LOS EQUIPAULIS

When I first thought about furnishing my apartment, I thought of equipaulis.  I wanted to have a Mexican look and nothing says Mexican like equipaulis.  No one seems to know where the name comes from (it might be a Mexican Indian word).   It is a line of crude furniture made of sticks of wood with pigskin stretched over twigs.  The pigskin is cured in horse urine, so you have to let it air awhile before you want to bring it inside.

First I bought two chairs and three small end tables for my very first apartment.  When I moved to one with a large deck, I added two more chairs and a large dining table.   Then when I moved to my present place, I wanted two larger chairs and a lamp table for the living room to create a little reading area.  That was my first big problem  with the equipauli people.   Of course each delivery was never on time.  They never called before arriving, but that is just Mexico.  One day when I came home from the gym, I found them sitting in front of my door, just waiting.  Wouldn't a call have been easier?

The other problem is that there is only one place that makes the furniture and there are no regular hours.  You just have to keep going back until you find them there (they also don't answer their phone).   Also not one of them speaks a word of English.  So maybe they are embarrassed for not being able to speak English.  I am the one who should be embarrassed, for after all, it is their country
So each time I stopped there, I had someone with me who spoke Spanish.  I had seen some high backed equipauli chairs and wanted that look for my little reading area.  I could tell by the expression on their faces, that doing something a little different was not to their liking.  They charged more for the chairs, but after giving them a deposit they agreed to make them.  (in a week, I think they said).  Well it took many stops over almost two months to learn that they could not or did not want to make them. As it was translated to me, the higher back would require a larger pig hide and they couldn't find one.  Now the dinning tables use a much larger piece of leather, but never mind, that was their story.

I heard of a sort of antique place in Bucerios (about one hour away) that did carry some equipaulis.  So I went there.  No high backed chairs and they were not interested in making any.  They did have two old chairs that were heavily padded, but I thought would be okay.  The leather was in awful condition, but I was told that it would be cleaned up like new before delivery.  NOT TRUE !!  But when I got them, I was too tired fighting and just accepted them.  I went back to the first place and had them make the lamp table for the amount of my original deposit, so I was set.

Two years later, one of the original chairs (now four years old)  that seem to get the most rain began to rot.   Termites attack them, but I had already taken care of that problem with a strong smelling liquid that is applied with a paint brush.  In fact I had recently had to repaint my lamp table (the termites love the stuff).   No, this was just rot.  The bottom wood turned to mush.  By using several kinds and tubes of glue I tried to stabilize it, but to no avail.  It continued to deteriorate.  Then I had some friends over for cocktails.  I warned them not to sit in the bad one, but one guy kept leaning back and rocking in his chair.  The next day I discovered that it too was rotting and the extra weight broke the bottom part.  It took many trips to their shop to find them in, but a Mexican friend of mine told them of my problem and the agreed to take a look at them.

They were to call him first, but did not.  They just appeared one day.  He gave me a price on the two chairs and a small table where the leather had split  (due to the sun on my balcony).  Just 5 days later, I happened to to peering over my terrace and on the street below was his car that obviously had equipaulis in the back seat.  I ran down stairs to catch him.  While he brought the furniture up, I went into my bedroom to count out the exact amount of money (they never have change).  At the top of the stairs was one chair that looked brand new and the small table with a new leather top.  I assumed the other chair had been carried up to the deck.  After I paid him for the two chairs, then I realized that there was only the one chair.

Next day I had my Mexican friend stop there to find out what happened to the other chair.  The guy said that it was just too far gone to repair.  But I paid for the two chairs!.  He claimed not to have noticed how much money I gave him and then said he would have it ready in a week.  None of this makes any sense, but "it is Mexico".  He also said he would do it "for the same price"  (does that mean what I already paid him or did he want another 300 pesos?)

Two weeks later I had my Mexican friend stop by and ask how it was going.  The guy said the chair would be ready next week and he would deliver it at 5:00 Monday.  Of course he never showed up and he never called.  As it happened, my friend was passing their shop the next day and stopped.  They told him that the chair was already on the truck and would be delivered to me withing the hour.  It was over five hours later that they arrived, but again the chair looked brand new.  I thanked him and told him how happy I was and he left.  No money asked for.  They are not dependable about time, but I must admit that most Mexicans I have dealt with are basically honest.  You just have to have a lot of patience.

LOS JARDINES DE BOTANICOS

Since most of my posting are about problems I encounter living in Mexico, I thought I would write something on a lighter note.  The Botanical Gardens are one of the many good things about living in Vallarta.   I wrote about them a couple of times before a few years ago (but most of you will not remember anyway).  Also it was the first time I went there right after some heavy rains.

Friends of mine from San Diego were in town and they came up with the idea.  I was delighted especially since I love showing it off to new people.  The bus leaves from the corner of my block.  It leaves about every 30 minutes and the cost is only twenty pesos (about $1.50).  It takes a little over a half hour on the road along the coast.  Out of the bus window you get wonderful views of the Pacific Coast.  We pass Mismaloya and several other hotels and mansions along the coast.   Then cuts inland at Boca, and climbs into the mountains.  The property was purchased about seven or eight years ago, by an American who raised the money through donations.  It is quite beautiful and covers hundreds of acres.  The cost to enter has gone from 45 pesos to 60 pesos (everything is going up here).

There are many trails taking you though the jungle of palms, ferns and orchids.  The trails can be treacherous and I would advise wearing tennis shoes.  There are several small streams that lead into a river at the bottom of the valley.  Oddly many of the blooming plants I remembered where not in bloom, but the greenery is gorgeous.  One in particular was the jade vine, which has a flower that does not look natural for it is an iridescent  blue green.   The river can be viewed from the restaurant.  The climb down is difficult, and the trip back up out of the canyon is grueling.

 The restaurant sits atop a hill with a view over the vast gardens.  It is quite lovely and the food is good too.  They have added some bird feeders of fresh fruit and many beautiful birds greedily fought for the food.  My camera had a hard time catching a shot of them.  Every time I opened the camera the birds flew away (camera shy, I guess).  There were blue birds and lots of black ones with brilliant yellow wings (orioles, maybe)   I was also disappointed in the new Orchid Conservatory.  It has been under construction for four years and although the structure is lovely, but the plan display of orchids is pitiful.  Hopefully they are not through with it.  There were many more orchids in a display where you could buy them.

