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Friday, August 28, 2015

YO ESTOY MUY ESTUPIDO

For those of you who have followed my blog for the past five years, you are well aware that I am not the smartest person you ever encountered (especially when it comes to anything electronic or mechanical).  In my defense; unlike the youth today, I did not grow up with an iPhone or a Bluetooth (what ever that is) growing out of my ear.  Computers were not even invented (or in common use) before I was middle aged.

Living in a foreign country makes using a computer an absolute necessity.  I struggle with it as best I can.  However I am also cursed with a short attention span and get extremely frustrated when I cannot solve a problem in ten or fifteen minutes.  I just give up.  Also I am the only gringo I know who does not own a "smart phone".  Figuring I am too stupid so I use a dumb phone.  Even that drives me crazy sometimes.  Of course the fact that it responds in Spanish does not help much.  Adding to my frustration and problems is the internet in Mexico.

On my last trip to The States, I stayed with my lawyer who has a guest house.  He gave me a Sony Reader when he heard how many books I read down here (two or three a week).  He told me I could order books from Amazon that could be downloaded from my computer to the reader.  Well, I was not sure about the "downloading" but figured someone here would know how.  So the first thing I did was to go to Amazon.com.  To my amazement, I already had opened an account with them.  I think it was maybe 20 to 25  years ago, so I had no clue what I used for a password.  I clicked on the "forgot password".  Then wanted to be sure I was really me, so they asked me some questions.  What was my telephone number.  I know what it is now, but what was it then?  I had no clue.  So they asked what was the name of my first dog.  I failed that one as well (I had lots of dogs).  Then they stupidly asked the last four digits of the credit card I used.  Okay, S.S. number I can do, but would anyone know what there credit card number was 20 years ago?'  At that point they froze me out.  Okay, I cannot reopen my old account, so I will open a new one.  "NO"  you cannot open a new account under the same email.  I gave up.  It wasn't as if I wanted to draw money out of a savings account, I just wanted to buy some books.

As I said, internet access when you live in a foreign country is essential.  We now have several choices for service, but I use Telecable since it is also my cable TV.  From what I have heard from friends they are equally unreliable.  Sometimes it goes out completely.  Not only am I not able to do any email or searches, but I use MagicJack for communicating with the U.S. and Japan.  Even when it works it can be spotty so the computer is very slow and when I am on the phone to the States, sometimes you can only hear every other word.  The TV also goes off and even when it works, channels like CNN often freeze (usually on Anderson Coopers frowning face).  To complicate matters Telecable often changes the channels, so you have to search for them.  You can get a print out from Telecable, but if the channel is in English it will simply say "English Channel".  Is it 2, 4, 5, 7 or CNN??  You have to channel surf the find out and then they will switch them (for reasons known only to the Mexicans).  I heard that AT&T us coming to Mexico.  Now I had my only problems with AT&T when I was in The States, but it could be better than what we have.  Until recently Carlos Slim (one of the richest men in the world) controlled almost all telecommunications in Mexico.  He recently lost a Supreme Court case. (he must have paid off the wrong person).

The horribly hot and humid summer has kept me confined to my bedroom as it is the only air conditioned room I have.  Even the Mexicans have complained about the weather this summer.  By 4:00 or 5:00 the sun blasts into the glass sliding doors on my balcony that opens to the bedroom and living room.  I close the drapes and put on the air.  One afternoon last week, it did not cool the room like it should.  I called Saul (what ever would I do without him?)   I thought it must be out of Freon gas, but he said that was impossible.  He rushed over and checked my control.  Somehow I had pressed the "mode" button and changed it from cool to fan only.  Who knew it had a mode button?  I must have pressed the wrong button the night before when I tried to shut it off.

Each morning I check my email,  the dollar to the peso ratio, and the weather (some of the few things I do know how to do).  My mouse would not move the little arrow.  I have to replace the batteries all the time.  Our heat and humidity are awful on batteries so all the extra ones are kept in the refrigerator.  New batteries made no difference.  The little red light was on and flashing, but nothing happened.  Using that little plate on the computer is Not and option for me.  As it happened my tutor was coming over that day and he is great with computers so I decided to wait for him to figure it out.  He simple picked it up and said, "these things die all the time, just buy a new one".

We do have an Office Max and several other stores that carry such stuff, but all of them are across the river and about a 20 or 30 minutes bus ride.  You want to avoid buses here if at all possible and during the summer, they are unbearable.  My tutor said that any "cyber" store should carry them.  Such little stores are all over here.   I went to five on them with no luck.  Finally at the last store they had a mouse, but not wireless,  I have enough cords running around my desk and did not want to add another.  But I really needed one, so I decided to buy it and then later when I get my friends to take me shopping across the river, I can buy what I want.  It only cost about $8.00.

Once home, I opened the package.  Why do they seal things is that hard plastic??  Then I looked it over to see where to put in the batteries.  No luck so as a last resort I pulled out the instructions.  It was all in Spanish and there were no diagrams.  I had to go back to the cyber store and ask them how to open it for the batteries.  Have you already guessed the answer??  If not you are as dumb as I am.  Since it is not wireless, it does not need batteries.  I went back home and plugged it in.  Nothing!!  The little arrow did not move.  I called my friend Hector for his help.  He said he would come by later, but I might try shutting the computer down and restarting it before plugging in the new mouse.  Of course it worked fine after that.

I have gotten used to the extra cord and enjoy the fact that I do not have to keep buying AAA batteries.  Batteries are very expensive here and  it is illegal to bring batteries in your luggage.  Maybe it is a security thing (like bottles of 3 oz). or maybe Mexico just does not want them imported.  Anyway I am happily typing away on my computer and waiting for the next crisis.

P:S:  The butterfly has noting to do with this story, I just thought it was a pretty picture.   I had just taken it so it was on the group I downloaded.  These large yellow and black butterflies have arrived recently here and seem to love my new red plant.


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