ABONO DE BORREGO (SHEEP SHIT)

My annual cocktail party was just a little over a month away, so I started doing some stuff around the house.  I did some touch up painting, bleached the grout in my tile counters and walls and arranged for Saul to clean and service my four ceiling fans.  But the most important visual affect for my party is my garden.  I wanted it to look its best.  A some point all guests will make their way up to the terrace.

My hibiscus had never done well.  I constantly fought bugs and disease and I was losing the battle with at least one of them.  It was not going to recover and its twin  was looking funny and dropping all its bud before they opened.  I decided to replace both of them.  Oddly enough, the yellow hibiscus is my oldest plant (other than some palms) and it is still doing fine in the same pot.  It is also in front of the air conditioning unit and gets blasts of hot air all summer (who knows?)   Filipe agreed to take me to the nursery to see what I could find.  But first I wanted to stop at Walmart to pick up some potting soil.  At the nursery what they sell as soil is just dirt.  They say it has compost in it, but really it is mostly some (hopefully) dead devil grass and other weeds.  When the pot dries out it is like an adobe brick with little or no nutrition for the plant.

I could not find what I have previously purchased but there were large white bags of something that said "abono".  I asked Filipe what it meant and he said it was the same as dirt.  Great I will buy that. Then it was off to the nursery.  I was not about to try more hibiscus and hated my two bougainvilleas. The blooms are practically airborne when they fall off.  The blossoms blow across my patio and down the staircase and into my kitchen.  I already have nine palm trees and wanted a blooming bush of some kind. The crown of thorns does very well and blooms all year, but I already had four of them.  I spotted a pink thing that might do.  I already had a red version in that blue pot, and since I got the right spray it had done very well.  The plant comes in red, yellow and pink and is used all over the city.  I was told to go to El Dragon (no idea) and buy a spray.there.  It sells mostly just chemicals.  The City regularly spray all the trees and public planting with something.  It is supposed to be for mosquitoes, but seems to kill everything. It may be DDT for all I know.  Yes, I know that DDT has been banned all over the world for over 50 years, but This is Mexico!

I did not want to buy the whole bottle until I tried it, so he poured a some amount in a spray bottle and filled it with water.  He told me to shake well before spraying.  It worked extremely well (maybe DDT?)  But apparently I did not shake it enough.  As the liquid got to the bottom of the bottle and I sprayed the plant, and it fried it.  The buds and leaves turned brown and fell off.  But it recovered.  So I bought a whole bottle and now shake it very well.  I bought the two pink ones and a canvas bag of soil.  Filipe carried it all up the two flights of stairs for me and dumped it.  After he left I decided to inspect the bags of ¨"abono".  I noticed it said something about using two cups.  TWO CUPS?  Then I read on and it said something about avoiding getting in your eyes and to wash your hands immediately.  What the Hell was this stuff?  So I got out my dictionary.  Abono de Borrego is sheep shit!  (well, literally lamb, but it is still poop).  Filipe speaks good English, but as it often happens, something is lost in the translation.  He lives in a small two room apartment and I am sure, has never had a potted plant and probably had no idea what was potting soil.

Obviously I could not use the bags as extra soil to mix with the dirt.  I was afraid that I would not have enough soil to finish the potting.  I was not about to ask Filipe to go back for more dirt, or drive all the way to Home Depot where I knew they had good soil.  I already pay Filipe too much money for the trip and paid him even more this time.  He mentioned his little boy wanted an expensive toy for Christmas and he was going to have to buy it on time.  So, I thought, Hell, it is Christmas.  You may remember Filipe as the smiling muscle guy behind the bar at my last party.  He has a wife and kid that he supports on his tips from the bar, so I help him when I can.

I had also already arranged for Jorge to saddle soap all my leather and equipauli furniture and he could help me pot them.  I thought the only way was to get as much dirt off the discarded plants as possible.  I assumed after four years (and because of their poor performance) that they well all root bound.  I expected the plant to pull all the soil out.  No, Jorge managed to get the plant out with lots of soil left.  He is a good hard worker and cleaned up afterward by hosing down the deck.

So now I have two new pink things (I have no idea what they are called in English or Spanish).  Obviously they will not become big bushy plants in a month, but they look better than dead ones.  Must continue getting stuff done for the party.  Meanwhile deciding what to do with the other two bags of Sheep Shit !

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THE HOUSE GUEST (LA CASA DE HUESPEDES)

One of the reasons I took this apartment over three years ago, was because it had a guest room.  I thought that it would be perfect for some of my friends in California, and hopefully some of my friends in France.  But no one every has used the room.  Well, that is not exactly true.  You may remember my "sleeping beauty" who was left over from my last cocktail party.  Still not a real house guest.

Last year I met an attractive lady at my local bar.  She was quite intelligent and I enjoyed talking to her.  Eventually we went out to dinner.  After a few drinks I decided to ask her a question that had bothered me since I met her.  "why"  I asked would a classy lady like you visit a toilet of a bar like my "favorite bar".  She told me that her first apartment was near the bar and she just started stopping in there.  Now she was writing a book about the bar and its clients.  That I thought would be a book I would love to read (wondering of course how I would be depicted).  She is still working on it and so far I have seen none of it.

After six months she returned to Canada.  We kept in touch via email and then she announced that she was returning and had taken an apartment just one block from me.  I had her over for drinks several times.  I love discussing politics and religion with her.  She was raised in the Anglican Church and became a deacon in the church, so it took me a while to tell her that I thought all religions are just plain dumb.  I am fascinated by the history of religion and how they all evolved, but think that basically they are just another business trying to take money from the populace.  One night she told me about her problems with a new neighbor in her building.   He stays up all night with the television blasting at full volume and then sleeps all day.  After a couple of sleepless nights she told him that he had to turn the television off after midnight.  He became very angry and irate.

She then complained to the land lord.  After he spoke to the guy, he really became angry and shouted obscenities at her and threatened to kill her, while pounding on her door.  In the meantime she learned that he had been thrown out of almost every bar in town.  My favorite bar tender threw him out and the guy came back and offered a 1,000 peso bribe, if he would serve him more liquor.  He refused. Finally it escalated to the point where she called the police.  He was arrested and put in jail.  For an angry man, a Mexican prison is not something that would improve his disposition.  At that point I told her that she could not stay in her apartment once he was released and suggested she move into my guest room.