Like most things in Mexico it does have it's down side.  Having been there before I knew to coat myself with mosquito repellent.  I used a cream first then followed with a spray and wore a long sleeve shirt and tennis shoes with calf length socks.  Alas, it did not work.  We all think that the bites occurred while we waited half an hour at the bus stop.  You could see them buzzing around.  I was not prepared for what I discovered when I got home.  My legs with covered with more than twenty bites. The long sleeve shirt protected my arms, so they bit my knuckles.   One even bit my ankle right through the sock.  Still it is a worth while trip that I would recommend, but take along a better bug spray.

was very sparse.  Many they are not through with it yet (I hope so)

EL RATO REGRESSA (THE RAT RETURNS)

In my posting on The Rat in the Dryer, I stated that it was the first rat I had seen (dead or alive) anywhere in Puerto Vallarta.  The rat in my dryer was of course quite dead having gone through the vent fan in my dryer.  Well now I have seen a live one.  

As I also stated it is amazing since we live surrounded by a jungle and there is garbage on every other corner.  This is the most disgusting thing about living here.  Yes, all trash is supposed to be in plastic bags, but not everyone does.  Plus, animals will chew at it and the homeless rip the bags open to get to the aluminum cans to sell them.  Much smaller cities have dumpsters, but not here.  I am sure some how the mayor makes money off of the collection.  We used to have garbage collection every evening, but recently our Brilliant Mayor decided (as a cost cutting measure) to eliminate Sunday pick up.  Maybe he thinks that tourists will find garbage rotting for two days in the hot sun is "charming".  This is the same "brilliant" mayor who tripled the port fees.  Cruise ships that used to spend two days here, now only spend eight hours.  Think of the loss of income from all the passengers.  I could go on for pages, but this posting is about Rats (pun intended)

For months after the experience with the chewed up rat in my dryer, I approached it very carefully and banged on the sides before starting it.  Eventually I forgot about it.  Then one day I pulled the bag of laundry soap off the shelf and was about to pull out a big scoop, when I noticed rat turds in it.  I looked up at the shelf and found it too had rat turds all over it.  After banging very hard on the dryer, I put out four of those sticky traps for mice.  The last time all they caught were a few geckos.  A gecko is a small lizard with suction cup feet that walk all over our walls and ceilings.  They are cute little things, but they also poop everywhere.

This time I placed pieces of raw bacon in the center of four sticky  traps.  For a few days nothing (not even a gecko).  Then I noticed that two of the traps were gone, and the bacon was missing from the other two traps.  I can't see how the rat could have carried them off, but maybe a cat or other animal or more likely a bird.  My deck always have black birds on and around it.  At any point the traps were gone, so I knew I had to come up with something else.  Before I had a chance to figure it out, I was going up to the deck and at the top of the stairs was a large black rat.  I screamed, he scurried off.  He was not only twice the size, of the dead one, and the black coat gave him an even more menacing look.   I immediately started keeping the door to the deck shut.

I finally found a place that sold better mouse traps.  They are not the ones we are used to with the spring trap on the little wood board.  These were cages with trap doors.  They could easily hold any small animal.  Well, I loaded the spring trap with lots of bacon and left it between the washer and the dryer.  I had already cleaned off all the other rat turds from the shelf and around my laundry.  At first I wondered how he could have reached the shelf, then noticed the hole in the wall for the plumbing from the water tank on my neighbors patio.  The hole is right above the shelf and there is a huge tree that overhangs their patio.  The rat could have dropped off the tree then crawled through the wall. 

Every day I checked the trap, but nothing !  I also check for other rat turds, but no more have appeared.  Maybe I scared him more than he scared me.  He could not have reached the shelf or the hole in the wall, but there is a rain gutter at the end of my deck that extends to my neighbor.  I have no idea where he actually came from or where he went, but very happy he is gone.  I also thought what would I do, if he got stuck in the trap.  He would still be alive.  I guess I could just keep him as a pet until he starved to death.  But so far I have not been faced with that dilemma.  Stay tuned !  The trap is still set with bait.

p.s   The photo of the bell tower has nothing to do with this story, I just thought it was a prettier picture than the one of the rat trap.


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LOS BANCOS

Yes,  I know it has been a while.  It has just been to hot to think, (let alone write).  Also as you know, I am lazy.  This posting started months ago, but as you will see, it took a while to play out.

It could also have been called "El Correo en P.V. Part Two".  I noticed another call from an unknown number on my Magic Jack.  In my voice mail was another message from my bank that my account had been "compromised"  (Compromised is bank speak for someone has hacked into our system AGAIN).  They further stated that my card was being cancelled and a new card was on its way to me.  OH NO!  Not again!  I immediately called my bank (well of course immediate means that you wait through 10 minutes of "push this, and push that").

Finally I got a nice man on the line who asked me a series of questions.  One being could I give him the birth date of my co=signer.  I told him that I do not even know how old she is and I would never ask.  Finally he admitted that yes, the bank was sending me a new card "for my own protection".  I told him it was not for my own protection, but for my "antagonism".  I explained that just three months ago they did the same thing.  Since I am not in the United States (I did not want to tell him that I no longer live there) I have to have someone pick up the mail and then send the card to me by UPS which costs $75.00 and takes weeks.  After checking my account on line, I saw that there had been no activity in two weeks (either by me, or anyone else).  I wanted him to reverse the order and let me keep the card I have.

This he could not do (no idea why, except that it is a bank).  I had him check to see about mailing it to Mexico.  He was gone for a while and said that "yes" they would mail it to Mexico.  Once he had agreed, I thought "Oh my God, what have I done?"   He explained that it would come in an "unmarked" envelope without the banks name"  Has anyone ever picked up an envelope with a credit card in it that did not know there was a card inside?  Then he said that in a separate envelope, they would also mail me my new "pin number".  I do not want a new pin number!  What are the odds that these two pieces of mail will ever reach me?  So I got him to lift the ban on my current card for another week to allow me to draw out as much money as I could.  Then I waited.

