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Friday, July 18, 2014

NO FUMAR




One of the main reasons I moved here was because I could smoke almost anywhere.  OKAY, the main reasons were that it was warm and cheap.  Still after living in California where there is no smoking on the beach, many sidewalks and certainly nowhere inside.  There are even non smoking condos and apartment buildings.  So, being able to smoke in any bar seemed like Paradise for me.  There were a few bars and restaurants (high end mainly) that had non smoking signs, but I avoided them.

After a couple of years,  a few more restaurants and bars posted No Smoking signs.  This should have given me a view of the future.  I knew that several years before I moved here the Federal Government passed a no smoking law.  It was just ignored.  No surprise here; I have yet to discover a law here that the Mexicans don't ignore.   I asked a few bar owners and they said that since Puerto Vallarta was tourist destination, they would not enforce the law here.  I was happy.

Then one day at the restaurant where I play bridge they posted "No fumar" sign in their patio.  I had never smoked under the covered area where we played bridge for I knew the other members would fuss.  But this was a huge  patio open to the beach.  I said, "You have got to be kidding!"  Nope! they were not.  If I wanted a cigarette I would have to stand on the sidewalk.  The patio picture shows this now almost empty restaurant.

A few weeks later I stopped after bridge at Apache's for a much needed margarita.  It was the height on the season and all of the outdoor tables and chairs were taken.  Not spotting anyone I knew, I moved inside to sit at the bar where I was told that there was no smoking inside anymore.  The owner told  me that the cigarette police had been there and it was a 50,000 peso fine for smoking inside, but she said I could still smoke outside.  I re scanned the tables and spotted someone I vaguely knew.  Cigarette in hand I moved toward the table and asked if I could bring up a chair.  Someone I did not know said,  "I would rather you not smoke, I am allergic to it"  I felt like saying "Then you move inside and I will take your chair"  But I did not and lowering my head slunk away.

Another evening I was talking to Endra, the co-owner of Apache's  (and a woman not to be messed with) and she told me that they tried to stop smoking at the sidewalk tables  because there was an awning.  She made a big scene and said, " So, are you going to arrest people walking along the sidewalk with a cigarette in hand?"  She insisted that since it was an area open on three sides people should be allowed to smoke.  Later I heard that the  "cigarette czar" wanted to fine her just for being so obnoxious..  Several weeks later I was seated outside and saw Endra standing in the doorway with a cigarette in hand.  I told her she should step onto the sidewalk or the "cigarette police" would arrest her.  She took a big drag on her cigarette, turned into the bar and blew a big puff of smoke inside.. She also told me that they were working their way through the town hitting all the bars and restaurants.  So, I was quite shocked one day when passing my favorite bar "Un bar Frida" to find ash trays on the bar.  That owner told me that none of the gendarmes had stopped there, so as far as he was concerned he knew nothing about the law.

So far (over a month later) it is the only bar I know that still has smoking.  The government has hired 200 extra cigarette police to monitor all the establishments in Vallarta.  Sooner or later I knew that they would win.  So I decided to go to the electronic cigarette.  Which I understand they are also trying to ban in the United States even though no smoke or tar is emitted.  They still sell guns to crazy people who blow away schools, but an electronic cigarette is a No, No,  CNN just had a story about a teenager who was sent to prison for 30 years for selling some pot brownies.  The law makers in the U.S. are nuts. (another reason I left).  I went to the one Smoke Shop in town, but found they only had one style.  As is typical here, the owner was extremely rude and unfriendly (they are the worst businessmen in the world).  The only electronic cigarette he carried was the kind where you have to carry little bottles of tobacco liquid to refill it.  I had done some investigation and learned that these cigarettes are not only cumbersome to use, but could be dangerous (do not know why).  So I kept asking people who had them (most brought them from the U.S. or Canada)  But one guy at bridge told me to go to the wine shop at Los Mercados.

Nina is the American shop owner and is a heavy smoker.  She had done some research and found a company in Mexico City that had the good ones that come with a package of cartridges.  For some reason they cannot be shipped from the U.S.  Surely Mexico is not worried about drugs being sent into the country from the United States.  Anyway she told me to go online and pick the kit that I wanted.  The kits ranged from 900 to 2,200 pesos (not cheap at all).  The extra pack of five cartridges is another 189 pesos.  You also have to select the level of tobacco and the flavor.  Yes, they not only come in mint, but chocolate and pina colada.  I went for Absolute Tobacco.  I gave her the money, she added no extra charge and waited for her to call and tell me the package had arrived.