Having lived alone for the past 17 years, it was an adjustment, especially since she was a woman.  I sleep in the nude, so the fist thing I did was to dig out an old robe out of my "travel drawer".  It was a wise move for the next morning I saw shocked when opening my bedroom door t see her seated at my dining table typing away on her computer.  Until I have my first two cups of coffee and my cigarettes, I am unconscious.  Conversation is not an option at that hour.  But she was very polite and neat (I noticed her bed was already made up).  She spends 10 hours a day writing.  She has written several books, mostly on politics.  But I am only interested on the one she is working on about my bar.  None of her books have made her much money, so she freelance writes for social media.  Companies hire her to create blogs, or just write favorable comments.  I use no social media at all, so I understand none of this.

Later that morning she went back to her apartment to speak to her landlord, knowing that the ogre would be sound asleep.  She demanded that they evict him.  The landlord told her that "Mexico is a noisy place" (very true) and they were not about to only select tenants that she approved of. Very typically, Mexican men are very macho and do not like being told what to do by a woman.   She was so mad, she started looking for another apartment-  Then she accidentally ran into her landlords at a taco stand..  He told her that she was right and had gotten into a fist fight with the man at 5:00 am that morning.  They had given him a week to move.  The guy said he had paid rent and had every right to be there and that my friend was the problem.  In Mexico you do not need a court order to remove a tenant.  You just go in while they are out, place all their stuff outside and change the locks, so the landlord was giving him more leeway than necessary.  Apparently the mad man was not that appreciative.  We continued to hear about other encounters where the man had become violent.  My bartender told me that when the guy is sober (which is rare) he appears and acts normal.  But once he starts drinking he becomes insane.

After she was here for a week, she moved to a girl friends apartment.  She felt she had stayed with me too long already (I did not protest).  Finally the man did move somewhere  (no one knows where). The landlord changed to locks in his door, her door, and the gate on the street.  He also promised to have an iron security gate added to her door.  A nice gesture, but it will probably never happen.

So far no one has seen him since, so maybe he moved to a new part of town.  I wonder how long before he is kicked out of more bars and evicted again.  The guy hates everything and everyone here.
One might ask, "Why is he still here,  why doesn't he go back home?"  He claims to live in France but is really half Italian and half Spanish (this may account for his disposition).  My friend thinks that maybe he cannot return home and that is why he is in Mexico.  She still is trying to get him deported, but so far nothing has happened.  Always a little excitement here.

My guest room is empty again and my life is back to its normal routine (of doing almost nothing).. I did enjoy our evening conversations over drinks or dinner.   My next house guest isn't due until next May.  He will be here for two weeks.  Hopefully less drama. We will see.

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ESPERA POR PÁTRICIA (WAITING FOR PATRICIA)

One could say a lot of bad things about living in Mexico (and I certainly have) but one thing  for sure, it is never  boring.  We always have a little excitement.  During the five years I have lived here, we have had a dozen hurricane warning, but usually nothing happened, but a little rain.  So when I heard that a hurricane was due to hit us the following day, I thought nothing about it.  The next morning, the warning were a little more dire.  The airport and all businesses were advised to close.  Not knowing that, I went off to the gym and found it closed.  I also noticed that nothing else was open.  On my way home, I did stop at my little tienda (that never closes) and picked up some stuff to make a few things to eat.

Hurricane Patricia was billed as the worst storm ever to hit the West Coast.  They predicted winds over 200 miles per hour and said it would drop at least 20 inches of rain.  Puerto Vallarta could be devastated as Cabo San Lucas was two years ago.  Last year was the best "season" in at least five years.  People who normally went to Cabo came here and no one goes to Acapulco anymore as it really is not safe.  Everyone had great hopes for this season, then suddenly it could all end.

When I got back, I received word that the electricity and water would be shut off at 2:00 in the afternoon.  It isn't supposed to hit until 5:00 or 6:00 so why 2:00.  Also, I can understand the electricity because of downed power lines, but why water?  It runs under the streets.  I decided to make up some food and do a little laundry.  I was waiting for the dryer to finish when suddenly it stopped.  At first I thought the lights had been turned off early.  No, the dryer just died!  This was not a good day to hang out laundry to dry.  Then my friend called and said to not only close and lock all window, but to cover them with blinds or drapes to prevent being hurt with flying glass from broken windows.  I peaked out and saw windows covered with plywood or crossed with tape.  Good God!!

I did pull in the furniture on my balcony, but nothing I could do about the furniture on the terrace.  Also with 30 potted plants, all I could do was to try to position them so the wind would do the least damage. I added more boulders to some of the taller plants.  I have nine palms and one rises three feet over an eight foot wall.  I took the plates and hanging ceramic stuff off the wall on the terrace.  I also put out a bucket to catch the rain water.  I have plenty of drinking water, but I wanted plenty of water to flush the toilets.  Luckily I had just purchased five large votive like candles for my party in January.  I placed them around the apartment so I could manage when the electricity went off.  Then I charged up my Sony Reader, so I had something to do and  poured myself a beer.

All the doors were bolted and the drapes closed.  I could not think of anything else I could do to prepare for the hurricane.   At 2:00 I stepped out side and was shocked at what I saw.  There were no moving cars or buses and not a sole.  What was really eerie, there was no noise.  It was absolutely silent.  As I have said before Mexico is a very noisy place.  I had never known it to be so quiet.  Even the church was closed.  Unlike The States were churches take in the homeless during a natural disaster,  here they lock the doors.  If you are not a paying parishioner, you are not welcome.  And of course the ever hateful Telecable cut off my TV cable and my internet.  With no TV and no internet, I had no way to learn where Patricia was, or when she was going to hit us.  Yes, I know, I know,  "If I had a smart phone"  Well I do not !!  So I waited.  It continued to sprinkle a little, but no wind.  Then I heard that it would not hit until nightfall (is that the same as sunset?)  Nothing happened.  The lights stayed on and so did the water.