Luckily I do have another account where my measly social security check is deposited. With all my problems with banks having two banks was a necessity.  But in the meantime I heard that you can have your social security check mailed to a bank in Mexico.  This would not only make my life easier, but safe me $60 month in ATM fees.  I called The Social Security Office.  First they said that the wait would be "about 45 minutes".  I hung up and called back a few hours later.  This time they said that they were so busy, that I should call back later.  They added that the busiest time was in early morning on the first of the month.  It was late afternoon and the middle of the month.  I tried to get in "on line"  I had to register giving them all my vital information.  They told me the information was incorrect and to try again.  I went over everything and it was all perfect.  I pushed the send and they said that I was being frozen out, since I had failed so many times.  Luckily I noticed a "help" button.  They was one that said I could leave a call back.  I did and about four hours later I got a call.

I told her why I was calling and she said, I had reached the wrong office and she would transfer my call.  I waited through 45 minutes of awful music and finally got a live person.  I was told that yes, they could send it to a bank in Mexico but I had to do it through the American Embassy.  That is in Mexico City, but we do have an American Consulate in Nuevo Vallarta, so I decided to try there.  My fear is that since I dropped my Residency Card, they might not do it.  The last time I renewed it took ten trips to the Immigration office and now they have changed the laws which makes it more expensive and almost impossible.  Before I hung up, I asked why I could not get on line.  She checked and the problem was my phone number was wrong.  I have not had that number in four years and could not even remember what it was.


But first I needed to open and account in Mexico.  That was not nearly as bad as I thought it might me (but after dealing with Social Security, anything would seem simple).  I had my passport, a copy of my lease and all my identification.  What I forgot is that all they want is an electric bill.  Why I do not know as it is in my landlord's name.  So I went back home and brought my electric bill, my water bill, and my Telecable bill (which is in my name).  All they wanted was the electric bill, but he wanted this month's bill.  I explained to him that it only comes every other month, and this was my last bill.  Finally he agreed.  Then there was a problem with my signature.  It did not look like the signature on my passport.  I explained that the  pasport was 7 years old and I was only 70 at the time and this is what my signature looks like today.  It did not matter.  I had to practice signing until I got one that was close.  Then I had to do it ten more times.

Before going off to the American Consulate, I decided to try to reach them by phone and see if I needed an appointment, and also what all I needed.  I immediately got a very nice lady who said she would email me the forms and if I could scan them, I could email them back to her.  I actually do know how to scan a document.  I was elated.  The forms arrived, I printed them out and began to read through them.  Then I saw in the "fine print" that the IRS will retain 26% of my check.  This would not do.

So back to B of A.  That had mailed the new card, but it had been returned to them.  I asked them to read back the address.  Sure enough they had eliminated the county, state, and zip code !!  Now maybe they were not familiar with Mexican addresses, but NO ZIP CODE ?  I gave them all the pertinent information and they said they would mail another card.  It has now been six weeks.  I knew it would never get here.  Fortunately no one else did either, for there is no activity on my account.  Nothing to do but close it out.  I worry about only having access to one bank in The States, but Bank of America is just too much work !!


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HOMBRES TRABAJANDO (MEN AT WORK)

Somewhere I read an article that said that Mexicans work longer hours per week than any other civilized country  (this assumes that Mexico is a civilized country).  I think that one of the Scandinavian countries worked the least hours.  Mexicans are extremely strong, no matter what size they are.  I am amazed what old women and young children can carry on their backs (or balanced on their heads).  Almost everyone works here.  Yes, some are hookers working the streets, but to them it is a job.   I do object to the parents who send their little children out to sell Chiclets and beg for money, but they are working.  Old people, young, and the disabled.  Every morning a man arrives to work at the restaurant across the street (I assume as a dishwasher).  One foot is turned completely backwards.  His right knee bends toward the left leg.  Some how he manages to walk and work.

I have already told you about the church painters who pulled themselves up five stories on wooden platforms and ropes.  Sadly after their Herculean effort, the paint has started to fade already.  Cheap paint of course.  The restaurant across the street from me was badly in need of a paint job, so I was delighted when a painter showed up to start scrapping off the peeling paint.  But he was a midget about three feet tall.  Why would they hire a midget to paint their wall?  Well, after watching him I determined that he was in fact a very good painter (as you know, I have painted all of my own apartments), so I know about painting).  He had brought a ladder with him (how he carried, it I have no idea) but it was not nearly tall enough to reach the top of the peak of the wall (especially when he is only three feet tall).

He would arrive late in the afternoon just before the taco stand opened up.  They fought every day as the sidewalk (and taco stand) was covered with pieces of peeled paint and dust.  Then one morning, the midget painter and the taco man showed up together.  The taco guy brought a tall ladder in his truck.  But it too was not tall enough.  So they got some pieces of wood and started nailing them to the ladder adding about three feet.  No way would you get me on that ladder.  But alas, it was still not tall enough to reach the roof.  So a neighbor showed up and he got to the top of the ladder and because he was tall, reached the top (you can see how the top few steps are added) .  Unfortunately, he was not a very good painter and dripped red over the newly painted white wall.  But that too was corrected.  It took the midget (with a little help from friends) a full week to finish the one wall.  It looks nice.

I assumed that he would then start on the other wall next.  Do not ever assume anything in Mexico for you will be wrong.  Months later the front of the restaurant still had peeling paint.  I did think that maybe theyran out of money (or maybe never paid the midget).  I figured the restaurant had a cash flow problem because of the gas truck that stops every week.  They pull out a ladder climb to roof pulling a long gas hose and fill the tank on the roof.  Only they don't really fill it.  My tank is half the size and I fill it twice a year.  What do they do, put 20 pesos in it?  It made no sense (but little does here.)

 Then the restaurant closed its doors.  I figured they were closing for the summer as many restaurants do.  Then a

"For Rent" sign went up.  I asked the taco people and he said that it probably will not open again due to a dispute in the family.   In spite of the fact that it is across the street and has one of the most beautiful patios in Vallarta, I do not eat there.   It is basically a breakfast place as it closes at 2:00 in the afternoon.  They do not serve an American breakfast and the lunch menu is very limited.  But is was not the food they kept me from going back.  The service was awful.  All the waiters are rude and slow  (an attitude they adapted from the owner).  When I heard about the dispute in the family I figured that the guy who ran the place must have treated his relatives with the same disdain he treated his customers.

