis has gone to several of the meets (or whatever they call them)  Apparently a lot of money is exchanged and it can cost 1,000 to 5,000 pesos just to enter your cock.  He became quite fascinated with cock fighting.

One night Elvis asked me what I knew about farms in Alabama.  I knew enough to know that I would not go near one and had a very dim opinion of Alabama.  Then is realized he was talking about farms that raised and sold cocks.  We still have a huge communication problem.  His brother told him that Alabama had the best cocks in the world.  He was very interested in getting to know more about cocks and asked me to do a computer search.  (You do know that we are talking about chickens, don't you?  GOOD!)

Well as I am typing away doing a Google search, I could not help but wonder what new wonderful spam mail would I be receiving.  I managed to find Red Fox Farms.  I guess the biggest and best cocks anywhere.  They had a very nice web site with pictures of them.  I had no idea they were so beautiful.  Some are blue and green, mixed with red and yellow.   I also learned that a pullet is a hen and a stag is a rooster,  Okay, I was a city boy and know nothing about farm animals.   The price was about half what they cost in Mexico.  While the site gave a list of "most asked questions".  Elvis wanted to know about the cost of shipping to Mexico and what, if any problems would there be with Mexican customs.  I tried to email the farm, but it would not accept my email address.  A box popped up that said I had to register my email address with them.

Some thing told me that I did not want to be registered with an Alabama Cock Farm, so I agreed to call them the following day.  One thing I was sure about;  I was not about to have them delivered to my door.  Nor would I go to Mexican customs to claim ten fighting cocks.  The next day, I reached a very sweet lady at the cock farm and told her why I was calling.  I also tried to make it clear that the cocks were not for me.  So, I was secretly pleased when she told me that they could not sends birds for fighting purposes over the state line.  I figured that most of the county would have bans against cock fighting, with the exception of a few "red neck" states in The South.  She said they could only send them in pairs "for the purpose of breeding them".  What a relief, I thought.

That night I tried to explained to Elvis the problem of shipping fighting cocks in the U.S.  I thought he would be very disappointed.  NO!  His face lit up and he was quite excited about the prospect.  He immediately called his brother and while I have no idea what the conversation was about I could tell by Elvis' animation that they were both very excited about it.  When he was off the phone,   I asked if he understood that he had to order a hen with each cock.   Did he plan on breeding them and raising the little chicks?  I asked what he expected to do with the hens.  He said,  "We will eat them!"  That would certainly be the most expensive chicken dinner anyone had ever had.

The next day, he had a new plan.  He had a friend at the border in Tijuana that "might" be able to sneak them across the border.  This certainly signaled danger in my view and I once again had to explain that the problem was that fighting cocks cannot be sent across the Alabama border so there was no way to get them to California.  He did not want to give up. Fortunately, his brother proved to have the cooler head and put the kibosh on the whole plan.  He did not want the hens and had no desire to raise chicks.  What a relief, I thought.  Can't wait to hear his next plan.


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