I wondered where that story came from about cutting off the electricity and water.  You can not believe what you hear in Mexico.  What is passed on as absolute gospel is really just a rumor.  I have never known a town where rumor and gossip are so rampant (well, maybe Palm Springs). At 9.00 the rain got a little heavier.  I poured myself another drink and went up to my deck.  I love sitting there and listening to the rain on the roof of my palapa and watching the rain pour off the roof.  During a heavy rain, it is like sitting under a water fall.  I love it.  But tonight not that much rain and not a breeze.  With all my palms I can tell if there is any breeze at all.  Then about 10:00 a little wind come up (certainly not 200 miles an hour).  I thought,  "Well, here is comes"  Within 20 or 30 minutes the wind stopped and the rain went back to a drizzle.  I got tired of waiting for Patricia and went to bed.  The following morning, the streets were wet, but no puddles, then it started to rain and I thought "Okay, here is come".  No, the rain ceased.  I decided see if Telecable had restored my cable and sure enough, I got CNN news.  Patricia was now in Texas and causes very little damage there as well.  There was nothing on Mexico.  As my friend said, "Once CNN did not see and corpses floating in the water, they dropped the story.  Apparently it hit land in an almost uninhabited area south of us.  There isn't even a road south of Boca de Tomatlan.

Well, another disaster averted.  Now I must put my apartment back together. I unbolted the door to my terrace and decided I wasn't ready put all the plants and furniture back in place.  Also I noticed there was about three inches of water in my bucket.  A bucket is not a good rain gauge, but it sure wansn't anything near 20 inches.   But first I had to answer the 20 messages and half a dozen phone calls I got while my internet was out.  It seems I have spent my life trying to avoid another disaster, sometimes I win.  There are no photos as there was noting to photograph.

P.S.  Over a week after the hurricane that never happened, I had just cleaned my apartment.  I start with sweeping and hosing the terrace.  Then sweeping and mopping all the tile floors.  That night while lying in bed reading, a heavy wind came up.  It got so bad, I got up and closed the sliding glass door to my bedroom.  Later that night I went upstairs with my nightly glass of Scotch and it looked like someone had emptied a bag of trash on my stairs.  For some reason wind on my deck goes into a spin and throws all the trash down the stairs and into my kitchen.  Once arriving at my terrace, I found four palm trees had blown over and my lime tree.   One knocking a branch off my price crown of thorns and another knocking over my Boston fern and my maiden hair fern.  I decided there was nothing I could do that night, so I simple sat there and finished my Scotch.  As I said, I do not win all my battles.


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TELECABLE EL TERRIBLE

A friend of mine once wrote me that anyone who read my blog would never consider living in Mexico and might never want to even visit.  This was certainly not my intent, however this blog will certainly enforce that opinion.  There are many things that I enjoy about living in Mexico (it is warm and cheap).  Most all of the people are wonderful and I love sitting under a palapa at a table and chair just a few feet from the waves while sipping a pina colata or just getting drunk at one of my local bars, but this would not make for very interesting reading.  Frustration is much more fun to write about, so here goes another story about Telecable.  Why do I write so much about Telecable?  Well, because it is such a "fun" company to do business with (fun translating as frustrating)

One night the internet stopped working.  This happens frequently but usually cures itself in a few hours or maybe one day.  The second day it was still off so the following morning I called Telecable. Amazingly they answered on my first call.  I later learned this was a one in a thousand chance.  I had already decided it was the modem and told them I needed a new one.  The woman told me there would be a technician there by 3:00.  Knowing how unreliable these appointments are, I decided not to leave the house the entire day.  No one showed up, so by late afternoon I started calling again.  You get a recording telling you "push 1 for Spanish, push 2 for English.  Once you push 2 another message comes on and then it goes to  a series of recordings all in Spanish.  After a dozen calls I realized that they were asking me to leave my telephone number for a call back.  This I did at least 6 times.  Nothing!!  That night (while getting drunk at my local bar) I was telling everyone that I had had no internet for 3 days.  Everyone agreed that Telecable was terrible and suggested I just take the modem into the office and exchange it for another.  This I did early the next morning.  They not only claimed that they did not exchange modems at the office and did not even have any in the office (this I later found out to be a lie).  I thought about telling her that everyone at the bar said you could trade in the modems, but decided against it.    But it did make me ponder, why is it that drunks are always offering advise about things they know nothing about.

I told her that I needed a technician and had an order number for one.  She looked at me and said,  "But you only reported the problem 24 hours ago"  She had this incredulous look on her face like if you expected someone in 24 hours you are either insane or have not lived in Mexico for very long.  I told her that I was told someone would be there at 3:00 yesterday.  She said  "Well, they were wrong" I explain that I had to have an estimated time when they would arrive. Since I cannot hear the door bell if I am in my bedroom with the television on, I had to stay in my living room.  This also meant I could not use my air conditioning in my bedroom and the summer heat has returned.   After many protests she called someone and said they would be there at 10:00 the following morning.

This was good news as I had bridge that day.  All summer we have had a problem getting the minimum of eight people to play duplicate bridge.  Mid way through the tournament, my phone rang.  Now during the winter when all the heavy hitters are here I would not even dare answer it, but I was among friends, so I did.  Although the woman was speaking rapid Spanish I did determine that it was Telecable calling.  I handed the phone to someone who is bilingual and he told me that the technician was in front on my house.  Everyone agreed that I should run the one block back to my home, for they all knew what it was like to deal with Telecable.  The modem was still in the bag I had taken it in to the office.  I told him it was not working as the little lights were not flashing.  He (of course) decided to reassemble it only to discover I was correct.   Finally he sent his assistant out to get a new modem.  He attached it.  Then he made a few calls and then did something else with his Ipad and then sat back and stared at it.  I asked what was happening and he said it had to download and that could take 10 or 15 minutes.  I had 7 people waiting for me and told him that if he could assure me that this modem would work, he could leave.  I rushed back to bridge.

When I got home, I found that I still did not have internet.  I think I told you that without internet I have no communication with the outside world, as well as all the searches ones does.  Plus I do banking, pay bills and also play tournament bridge on the internet, so a week without it is a long time.  I made several more calls but got the same message (in Spanish) that they were busy.  By the way the recording also says "this conversation may be recorded for quality assurance".  I thought if I actually got a real person on this line they would definitively not want a recording of the conversation especially for "quality assurances"  Of course it might be used in a libel suit for slander, but they do not have such suits here.  Probably because one would be very hard pressed to think of something really horrible to say about Mexican businesses that would not actually be true.

The following day, I took the bus back to Telecable.   Finally I did get to speak to someone who said they would reboot the modem from the head quarters.  I said what if it does not work?  She promised me she would call in one hour.  She did not and it was not working,  so I took the bus back.  They did not care.  All the screaming and yelling I did, was to no avail.  There was nothing to do but go home and wait.  The next day a man did arrive and without touching the modem asked about my television.  I told him it still worked although poorly. He went through a few channels and pronounced that the problem was the cable and he left.  You would expect someone else to arrive, but after sitting in my living room until 8:00 at night I went back to the bar.  I waited all day long on Saturday and then noticed someone climbing the pole across the street.  I ran out and asked if they were Telecable.  They were and they were putting in a new line.  The next thing I noticed is that they were gone and I still had no internet.  Surely they would send someone to my home.