Sometimes I see the little midget on the street, he also seems to say something to me.  Maybe he noticed my watching and photographing him while he was painting.  I do hope he got paid.  I also feel sorry of the rest of the help, like the poor guy with one foot turned backwards.  But life goes on in Mexico and I saw the midget painting the outside of a building on B. Badillo.  That is the most expensive street in Old Town, so I assume he is getting paid for that job.  (I hope so)

LA SELVA TREPADORA Y LAS HORMIGAS (JUNGLE VINE AND ANTS)

It was maybe just a few months after I moved to this apartment that I noticed a vine crawling up my back wall.  It was a nice green thing and once it reached the roof of my cabaña, I started training it to grow across the beam of the cabaña.  Since it was the middle of winter there was no rain.  It only rains here during the summer months.  So I dropped a hose over the wall and tried to give it some water.  That is when I noticed it was growing out of a crack in concrete three floors below.  It was futile trying to water it. After a few months the leaves turned yellow and it seemed to die back.  I figured it was over and cut it all back to the wall.  Then it started up again.  Everything grows here because of the climate and the rain fall.   Across the street is a three story tall mango tree where a split leaf philodendron has grown all the way to the top of the tree.

This is the third time that it has managed to cross the beam.  Each time there are more shoots.  In fact it has continued to grow up and has now reached the roof of the apartment next door (four floors from the ground).   I like the green jungle look and encourage it to grow along the beam.  The unruly vine you see at one end grows out of one of the palm pots and is the most common vine in Puerto Vallarta.  It has no tendrils and refused to grow where I want it to.  It is totally unmanageable, so I just let it do it's own thing.

My jungle vine is a bright green, but only has a tiny cluster flower that last a day.  You can see that it has almost taken over my door.    The down side (other than it periodically dying back) are the ants they use it as a highway from the ground below.  I hate ants and these are the big black and red ones.  We have three kinds of ants here.  We have the usual black ones (like back in The States) and a tiny almost microscopic ant that is so small unless it is on a white surface you would never see it.  I hate them all, but the big black and red ones are the scariest.  

 I have my apartment sprayed for ants about every 5 or 6 months.   He  sprays my roof top, balcony, and the walls, floors and ceiling of my apartment.  He even sprays outside every window.   It takes him three or four hours and charges 250 pesos (about $20.00).  Because he is a nice guy who speaks some English (and because he does a good job) I have recommended him to several friends who have all been very pleased with the results.  He says it is good for six months (I call at the first sign of a bug).  Any bug that finds its way to my floor will suddenly start shaking and roll over dead.  I love it.  He claims it is non-toxic to humans.  He even told me it was not necessary to wash the utensils and dishes that our exposed ( I do it anyway).

But these huge black and red ants have found a way to avoid the poison by crawling along the vine.  They do not seem to be going anywhere, but running back and forth along the vine.  Maybe they get some kind of nectar from the vine.  At any rate I still hate them.  Spraying tended to hurt the new leaves, so I started picking them off and then squashing them.  It is sort of a Mexican Jack and the Beanstalk Story.  Only to the ants, I am the giant.

AGUA EN PUERTO VALLARTA

Puerto Vallarta advertises that it is one of only two cities in all of Mexico that has safe drinking water  (I do not drink it)  There is a caveat that states it also depends on where you live and how old your building is.  No one knows the condition of all the pipes.  So as soon as I took up residency, I started ordering bottled water from Ciel (incidentally, it is owned by Coca Cola).  I made friends with Jesus (a driver for Ciel Water).  He gave me his cell number so when I call, he arrives within 20 or 30 minutes (of course I tip him).  He has delivered my water to all three apartments that I have lived in these past four years.  I time the call to coincide with emptying a bottle.  I can lift the 40 to 50 pound bottle up to the counter, but inverting it and sticking into the dispenser is just too much of an effort   Sometimes I will have Elvis do it ( I like to watch all those muscles in motion).

Everything was fine until about a year ago when someone rang my door bell.  The man had a clip board and a contract of some kind.  I could not understand a word he said, but told him I was not the owner and I was not signing anything and closed the door.  A few days later another man showed up with the same clip board.  This time I asked the guy at the fish taco stand to translate for me.  He seemed confused too, but said it had something to do with the sewer connection.  I agreed to take it to the owners lawyer to figure out. A week later, the lawyer called me and asked me to bring in a copy of my paid water bill.  No problem as I pay several months in advance so I do not have to go to the water company every other month.

The following month, my bill was twice as much.  There was an additional charge at the bottom.  I took it to the lawyer who said that the water rates had gone up.   I did not believe him and asked several friends of mine to look at the bill.  No one had ever seen the charge before.  Of course usually the landlord pays the water bill, but not in my case.  Water is only about 150 pesos every two months, so since my rent is cheap, I did not mind.  However I still wanted to know what this charge was all about.  Finally I got a Mexican friend of mine to drive me to the water company.  The nice lady behind the desk explained that the charge was for  connecting to the City sewer system (did not know they had one)  and the cost was spread out over one year.  It had never been paid before.  When I told her that I did not understand she said,  "But you signed the contract"  No!  I did not sign the contract and I am not the owner.  "Oh" she said, "You should not be paying it"  Armed with this information I went  back to the lawyer who played dumb again.  He claims not to understand or speak a word of English, but I do not believe that either.   I gave up.  They have agreed not to increase my rent and extra charge  is only about $10.00 a month

When I first moved here, I noticed that the water pressure was awful.  This is when I met Saul who was sort of the maintenance man for the building.  He sighed and shrugged and said that the previous tenant had stolen the  pressure valve and the landlady (whom I have never seen) refused to pay for a new one.  I had Saul install one.  There are two water tanks on my neighbors roof.  This is how I found out which tank held my water. You can see the hole in the wall where the pressure valve was placed.   I can only see the top of the tanks.  A few nights ago I am sitting up under my cabana when  black bird perched on the rim.  The next thing I saw was him diving into the tank and taking a bath!!  I could not believe my eyes.  My ladder was not tall enough to see into the tank but high enough that I could feel the edge and sure enough the top was gone.  We had a pretty big storm about a week before and the I guess the top blew off.

Of course the next day I called my trusted Saul (I have no idea what I would do without him).  He brought a tall ladder and confirmed that the lid was gone, but he did spot it on my neighbors roof.  He also told me that there were bugs and leaves floating in the water and he could see dirt in the bottom.  Now I do not drink it, but I do use it to bath in, wash dishes and brush my teeth.  This was not good.
He did tell me that the tank is only a reserve for when the City water is not working.  I am not sure if I believe him or not.  He said that first he had to fetch the lid off the neighbors roof, then the tank would have to be drained and the tank cleaned.  He told me to start watering all my plants and shut off the water from the street.