Five days later my package arrived.  It is a cute little case and easy to figure out. The main part is the battery which you can plug into a socket or your computer to recharge it.  Then there is a package of five cartridges you screw into the main part.   I tried it and did not really fine it that satisfying.  For a couple of weeks, I just kept it next to my computer so when I felt the need for some nicotine, I just pick it up and take a drag on it.  I do not smoke inside my apartment, so it was easier than moving to the balcony or deck.  Finally I took it to one of the nonsmoking bars.  "



Wet" started non smoking over a year ago, when  I stopped going.  It is called Wet because behind the bar is a glass shower where "performers" perform (nude I might add)   Mesmerized by the show,. it worked for a while, but eventually I moved outside (with my drink) for a real one.  Several people I know have switched over totally to the electronic cigarettes.  I do not think I will.  It does not burn my throat or irritate my nose, but maybe I will get used to it.

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Saturday, July 5, 2014

CORERO EN MEXICO

When ever someone tells me they want to mail a letter or something to me in Mexico, I tell them "We don't have mail in Mexico".  That is an exaggeration, but they might as well not have it.  Even the Mexican utility companies won't use it.  They pay an employee to hand deliver the bills to each household.  They also do not bother with envelopes.  You have to know when the bill is due and search for it.  If you are lucky they will stick it under the door, where it gets wet if it is raining (rain runs under my door during heavy storms).  Or, they stick it in the door, or maybe hide it behind the meter.  If you miss it, in 10 days they could shut off your electricity or water.

UPS is really the only way to get something to me and it is also "iffy".  My first experience was when I had to have a new credit card mailed to me after it was stolen in Cancun.  That took forever and since the tracking said it was in Guadalajara the night before, I ran out for my latte in the morning.  Sure enough there was a note on my door when I got back.  I called Saul.  He told me that they only make one attempt and then return it to the U.S.  I had to go to the UPS office and pick it up.  Fortunately he knew where the office was so the following day, we hailed a cab and headed off.

UPS does not have an office in Puerto Vallarta, but uses a shipping company.  So you really have to know where to go as nothing outside indicates that UPS is inside.  It took about for ever  to find it, but I did get it. That was my only experience with UPS until recently.  One Monday morning I noticed that I had a call form a strange 800 number.  I almost deleted it.  For four years I have had collection companies calling me looking for a Maria, or an Edward.  Apparently they had this number four years ago in California.  I have Magic Jack for calls outside of Mexico and got a number local for Laguna Beach so people can call me at no charge.  Each time I speak to the collection company they promise to delete the number from their list, but the calls continue.

Anyway, this happened to be a call from the fraud department at my bank.  They notice "unusual activity" on my care and fortunately called me.  Someone in Seattle had made ten charges on my card all on Sunday night.  My bank knows I live in Mexico.  Of course they said they would credit me for all the charges, but they had to cancel my card and send me a new one.  They would not mail it to Mexico.   They said that someone in Seattle had hacked into my account.  I know no one is Seattle, never use the card for anything but ATM withdraws.  I did use it while I was in the U.S. but that was five months ago.  They said they
 would only mail it to my U.S. address of record. They said it would take a week to ten days.  I had my friend Donna check it after 10 days and the card was there.  She mailed it UPS and got a tracking number.  It cost $75.00 U.S.  for a small envelope that weighed less than half an ounce.  You still wonder why I don't have anything mailed to me?

The tracking showed it arriving eleven days later.  Then it said, that it would be delivered a day early.  With my last experience, I decided not to leave the house all day.  No latte, no gym, no shopping, I just sat and waited.  Of course it did not arrive until 6:30 at night.  The next morning I tried it at my ATM and Thank God it worked.  Without a credit or debit card I am without access to money.   No one takes a check here.
And I do not want to use a credit card for purchases so I was desperate to get the card.  You would think that for $75.00 a small envelope could get here a little faster.
 Why eleven days?  I think once it gets to Mexico, it travels by burro.

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