Sunday was a loss, but surely someone would come by on Monday.  No!  Luckily I do read a lot, but still I did not like having to spend a whole week siting in my living room without being able to leave ( and no air conditioning).  So I decided I needed some help and called my Spanish tutor and asked him to go with me the following day.  He showed up about ten minutes after our agreed time which is very good for Mexico.  We took the bus and I was hot and sweaty and in a very bad mood.  Ivan tried his best, but I could see that he was being stonewalled by the girl just like I was.  I had had enough.  I began screaming and pounding on the counter and refusing to leave or stop until I got some answers. Yes, everyone was staring at me, but I figured they were also Telecable clients, so I was sure they would understand.  Ivan plodded on in his very polite way.  I don't know whose act worked best but finally we were allowed to talk to someone in Guadalajara.  He promised he would call and give Ivan some instructions within one hour.  I had very little hope that anything would happen, but I chose Ivan for he used to have his own computer store and he knew what to say.

We went home, had a couple beers and believe it or not, the guy did call (not one hour later, but two hours later).  He had Ivan open their web site and do all sorts of stuff I do not understand.  I also got a new "password"  (did not know I needed one).  It began to come back, slowly at first but it got better.  The Guadalajara guy was very upset with what Ivan was telling him and took notes on the shoddy service. Will anything change  Not in Mexico.  I had planned on talking to TelMex about their internet service, but Ivan told me to wait for AT & T is supposed to have bought TelMex and they should be here in Puerto Vallarta soon.  Since TelMex works through a phone line, a new one would have to be installed.  About one year ago a branch on the tree across the street broke off in a storm and took the phone line with it.  It was never replaced and the broken line is still wrapped around the bottom of the telephone pole.

.  So we will see what TelMex has to say, but that will be a whole new story, I am sure.

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YO ESTOY MUY ESTUPIDO

For those of you who have followed my blog for the past five years, you are well aware that I am not the smartest person you ever encountered (especially when it comes to anything electronic or mechanical).  In my defense; unlike the youth today, I did not grow up with an iPhone or a Bluetooth (what ever that is) growing out of my ear.  Computers were not even invented (or in common use) before I was middle aged.

Living in a foreign country makes using a computer an absolute necessity.  I struggle with it as best I can.  However I am also cursed with a short attention span and get extremely frustrated when I cannot solve a problem in ten or fifteen minutes.  I just give up.  Also I am the only gringo I know who does not own a "smart phone".  Figuring I am too stupid so I use a dumb phone.  Even that drives me crazy sometimes.  Of course the fact that it responds in Spanish does not help much.  Adding to my frustration and problems is the internet in Mexico.

On my last trip to The States, I stayed with my lawyer who has a guest house.  He gave me a Sony Reader when he heard how many books I read down here (two or three a week).  He told me I could order books from Amazon that could be downloaded from my computer to the reader.  Well, I was not sure about the "downloading" but figured someone here would know how.  So the first thing I did was to go to Amazon.com.  To my amazement, I already had opened an account with them.  I think it was maybe 20 to 25  years ago, so I had no clue what I used for a password.  I clicked on the "forgot password".  Then wanted to be sure I was really me, so they asked me some questions.  What was my telephone number.  I know what it is now, but what was it then?  I had no clue.  So they asked what was the name of my first dog.  I failed that one as well (I had lots of dogs).  Then they stupidly asked the last four digits of the credit card I used.  Okay, S.S. number I can do, but would anyone know what there credit card number was 20 years ago?'  At that point they froze me out.  Okay, I cannot reopen my old account, so I will open a new one.  "NO"  you cannot open a new account under the same email.  I gave up.  It wasn't as if I wanted to draw money out of a savings account, I just wanted to buy some books.

As I said, internet access when you live in a foreign country is essential.  We now have several choices for service, but I use Telecable since it is also my cable TV.  From what I have heard from friends they are equally unreliable.  Sometimes it goes out completely.  Not only am I not able to do any email or searches, but I use MagicJack for communicating with the U.S. and Japan.  Even when it works it can be spotty so the computer is very slow and when I am on the phone to the States, sometimes you can only hear every other word.  The TV also goes off and even when it works, channels like CNN often freeze (usually on Anderson Coopers frowning face).  To complicate matters Telecable often changes the channels, so you have to search for them.  You can get a print out from Telecable, but if the channel is in English it will simply say "English Channel".  Is it 2, 4, 5, 7 or CNN??  You have to channel surf the find out and then they will switch them (for reasons known only to the Mexicans).  I heard that AT&T us coming to Mexico.  Now I had my only problems with AT&T when I was in The States, but it could be better than what we have.  Until recently Carlos Slim (one of the richest men in the world) controlled almost all telecommunications in Mexico.  He recently lost a Supreme Court case. (he must have paid off the wrong person).

The horribly hot and humid summer has kept me confined to my bedroom as it is the only air conditioned room I have.  Even the Mexicans have complained about the weather this summer.  By 4:00 or 5:00 the sun blasts into the glass sliding doors on my balcony that opens to the bedroom and living room.  I close the drapes and put on the air.  One afternoon last week, it did not cool the room like it should.  I called Saul (what ever would I do without him?)   I thought it must be out of Freon gas, but he said that was impossible.  He rushed over and checked my control.  Somehow I had pressed the "mode" button and changed it from cool to fan only.  Who knew it had a mode button?  I must have pressed the wrong button the night before when I tried to shut it off.

Each morning I check my email,  the dollar to the peso ratio, and the weather (some of the few things I do know how to do).  My mouse would not move the little arrow.  I have to replace the batteries all the time.  Our heat and humidity are awful on batteries so all the extra ones are kept in the refrigerator.  New batteries made no difference.  The little red light was on and flashing, but nothing happened.  Using that little plate on the computer is Not and option for me.  As it happened my tutor was coming over that day and he is great with computers so I decided to wait for him to figure it out.  He simple picked it up and said, "these things die all the time, just buy a new one".