It started to rain,  Mind you it has not rained in a week, but the Gods decided that this afternoon was a good time to rain.  So there I am up on my deck in a rain storm watering my plants.  This must have looked very strange to anyone watching from below.  But then my Mexican neighbors think of me as the "crazy American" anyway.   Who but a crazy person would spend so much money remodeling a rented apartment??   Not to mention the forest of palm trees I have hauled in (nine so far).  With the City water turned off as well as the pressure valve the hose was little more than a drip.  It was taking hours, so Saul left promising to come back later

When the hose stopped running, the tank was not empty.  Saul had me crawl up and look at it.  The bottom had several inches of brown gunk.  Saul told me that all tank have that and it was normal.  Not for me, it was not normal.  I told him I wanted it cleaned and flushed out.  He had to scoop the water up with a plastic bowl and dump it into my bucket.  Then I went up the ladder and carried the bucket down where I could dump it into the roof drain.   This too went on for a long time,  After he had scooped all that he could he rinsed it and then I gave him a towel to further clean it.   I was able to shower and was pleased that the water came out clear.  I still ran it for sometime before getting into it.  For a while I think I will brush  my teeth with bottled water.  All the taps seem to spurt out clear clean water, so everything is back to normal (Well ! Normal for Mexico) but I still think I will not drink the water.

                                 ******************************************

NO FUMAR

One of the main reasons I moved here was because I could smoke almost anywhere.  OKAY, the main reasons were that it was warm and cheap.  Still after living in California where there is no smoking on the beach, many sidewalks and certainly nowhere inside.  There are even non smoking condos and apartment buildings.  So, being able to smoke in any bar seemed like Paradise for me.  There were a few bars and restaurants (high end mainly) that had non smoking signs, but I avoided them.

After a couple of years,  a few more restaurants and bars posted No Smoking signs.  This should have given me a view of the future.  I knew that several years before I moved here the Federal Government passed a no smoking law.  It was just ignored.  No surprise here; I have yet to discover a law here that the Mexicans don't ignore.   I asked a few bar owners and they said that since Puerto Vallarta was tourist destination, they would not enforce the law here.  I was happy.

Then one day at the restaurant where I play bridge they posted "No fumar" sign in their patio.  I had never smoked under the covered area where we played bridge for I knew the other members would fuss.  But this was a huge  patio open to the beach.  I said, "You have got to be kidding!"  Nope! they were not.  If I wanted a cigarette I would have to stand on the sidewalk.  The patio picture shows this now almost empty restaurant.

A few weeks later I stopped after bridge at Apache's for a much needed margarita.  It was the height on the season and all of the outdoor tables and chairs were taken.  Not spotting anyone I knew, I moved inside to sit at the bar where I was told that there was no smoking inside anymore.  The owner told  me that the cigarette police had been there and it was a 50,000 peso fine for smoking inside, but she said I could still smoke outside.  I re scanned the tables and spotted someone I vaguely knew.  Cigarette in hand I moved toward the table and asked if I could bring up a chair.  Someone I did not know said,  "I would rather you not smoke, I am allergic to it"  I felt like saying "Then you move inside and I will take your chair"  But I did not and lowering my head slunk away.

Another evening I was talking to Endra, the co-owner of Apache's  (and a woman not to be messed with) and she told me that they tried to stop smoking at the sidewalk tables  because there was an awning.  She made a big scene and said, " So, are you going to arrest people walking along the sidewalk with a cigarette in hand?"  She insisted that since it was an area open on three sides people should be allowed to smoke.  Later I heard that the  "cigarette czar" wanted to fine her just for being so obnoxious..  Several weeks later I was seated outside and saw Endra standing in the doorway with a cigarette in hand.  I told her she should step onto the sidewalk or the "cigarette police" would arrest her.  She took a big drag on her cigarette, turned into the bar and blew a big puff of smoke inside.. She also told me that they were working their way through the town hitting all the bars and restaurants.  So, I was quite shocked one day when passing my favorite bar "Un bar Frida" to find ash trays on the bar.  That owner told me that none of the gendarmes had stopped there, so as far as he was concerned he knew nothing about the law.

So far (over a month later) it is the only bar I know that still has smoking.  The government has hired 200 extra cigarette police to monitor all the establishments in Vallarta.  Sooner or later I knew that they would win.  So I decided to go to the electronic cigarette.  Which I understand they are also trying to ban in the United States even though no smoke or tar is emitted.  They still sell guns to crazy people who blow away schools, but an electronic cigarette is a No, No,  CNN just had a story about a teenager who was sent to prison for 30 years for selling some pot brownies.  The law makers in the U.S. are nuts. (another reason I left).  I went to the one Smoke Shop in town, but found they only had one style.  As is typical here, the owner was extremely rude and unfriendly (they are the worst businessmen in the world).  The only electronic cigarette he carried was the kind where you have to carry little bottles of tobacco liquid to refill it.  I had done some investigation and learned that these cigarettes are not only cumbersome to use, but could be dangerous (do not know why).  So I kept asking people who had them (most brought them from the U.S. or Canada)  But one guy at bridge told me to go to the wine shop at Los Mercados.

Nina is the American shop owner and is a heavy smoker.  She had done some research and found a company in Mexico City that had the good ones that come with a package of cartridges.  For some reason they cannot be shipped from the U.S.  Surely Mexico is not worried about drugs being sent into the country from the United States.  Anyway she told me to go online and pick the kit that I wanted.  The kits ranged from 900 to 2,200 pesos (not cheap at all).  The extra pack of five cartridges is another 189 pesos.  You also have to select the level of tobacco and the flavor.  Yes, they not only come in mint, but chocolate and pina colada.  I went for Absolute Tobacco.  I gave her the money, she added no extra charge and waited for her to call and tell me the package had arrived.

Five days later my package arrived.  It is a cute little case and easy to figure out. The main part is the battery which you can plug into a socket or your computer to recharge it.  Then there is a package of five cartridges you screw into the main part.   I tried it and did not really fine it that satisfying.  For a couple of weeks, I just kept it next to my computer so when I felt the need for some nicotine, I just pick it up and take a drag on it.  I do not smoke inside my apartment, so it was easier than moving to the balcony or deck.  Finally I took it to one of the nonsmoking bars.  "

Wet" started non smoking over a year ago, when  I stopped going.  It is called Wet because behind the bar is a glass shower where "performers" perform (nude I might add)   Mesmerized by the show,. it worked for a while, but eventually I moved outside (with my drink) for a real one.  Several people I know have switched over totally to the electronic cigarettes.  I do not think I will.  It does not burn my throat or irritate my nose, but maybe I will get used to it.