We do have an Office Max and several other stores that carry such stuff, but all of them are across the river and about a 20 or 30 minutes bus ride.  You want to avoid buses here if at all possible and during the summer, they are unbearable.  My tutor said that any "cyber" store should carry them.  Such little stores are all over here.   I went to five on them with no luck.  Finally at the last store they had a mouse, but not wireless,  I have enough cords running around my desk and did not want to add another.  But I really needed one, so I decided to buy it and then later when I get my friends to take me shopping across the river, I can buy what I want.  It only cost about $8.00.

Once home, I opened the package.  Why do they seal things is that hard plastic??  Then I looked it over to see where to put in the batteries.  No luck so as a last resort I pulled out the instructions.  It was all in Spanish and there were no diagrams.  I had to go back to the cyber store and ask them how to open it for the batteries.  Have you already guessed the answer??  If not you are as dumb as I am.  Since it is not wireless, it does not need batteries.  I went back home and plugged it in.  Nothing!!  The little arrow did not move.  I called my friend Hector for his help.  He said he would come by later, but I might try shutting the computer down and restarting it before plugging in the new mouse.  Of course it worked fine after that.

I have gotten used to the extra cord and enjoy the fact that I do not have to keep buying AAA batteries.  Batteries are very expensive here and  it is illegal to bring batteries in your luggage.  Maybe it is a security thing (like bottles of 3 oz). or maybe Mexico just does not want them imported.  Anyway I am happily typing away on my computer and waiting for the next crisis.

P:S:  The butterfly has noting to do with this story, I just thought it was a pretty picture.   I had just taken it so it was on the group I downloaded.  These large yellow and black butterflies have arrived recently here and seem to love my new red plant.

LA MUERTE DE UNA RATA

For my long time readers, you will remember the "Rat in the Dryer" and "The Return of the Rat".  Well, I have another rat story.  A few morning ago as I was waiting for my morning coffee, I noticed what looked like scraps of tomato rind on my tile.  The night before I had cut up a tomato to make a sandwich, but I used a cutting board.  How could the tomato rind have wound up over by the window?  Could I have been that sloppy? (Of course there is the possibility that I was drunk at the time)  Well, I had to sit down with my coffee and cigarette and wake up before I figured it out.

Then I thought "Didn't I have an extra tomato there?"  I keep any fruit that needs to further ripen on my counter top instead of the refrigerator.  At any rate I needed to go to my local produce store.  My friend Nancy shops every day at the open market and  berates me for paying too much at my local little store.  Yes, the open market is less expensive and there is a much larger selection as it covers a whole city block, but it is 4 or 5 blocks away, while my little store is only one block away. As I have told you, I am very lazy.  To put it in further perspective, you should know what it cost.  I bought 3 tomatoes

, a couple of red bell peppers, a bunch of banana, a carrot, some celery and a large papaya.  The total was 37 pesos (about $2,50)  So what would I have saved 25 cents??

Back home I placed the papaya and tomato on the counter under the window.  The following morning half of one tomato had been eaten by something.  A rat would be a logical conclusion, but I sweep and mop my own floors and have never seen a rat turd (and I know what a rat turd looks like).  What I do have are dropping (shit) from geckos.  They are cute tiny lizards who crawl all over the walls and across the ceiling.  They also eat insects, so no one bothers then here, but they do get into everything leaving their calling cards (shit).

Well, something had to be done, so I brought down the rat trap I had purchased a year ago that never caught a thing.  I cleaned it up, placed the half tomato and some bacon inside (Someone told me rats love bacon)   I placed it in the open window.  That window is never closed.  I used to have a problem with cats crawling in for there was a corrugated tin roof just below the window from an old abandoned house.  The rood collapsed two years ago and no cats since.  I thought nothing would be able to reach the window, but today I noticed that there is a small narrow ledge just below the window from where the  roof used to connect with my wall.  What ever it was I was hoping it would fit into my rat trap.  We have a very strange animal that looks like a furry opossum or an enormous rat that I have spotted crawling along the brick wall about 20 feet away from me


The next morning  while waking up and waiting for my coffee I notice that indeed I did have a rat in my trap. He was not as big or black as the one that scared me half to death a year ago, but nasty looking.  He was frantically trying to break through to metal cage.  I moved him off my window ledge and carried him to my balcony.  Now, what to do??  There was still a lot of food in there so it could take a week for him to stave to death.  I was not about to let him go, so "how to kill him".  I thought of calling my "ant man" who sprays my apartment every six months to see if he could gas him to death.  But I really did not want to pay 200 pesos just to kill him.  I got out some Raid and covered him with it.  He foolishly tried to lick it off.  Within 30 minutes he had calmed down and looked like he was going to take a nap (a long one I hoped).  But he recovered, so I sprayed him again, and again.

Now you may think that all this is very cruel, but what were my options.  I could put the whole trap in a plastic bag, but we do not have trash bins.  I have to drop him on the corner.  The homeless go through the bags and I couldn't take the chance on his getting out.  Of course I could carry him down the street and dump him someone else's backyard, but that didn't seem like a good idea anyway.  I then thought of another option.  I could drop the cage in a bucket of water.  But frankly if I was offered the options of dying by drowning or poison, I would take the poison.  But after spraying him and waiting for him to die all day long, I decided to put him out of his misery.  I filled a bucket of water and dropped him in.  I don't think he suffered too long but just to make sure I left him up there and took a nap (heartless bastard that I am).

When I went back up to the terrace for my evening cocktail, he was indeed dead.  Now all I had to do was to dump him in a plastic bag and leave him at the corner.  But I decided to let it wait until morning.  Once I start my evening cocktails I do not want to spoil the glow with a rat disposal.  I even thought of leaving the corpse up there as a warning to his relatives.  But that seemed too disgusting even to me.  I ignored him until the next day.  Now I do not want you to think that we are over run with rats here.  In five years  I have encountered three rats (outside or inside).  The dozen stray cats living in the jungle behind me probably keeps the rat population down.  Maybe this rat crawled up my wall to get away from the cats.  BIG MISTAKE !!




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UN DIA A LA PLAYA

It had been several weeks since I had made it to the beach.  It has been very hot and humid early this year.  My place is just five blocks to the beach, but the beach club I like is more like 14 to 15 blocks.  I never felt up to the long walk  (I never take cabs).  Plus, we have had some overcast days (a blessing) and some rain (though not enough),  So when friends of mine said they were driving to the beach, I asked to ride along.

We arrived early and the beach looked strange.  First there was almost no one on the beach although were a lot of boys surfing in the water.  Several of the restaurants and bars looked like they were not open.  You could see that during the night the water had reached all the way to the building.   The usual beach chairs and umbrellas were missing.  Upon arriving at our favorite, the waiter immediately came out and asked where we would like him to set up our tables and chairs.  We picked a spot about mid way to the water.  Then he brought umbrellas and carefully placed them so some of us got sun and some were in the shade.

It happened to be the voting day.  Forever Mexico has had a law that states that no alcohol may be sold or served from midnight Friday until midnight Sunday (the voting booths close at 7;00 Sunday night, so go figure).  But we were informed that at 4:30 on Saturday the law had been amended so that if food was served they could serve alcoholic beverages.  It seems that some of the expensive "all inclusive hotels" had complained.  Mexican Nationals tend to avoid these hotels so probably no one staying there could vote anyway. Someone said that the law actually stated that you had to have food in front of you in order to be served a drink (would a bowl of pretzels qualify?)   No matter, most laws in Mexico are ignored anyway.

A hurricane was supposed to have hit us several days earlier, but it went out to sea and passed us by.  We did not even get a sprinkle of rain out of it.  I have been told that the high waves occur a few days after a hurricane has passed.  This was no scientist who told me, but after living in a hurricane prone area for a few years, I have noticed that the high waves do come later.  The fifteen foot waves were a big attraction to the surfers that day.

Talk on the beach was also about the damage done to the Malecon the night before.  Now the Malecon is the most famous and popular street in Vallarta.  Several years ago, it was completely torn up and rebuilt with more pedestrian space and lots of planters with lush tropical plants.  For reasons known only to the Mexicans it was built several feet lower to the water.  It really is quite beautiful with dozens of bronze statues.  The remodeling included  replacement of the statues and they were all illuminated.  Shortly after it was installed someone sat on one of the statues during a light rain and was electrocuted.  They are no longer lit.  Then just a few months ago new lighting was installed above and in the sidewalk in front of many of the palm trees.  So far no one has been electrocuted.  We do not know yet what the storm did to these lights.  The photo included of the Malecon was sent to me and shows pieces of the wall broken up on the sidewalk.

Well we were happily seated and drinks were served.  I always order ice tea even though it is twice the price of a bottle of beer (no idea why).  I had just lit my first cigarette and settled into my chair when the owner came over and told us that we might have to move as a large wave was approaching.  Planning on just lifting up my feet, I leaned over to grab onto my sandals when suddenly I was underwater.  Everything including me was flowing out to sea.  Beach boys came from everywhere grabbing tables chairs and umbrellas. Maybe some one shouted "Save the Gringos !!"  They managed to grab my towel, glasses and beach bag, but my shirt was a lost cause.  The wave had traveled 20 or 30 feet and came right up to the restaurant.  There is a little wood deck in front and so they brought out regular chairs and tables for us.  They also replaced my ice tea at no charge.  I have no idea if they were able to reclaim my glass tumbler.  My cigarettes and lighter were also lost.  After that huge wave, the water receded back to where it was, but we all decided that none of us wanted to go back onto the sand so we stayed on the little deck.  Also our towels were soaking wet and covered in sand.

My friend lost both his shirt and shorts.  (For reasons known only to him he always strips down to a speedo).  Since he had no clothes he decided that we could not go anywhere else for lunch, so we might as well have it there.  I walked up and down the beach to look at other damage,  The restaurant next door had a sunken bar with no drain and they were busy bailing water out.  Dozens of palapas tops were scattered about the beach and I noticed one of them floating in the water.  There are a couple of pools where water and sand had washed over them.  It was an interesting day at the beach, but not what I expected or wanted.  Maybe next week.  By the way, all the photos were borrowed.  If I had taken my camera, it too would have been lost.  One has to wonder what would it be like if a hurricane actually hit us, since this one did not even come close.  The last direct hit was in 2001.  One thing I am sure of, I would avoid the beach for a few days.  

MAS PROBLEMOS CON AGUA

You may think that you have read this story before.  You would not be entirely wrong as the same thing has happened to me before.  This time there were a few new twists to the story so I decided to write it anyway.  Well, that and the fact that nothing of any interest has happened to me recently (for me this is the good news).  One evening (as is my usual) I am having a cocktail (or two) up on my terrace while listening to the beautiful singing from the choir at the church across the street.  Then a large black bird dived into my water tank.  NOT AGAIN !!  The only ladder I have is a short one so by standing precariously on the top rung and stretching up all I can do his touch my finger to the rim.  Sure enough there is no top on it.  The next morning I called Saul.

The first time it happened the lid was on my neighbors deck, Saul retrieved it but told me that the tank was full of leaves and bugs, it had to be cleaned out.  First the water was shut off at the street and then we drained the tank.  It took hours, then he needed a scoop to get stuff out of the water and then a towel to clean the inside.  He insisted that the lid could not blow off for it screws on tight, but it did.  So this time when I called him, he said that he was busy but would be there at noon the following day.  It was after 4:00 when he arrived.  This is Mexico.  Saul is the most honest trust worthy Mexican I know (and he is cheap) but he is not good about time.  When he arrived he said all four of his ladders where somewhere else.  Mine was of no use, so he said he would borrow one.  He was gone about half an hour and arrived with one just a foot taller than mine with the two lower rungs broken.  He could still not see the neighbors deck.  He said he would return the following day with a taller ladder.  It was two days later and almost dark.  He could see no lid so he when around to corner to the neighbors front door and found them home.

These are the second neighbors I have had since I lived here.  I have seen them maybe two or three times.  They are never home.  There are almost never any lights on at night.  I was told that they are two young Mexican boys who disco till dawn and sleep all day.  Fine with me, as I never hear a sound from them.  It is like living next to an empty apartment.  The owners nephew who lives on the other side of me told me that they are always late on their rent and he is sure they are moving out, but months later they are still there.  Not my problem.  Anyway when Saul returned he had the lid which the boys had taken inside their apartment.  Why?? were they going to try to pawn it?  They had to know it belonged on my tank.  Saul questioned them about how it could come off and they said that it must have been a friend of mine..  Sure!  First of all I have no ladder to reach it.  It was now so dark and we still had to drain the tank so he said he would come back later.