                                          ****************************************

CORERO EN MEXICO

When ever someone tells me they want to mail a letter or something to me in Mexico, I tell them "We don't have mail in Mexico".  That is an exaggeration, but they might as well not have it.  Even the Mexican utility companies won't use it.  They pay an employee to hand deliver the bills to each household.  They also do not bother with envelopes.  You have to know when the bill is due and search for it.  If you are lucky they will stick it under the door, where it gets wet if it is raining (rain runs under my door during heavy storms).  Or, they stick it in the door, or maybe hide it behind the meter.  If you miss it, in 10 days they could shut off your electricity or water.

UPS is really the only way to get something to me and it is also "iffy".  My first experience was when I had to have a new credit card mailed to me after it was stolen in Cancun.  That took forever and since the tracking said it was in Guadalajara the night before, I ran out for my latte in the morning.  Sure enough there was a note on my door when I got back.  I called Saul.  He told me that they only make one attempt and then return it to the U.S.  I had to go to the UPS office and pick it up.  Fortunately he knew where the office was so the following day, we hailed a cab and headed off.

UPS does not have an office in Puerto Vallarta, but uses a shipping company.  So you really have to know where to go as nothing outside indicates that UPS is inside.  It took about for ever  to find it, but I did get it. That was my only experience with UPS until recently.  One Monday morning I noticed that I had a call form a strange 800 number.  I almost deleted it.  For four years I have had collection companies calling me looking for a Maria, or an Edward.  Apparently they had this number four years ago in California.  I have Magic Jack for calls outside of Mexico and got a number local for Laguna Beach so people can call me at no charge.  Each time I speak to the collection company they promise to delete the number from their list, but the calls continue.

Anyway, this happened to be a call from the fraud department at my bank.  They notice "unusual activity" on my care and fortunately called me.  Someone in Seattle had made ten charges on my card all on Sunday night.  My bank knows I live in Mexico.  Of course they said they would credit me for all the charges, but they had to cancel my card and send me a new one.  They would not mail it to Mexico.   They said that someone in Seattle had hacked into my account.  I know no one is Seattle, never use the card for anything but ATM withdraws.  I did use it while I was in the U.S. but that was five months ago.  They said they
 would only mail it to my U.S. address of record. They said it would take a week to ten days.  I had my friend Donna check it after 10 days and the card was there.  She mailed it UPS and got a tracking number.  It cost $75.00 U.S.  for a small envelope that weighed less than half an ounce.  You still wonder why I don't have anything mailed to me?

The tracking showed it arriving eleven days later.  Then it said, that it would be delivered a day early.  With my last experience, I decided not to leave the house all day.  No latte, no gym, no shopping, I just sat and waited.  Of course it did not arrive until 6:30 at night.  The next morning I tried it at my ATM and Thank God it worked.  Without a credit or debit card I am without access to money.   No one takes a check here.
And I do not want to use a credit card for purchases so I was desperate to get the card.  You would think that for $75.00 a small envelope could get here a little faster.

 Why eleven days?  I think once it gets to Mexico, it travels by burro.

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MUERTE EN EL SECADOR (DEATH IN A DRYER)

One point I failed to make in my treatise on Summer in Vallarta, is laundry.  When you shower three times a day, you create a lot of laundry.  Besides three pair of underwear, the towels never gets dry so they get to smelling funny after a day.  So instead of doing laundry once a week, I have to do it two or three times a week.

I do not remember on this particular day how long it had been since I had last used the dryer, but it could not have been more than a few days.  Once I turned the dryer on, I knew there was a problem.  There was a loud clatter followed by a horrible smell. I do not remember if I heard anything scream (unless it was me)   I open the door and found nothing inside but wet laundry and the smell was not inside the dryer.  The smell was behind the dryer.  A cursory glace revealed nothing, but I did not want to look to hard.  There was nothing to do but finish drying the laundry, and the clatter continued.  Once done, I sniffed the laundry and did not detect any strong odor (I had added a couple more sheets of Bounce),  The underwear I put away, but decided to rewash the towels and wash cloths at a later date.

Why I did not call Saul that day, I do not know.  Then I forgot about it for a few days when again I had to do at least one load.  The smell wasn't too bad, so I threw the laundry in and turned it on.  Maggots flew out the back end with a stench that almost made me vomit.  Now, I called Saul.  He said he would be here in a few hours, but it was almost nightfall before he arrived.  Saul is very good at what he does, extremely honest and CHEAP!  But he is not fast or punctual (you can't have everything, certainly not in Mexico).  I had several small jobs besides the dryer.  He wanted to know what all of them were first.

He started with fixing two of the ceiling fans (one vibrated, one spun too slowly) repaired a lamp cord and hung a platter on the kitchen wall.  By then it was too dark to work upstairs on the deck and said he would return the following morning.  Two days later I called and he said he forgot.  This time he did arrive fairly soon along with a new assistant (he goes through a lot of them).  They pulled it away from the wall and started to take the back off.  He took apart the vent inside and sure enough there was the remains of a dead rat (along with rat turds and maggots).  I had to leave as the smell was overpowering.  Saul said he might be sick.

The assistant carefully cleaned everything inside and Saul swept everything up and took the trash out and rat out (which means dumping on the corner).  Saul then mopped the whole area.  He is very good about cleaning up after himself, but the stink remained.  I decided to pour disinfectant over the area and then hose it all down.  Later I threw the mop away.   I could still smell it.  Some odors once inhaled seem to stay in the nostrils.  Maybe little particles cling to the hairs in your nose and at my age I have a lot of hairs up there.  (Why is it that at a certain age hair stops growing on your head and instead comes out your ears and nose?)

It seemed better so I started a new laundry.  Saul recommended that I buy some rat poison.  I have no idea how he (or she) got up three stories above the ground.  It is the first rat I have seen in the four years I have been here.  I did see a tiny mouse once slip under my front door, but I stomped my foot and he ran back out to the street.   She must have crawled in the vent and started a nest in there.  I do not know if there were any baby rats inside or not.  They would have been chewed up first.   I went to Guadalajara Pharmacy, but they do not carry the package of poison pellets.  All they have are little pads of glue. I guess the idea is that the rat will cross it and get stuck.  Since I cannot read the Spanish I am not sure what you do with it afterward.  You either have a live screaming rat or a dead one.  If it happens, I will just call Saul.  I know this sounds bizarre, (my life is bizarre) but all my stories are true.  So far no trapped rats.