While all this is happening (and going back about one month) I was also having trouble getting my drinking water delivered.  Jesus my first guy was great always showing up shortly after I called him, but he quit to work for Coca Cola who owns the Ciel drinking water company.  Next was Alfonso, but he also quit,, then Jorge but he quit, and finally Ismael.  I asked the taco people to watch out for the Ciel truck, but nothing.  I asked my coffee lady and she said she had the same problem and just hailed them when one passed by.  I just happened to mention to David who runs my gym (the smiling Adonis, I call him)  To my amazement he called me later that day and said that a truck was on the way.  I asked for the guys cell number but as near as I could understand, he does not work my street.  Two weeks later I had the same problem.  There are never any Ciel trucks on my street anymore.  Now on the whole block counting both sides of the street there are only three Mexican families and myself who live here.  Maybe they never order water.  After all it costs 25 pesos for delivery and for 22 pesos you can buy a bottle at the tienda and carry it home.  I cannot.  After mentioning this problem at El Sofa cafe a couple whose name I could not remembered said that he would carry the bottle for me, and he did.  Thank God for the kindness of strangers.  But the problem is yet unsolved. The next time I ran out, I happened to notice the guy driving a scooter with an attached little cart with water bottles.  He was shouting "Agua !"  I screamed from my balcony, he stopped and I signaled two bottles.  They were only 20 pesos each.  Although the water is in a Ciel bottle, the sealed plastic top is not there, instead a piece of plastic tape is wrapped around it.  Where does this water come from, and is it really filtered water?  I decided not to think about it and so far I am okay.

When Saul returned to clean out the tank he kept yelling down that there was something else in the tank, but I could not understand him.  Finally he carried down a handful of peanuts.  PEANUTS !! I am allergic to peanuts.  Is someone trying to kill me ??  Even more puzzling is who knew I was allergic to peanuts?  I had never had the occasion to tell Saul.  I have never spoken to my neighbors and why would they want to kill me?  They cannot even afford the apartment they have.  The only person that for sure knows of my allergic is my best friend here.  I know he gets upset with me from time to time, but it would be a stretch to assume he broke into my apartment carrying a tall ladder, climbed up the roof, ripped the lid off and threw peanuts in it.  REALLY??  Of course it is possible that a bird picked up some peanuts (they are sold on every other corner) flew to my tank and stood on the rim while cracking the peanuts.  Like Mexico it remains a puzzle surrounded by mystery and wrapped up in an enigma   (that is not an exact quote, but you get the message).

MEXICO Y RUDIO (NOISE)

Mexicans love noise.  Bars play the music so loud that you can hear it  blocks away.  It makes conversation inside almost impossible.  Cars drive by with speakers blasting away.  Trucks go up and down the streets with megahorns attached to the hoods.  They sell everything from tacos, to fruit to natural gas.  All screaming a the top of their lungs.   The men shout when they speak, and the women scream.  There are many street musicians as well.  The mariachis stay down on the Malecon and Olas Altos.  Sometimes only a drummer and a guy with a trumpet or tuba,  They make enough noise that is sounds like a full band coming up the street. But nothing compares with the noise during the Festival of Santa Cruz.

It occurs each year around May 3rd.  In my last posting on the church, I said that it went on for a week before and a few days afterward.  That turned out not to be true.  It lasted for over three weeks, blocking off three blocks of my street.  Neighbors and businesses were outraged.  At the following district meeting they complained about the length of the festival and asked the Mayor (El Presidente here) what happened to the money.  All the rides and stalls along the street said that they paid 10,000 pesos to be there.  The treasurer got up and said, she never received a dime.  The mayor refused to explain.  He has since resigned and we are about to have another election for Mayor.  With all the fuss over last year, we were sure it would not happen again.  Wrong!!  Who is getting the money this year, no one will ever know.

At first there were far fewer kiddy rides and food booths.  As the week progressed, more rides arrived each night.   Why they have to assemble them in the middle of the night, I do not know, but they do.  It was just the beginning of all the noise.   I do not really mind the screams and yells of the little kids, but then they are drowned out by all the other noises.   The one car ride that has an awful siren and horn sound, Luckily it is at the other end of the street.  What really set me off was the performance platform installed under my bedroom balcony.  Last year it was located in the next block.  That noise was bad enough, but this is almost intolerable.

They have installed a huge dance platform and speakers that are the size of a small automobile.   When no group is performing, they have Mexican radio station on.  The bass literally shakes the entire building.   To my amazement and horror,  they installed two even larger speakers at the other end of the street for another ride.  You have the constant drum, drum drum and stomping of the dancing troops while the music at the other end of the block continues.  Of course we have bells all week and they have started up the cannon.  It is not really a cannon (as it was in the old days) but a rocket that is launched to explode in the air.   Previously a man had to crawl out of the second story window to stand on the roof to set off the rockets.  Last year they built an extension to a class room on the second floor, turned a window into a door and built a stair case to get to the roof.  It was very nicely finished off in a Mission style with yet another bell.

I learned that all the dancers are from schools around the area, but someone pays for all the platforms, lights and sound equipment.  When they set it up under my balcony, I wonder how where they would set up the chairs for the audience.   Well, they put them in the middle of the intersection, of course.   They always block off the cross street for the final bonfire and fireworks, but this is insane.  Not only does it disturb all traffic, but that street is a bus  route.  Since every other street is one way, I do not know where the buses go now.  Maybe they just charge up the wrong way on the next street.  After all it is Mexico and here, no one gets in the way of the buses.  They know they are bigger and they will run right over you.  Although the dancers and singers are not really professional, some were really good.  All of them had fantastic costumes.   On the final day, the stage was set up like an altar and the church choir sang.  They are good enough to perform at the Performing Arts Theater.  All year I will sit up on my deck and listen to the choir.

Then in the middle of the festival, we had a little  "dust up" with the local drug cartel.  The state of Jalisco (which covers Guadalajara to Puerto Vallarta) arrested a major drug lord.  The cartel was pissed and declared war on Jalisco.  They bombed banks and gas stations (why those two, we do not know)  Since it was a Holiday all the businesses were closed, so no one was hurt or injured.  They also set fire to some police cars (most of this in Guadalajara).  Now, before you say "I told you so !"  It was not as bad as Fuergeson  or  Baltimore, and I would rather live here.

 

 Still it did unnerve some people and some bars closed that night.  My friend Filiipe was to bring his wife and kid over that night.  He called and said they were staying home and he thought that the festival might shut down as well.

No such luck. It ran past midnight that night.  As I thought about it, all the drug dealers here are "Good Catholics" so this was probably the safest place in town.  In a day things calmed down, I guessed that drug cartel thought they had made their point.   No, it wasn't that.  The drug lord somehow "escaped" from the Guadalajara jail.  Who knew ??   On the last night I invited a group of friends over for pizza to watch the fire works.  They were even more  spectacular.  It was the fortieth year for the church, so they went all out. A structure over four stories tall is erected in front of the church.  It is covered with fireworks displays that went on for a good half hour.  For the finale, the top blows off into the air and  fireworks rained down on us for several more minutes directly overhead.  During this display all of the bells on the church are ringing.  It was something.

It was after 1:00am before I got to bed, but got up at my usual early hour and almost everything was gone.  I was so tired I did not even hear the noise.  I plan on going to bed early tonight.

MUCHOS FIESTAS

The winter or "High Season" is when most of the people I know spend time in Puerto Vallarta.  Some were here only for a few days, some stay for a month or more.  So far none has used my guest bedroom, but I have been busy.  My social scene is normally pretty limited so I am not used to the constant dinners and parties.  Two of my new friends that I met at bridge spend almost six months  here and entertain the entire time they are here.  I have been fortunate to attend many of their dinners over the years, but last year missed their biggest party (a costume party)  because I was out of town  

Although it follows Mardi Gras they say it has nothing to do with Mardi Gras, it is just an excuse for another party.  Mardi Gras here by the way, is nothing like Rio or New Orleans.  Very few people dress up and the parade consists of cars and pick up trucks decorated with balloons.  It has always been in the Romantic Zone and mostly sponsored by the LGBT group.  A few years ago, the mayor (who always makes stupid decisions), decided he wanted it on the Malecon and he wanted it to be more "family friendly"  Mardi Gras ??? Really ??  Anyway the parade continued but it does start on the Malecon and winds up at the pier in Zona Romatica.

At first I had no idea what to do for a costume, then I saw my El Sofa coffee lady dress up as a witch for Holloween.  I asked if I could borrow her costume and she agreed to do my make up.  The make up took an hour.  She wanted to add a false nose and chin, but I declined as I knew it would be too uncomfortable to wear it all evening (especially while eating dinner).  Still, no one recognized me at first.  Yes, the costume was more appropriate for Holloween than Mardi Gras, but it was still a good costume.

The home where the party took place is in Los Gaviotos where they are nothing but mansions on large lots.  A few years ago they purchased the lot behind them for an extension of their already large beautiful garden.  I happened to be at a dinner party (a sit down for 20 people) just after they purchased the property.     They had cut an oval hole in their wall where you could see just a vacant lot with weeds.  Not more than two or three months later, I was again invited and to my amazement the garden was complete with full grown trees and vines climbing up and over eight foot walls.


They had set up eight or nine tables for eight in the garden on each side of a center fountain..  At the back of the new garden is a cabana where the bar was set up and opposite it is a full kitchen (behind their orchid garden).  The photos of me were taken in my apartment, but I took the camera to document the party.  After just a few shots, the batteries died.  It happens all the time here because of the heat and humidity.  So I have very few photos to show you.  By the way, I won a prize for my costume, but have no idea why (maybe for the ugliest drag).  There was so much noise with all the people I could not hear anything until suddenly I heard my name being called out.  It was a very fun party.  I have no idea what costume I will come up with next year.


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VUELVO AT YAPLAPA (RETURN TO YALAPA)

An old friend of mine was spending a week here in Vallarta and I told him that a trip to Yalapa was a "must".  It is a tiny little village with no roads or cars.  The only way to reach it is by boat, so it has remained pretty primitive and very much like Vallarta was fifty years ago (before Huston and the Burtons arrived),  It had been over two years since I had visited myself, so it you have been following me for several years, you may remember my last blog.

As I mentioned before, the boat trip is half the fun of going there.  The reason I know it was more than two years ago is because at the time you had to wade out to the water taxi.  The pier had not yet been rebuilt.  Just before the pier is a little stand where they sell tickets.   The new pier is one of the landmarks of Vallarta that the city did a good job on.  The "sail" theme is also repeated along the Malecon.  At night it is illuminated with a series of colored lights.  The street leading to the pier has now been made into a pedestrian mall.  Unfortunately the city did not do a good job on landscaping the street, but maybe in time it will improve.

 A round trip is 280 pesos (or about  $20.00).  This time we were able to leave from the pier but getting in and out of the boat is still treacherous.   For reasons only explained by (It's Mexico !) everyone is handed a life jacket on the way over, but not on the way back. (in fact the boat did not even contain any lifesaver vests).   Unfortunately this time we saw no whales or dolphins.  There had been a recent tropical storm so maybe that is why they were not there.  We passed "Los Arcos" or three large rocks with tunnels through them.  At low tide the boats will go through the tunnel, but no this time.

Depending on who is board, the water taxi sometimes makes stops at Boca de Tomatlan and Las Animas.  Yalapa is on a little bay with ancient piers at each end.  This time we were dropped off at the South pier which made the hike to the waterfall easier.  Sometimes they simply beach the water taxi on the sand and you have to wade off the boat.  Again there is no explanation for why: it just is.  We started with the short climb up to the waterfall.  The paths (they are not really streets) are now concrete and cobblestones (much better than the dirt and mud of former days).  It is a pretty water fall, although nothing spectacular.  There is another larger fall further up the mountain, but I have been told it is over an hour climb and not well marked (nothing is here).

After the falls we circled the town giving us great views of the bay.  Like almost all towns along the coast, it was founded at the mouth of a river (which usually opens into a small bay).  Due to almost constant sand bars, a small lake has formed.  When pressure builds up the lake and water will break through the sand bar forcing you to wade across the stream.  I have been there went it was almost waist deep and very treacherous.  Today  it was less than knee deep.  There are also lots of iguanas in Yalapa.  This one is a pet that a guy carries around on his shoulder.  If he sees you taking a picture, he will demand 100 pesos, so I took this photo when he wasn't looking.

There really is no "town", just a few shops and many restaurants.  All of them have tables and chairs set onto the sand.  We had a nice lunch watching the waves and kids playing in the water.  If one where so inclined, there are stables behind the restaurants where you can rent a horse (or maybe a donkey)  Other than that, there is nothing to do in Yalapa, just to chill out and enjoy the view.   It would be a great place to smoke weed (but then, I already have too many vices).   The ride back seemed a little faster, but it did travel close to the shore.  The waves crashing on rocks creates a tableau of deep blue, aqua and white.  On both trips we were on the wrong side of the boat to get a good picture, but I did the best I could (not being a good photographer, or an writer for that matter).  It is a trip I would advise anyone visiting here to take.



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