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VALLARTA EN VERANO

This will be my fourth summer in Puerto Vallarta.  It had been a very mild winter.  Usually I have to pull out my sweat shirts and pants.  The year before it was so cold I had to turn the oven on (with the door open).  Of course no home has any kind of heat.  This year not only did I not need my sweat suits, but never once wore a long sleeve shirt at night.  That should have made me wonder about the summer that would follow.   Everyone I know was shocked at how hot it got beginning the 1st of May.

Most of the "snow birds" leave before summer for their winter homes.  This year many of them did not make it out in time.  Friends of mine who also live half the year in Marbella Spain (an also have an apartment in London) are famous for their garden dinner parties.  During the first week of May they invited 20 people to their home for dinner in their new garden.  Last year they purchased the lot behind their mansion and installed one of the most beautiful gardens I have ever seen.  Full grown trees were brought in as well as flowering vines that climbed over eight foot walls.  That night we had our first sprinkle which just made the humidity increase.  It was so hot we were all dripping wet before the first course was served (four in help).  I felt sorriest for my hosts, but the poor ladies present suffered the most with make up running off their faces into the plates.  It was the hottest night of the year so far.  But it got hotter

It isn't really the heat that is the problem, it is the humidity.   What little rain we have had has only made it worse.  We are all praying for an early rainy season (which normally does not start until July).  Unless you have lived in a tropical climate you do not know what it is like.  You step out of a cold shower, towel off and within seconds your body is covered in sweat (not pleasant).  A friend of mine suggest I put my underwear in the freezer like Marilyn did in "Seven Year Itch".  He was probably joking, but I tried it.  I must say that it was temporarily refreshing, but I must do some planning next time.   I walked out of the bathroom and across my living room stark naked in full view of my open windows to retrieve my underwear.  Again, it is not the temperature, but the humidity which is so oppressive.   It hangs over you like a heavy shroud that saps all your energy and ambition (not that I have a lot to start with)

It was almost the end of May when we got our first good rain.  I had called a friend of mine to meet me at Bar Frida for a margarita, just to get out of my stuffy apartment (not a breeze anywhere).  Of course the conversation was mainly about how awful May had been.  As soon as I left it started to mist a little.  I peeled off my sticky clothes and laid down on my bed to finish my latest book (with the fan in my face).  I saw some lightning and heard a little thunder, but did not realize until I got up to get another beer that there was a cool breeze coming through my open window.  Immediately I went up to my deck to sit under my cabana and watch the rain pour down all around me.  Of course my street was ankle deep in water by then.  Most of it drains toward the river which is only two blocks away from me.  No rain had been predicted but why would one think that a Mexican weatherman should be more correct than ones in The States.

We had a few days respite from the heat and humidity then, the sun came back so did the humidity.  I do not know why rain would reduce the humidity.  Maybe the rain removes all the moisture from the atmosphere.  I am not a scientist (Obviously!).  Then the first week of June we had some rain (no rivers in the street) but enough to cool things down for a while.  Each night I watch dark clouds roll in a few hours before sunset that promise more rain, but they just roll right on by leaving a clear star lit sky.  Finally we got a good rain.  I was with friends of mine at Apache's when it started.  I watched the stairs at the end of the street turn into a waterfall and the street became a raging river.  I wanted to go home and get my camera but my friends who drove me there were not willing to leave.  The cobblestone streets in sandals are difficult in dry weather.  Attempting them under six inches of fast running water was not an option.  So I just ordered another drink.  It ended in about an hour and they drove me home.

The following day was warm, but tolerable.  That night we had a little rain, at least enough to cool it off so I did not need to turn on the air.  And so Summer in Vallarta will continue for another four months.  We suffer through the heat and humidity and pray for more rain.  The rain not only relieves us from the heat but does much more.  The mountains around me are already a verdant green.  The black dust which covers everything in the winter is subdued.  Most of all I love to sit and watch the rain pour around me little cabana while I have my drink and cigarettes and watch the incredible show of lightning and thunder.  Sometimes the lightning is so frequent it looks like the town is being hit by strop lights.  There is a down side to the rain.  It also brings on another batch of mosquitoes.  I have tried electric plug in, smoke bombs, creams, sprays, but they tiny bugs just love to suck my blood.  It also brought out a hoard of termites.  They circle the lights all night, then in the morning you find little wings littering the floor (which means their bodies have crawled off and are gnawing on my wood),

Why, you might ask do I endue such discomfort.  Well, I can tell you in just three little words (no make that four)  I HATE COLD MORE !

                                                  **************************************

MORE ABOUT COCKS

Don't get too excited here, we are still talking about chickens.  A few months ago, my friend Elvis asked me to check again with Red Farms in Alabama about shipping a trio (one cock, two hens) to Mexico.  Not really liking the idea of "fighting cocks" I made the call.  The nice lady informed that they did ship to Mexico and gave me a price for the shipping, but told me that it would be up to me (somebody else, really) to clear them at customs.  They insist that the the cocks are to be sent for breeding purposes only (yeah, yeah).   I told Elvis that he should check with customs to see if there are restrictions and if there was any duty to pay.

It was less than a month later when he told me that he had in fact bought one cock and four hens.  It is still a little unclear to me with the language difficulties, but I think that he found someone in Texas to smuggle  them across the border (which would make them wet back chickens, I guess) and then shipped them to Vallarta.
He had a friend who already had a cock farm who went in with him to purchase the chickens.  They cost $1,500.00 if you can believe.  Elvis set up four cages for his new chickens, one for each hen.  The rooster visits each hen every other day (poor thing does not have his own cage).

Elvis was to feed the chickens in the mornings (his friend who has a government job would feed them in the evening) and pick up any eggs and take them to an incubator.  I am not sure where this is, but I guess it is near.  Within a few weeks the little chicks started to hatch.  Then they needed another coop for the chicks.  He constantly complains about the cost of feed.  I do not know why.  Where did the expression "chicken feed" come from;  I thought it would be cheap.  He told me that only three out of ten chicks would be males (thus potential fighting cocks).  So far out out 50  chicks he has maybe 15 to 20 males.  (no I do not know how they tell).  His friend (partner in the endeavor) wants to cut the heads off all the hens.  Elvis excepts this as a reality but also wants nothing to do with it, nor would he be able to watch.  He told me that the chickens know him and as soon as they hear his motorcycle, they all get excited (Once they find out what he intends to do with him, they won't be so happy to see him),

He says he isn't really going to use them cocks for fighting himself, but the idea is to sell them.  Unfortunately the cocks have to be a year and a half to two years old before they are ready.  He still thinks he will make a lot of money doing this.  I told him that although I wanted to see the chickens, I would never want to be near a real cock fight.  He then told me that they had planned on having a cock fight on my roof top deck.  After I screamed, he said "Just kidding".  So when he invited me to visit to see his chicks, I jumped at the chance (I still abhor the, but was curious).

Wouldn't you know it rained that day.  The rain started a few weeks earlier, but only at night.  When I left and saw the cloud bank, I wasn't really concerned.  Before I could get on the first bus, the rain started.  I had to change buses at Liverpool.  Although I have a good umbrella at home, I did not have it with me, so I decided to try to buy a cheap one.  Liverpool is not a town but a department store (the largest and most expensive in Vallarta).  The Galleria does not open until 11:00 (They have weird hours here, like every thing else in Mexico).  By the time I got back to the bus stop, I was soaked.  Fortunately by the time I arrived in Bucerias, the rain was down to a drizzle.  I was amazed at the huge yard with dozens of cocks and hens.  His friend does use his for fighting.  They are huge cages they dwarf the four small ones that Elvis has.  He did say that as the chicks grown, he will have to build some big cages along the opposite wall.

His cock is so tame he can cuddle it.  He said he was a lover, not a fighter and would never be put out to fight.  I was also surprised to learn that they train the cocks to fight by putting on blunt rubber knobs on their spurs (sort of like boxing gloves).  I told him that I did not want to watch them training either.  Raising fighting cocks is not his only enterprise.  Elvis has had two jobs (one day, one night) almost the entire three years I have known him.  Currently he is working on opening his own gym.  He build the building next to the house he built a few years ago.  They gym is already huge, but in time he plans to add a second floor for aerobics
and other related exercises

.

THE REMODEL OF PARROQUIA SANTA CRUZ

Maybe you have missed me.  Sorry, I told you that I am basically lazy and I am running out of new topics.  Which is why I have decided to revisit some of my previous topic.   It was just one year ago that I  wrote about the church across from me and referred to it as "the ugliest church in Mexico".  Maybe somebody hear me, for several months ago, the remodel began.

I was told that they have a new priest from Mexico City.  Maybe he is the one who got it started.  I am also told the the priest (and this church)  are the most conservative in Puerto Vallarta.  This may account for all the pregnant teen age girls in town (NO condoms allowed !)  Anyway, it started with the repainting of the exterior  of the church.  I could not believe how artistic it looked or how much a paint job improved the looks.  Who ever designed it knew what they were doing for the added borders of white paint emphasize the architectural details.  I now love the tower which rises above the wall on my roof top terrace (please note my new palm tree)..  I still cannot believe the way the painters raised and lower themselves five stories into the air with just a hand cranked pulley.  Before the painting was finished, they added a stained glass window the the front.  The first morning when I went out to my balcony for coffee and noticed a huge hole in the wall, I thought the cannon must have gone off and blew a hole through the front wall.  Then I noticed a man on scaffolding chiseling away on the hole from the inside. Bits of concrete and lots of dust fell to the side walk below and any unsuspecting passers by.   Once the hole was big enough a stone circle was added.  I watched as they put this is place.  It is put up with what looked like willhold glue.  The bottom piece was temporarily supported by a wood stick, then all the other pieces were added on top and the wood stick was taken away.  No bolts, no screws, nothing  but glue.  I will never walk under it.  The sign when you enter Mexico says "Bienvienitos"  which I translate to "Enter at your own risk".

After the painting was done they started ripping out the inside (why after it was freshly painted ? Well because it is Mexico.  There were several niches in the wall where they displayed their plaster saints.  They ripped through the wall and created tiny little rooms off the main hall.   Who know why?  In order to do this they apparently needed lots of concrete.  For months concrete was mixed in the street and hauled inside.  Yes, they just dump the cement, and sand in the street, add water and mix right on top of the cobble stones.  Once they are satisfied with mixture, it is scooped up into a wheel barrel and taken inside.  Why not just mix it in the wheel barrel (thus sparing the mess in the street)?  Well, because it is ......!  At first I could not tell why they added two more columns in the front.  I thought maybe they added them for the extra weight of the stone edged window.  But when they were finished, banners were hung between the posts.  A much better idea than posting them on the sides of the building.

Semana Santa just ended a week ago and already, they are beginning the celebration for Santa Cruz.  During Semana Santa, thousands of Mexican Nationals descend upon Vallarta in pick up trucks (carrying table chairs and coolers in the truck bed along with a dozen Mexicans.  Some will just sleep in the trucks.  Some will rent a cheap room and put a dozen people in it.  Mostly they go to beach and then get very drunk.  I took a photo of the beach one day and it was not even the week end.  Mexicans with their colorful umbrellas as far as the eye could see.  I really do not mind all the extra traffic, or people at the beach, it is the loud music blasting out of the cars all day and night that drives me crazy.

The festival of Santa Cruz goes on for a week before and several days after May 3rd.  At first I thought that it must be the birth or death of a saint.  No, it is not a saint at all, but means "Holy Cross"  How they came up with the date of May 3rd, no one seems to know.  The remodel must have been planned to conform with this date. Once again my street is closed to traffic (the good news) but along with the many booths and kiddy rides comes the largest speakers I have ever seen  They blast away from dusk to about midnight.  There is no way I can sleep before.   I do love watching the little kids on all the rides below.  At first a large carousel was placed below my bedroom.  Then it was moved aside and one of those rides with little cars that go round and round.  What I did not know is that it comes with an ear piercing alarm.  It sounds like a car alarm on steroids.  The little kids ridding probably have no idea what it is, but the young kid who runs the ride seems to love it.  Of course bells ring all week, but it is the cannons that you would not believe.  I have gotten used to the bells, but every time the cannon goes off I jump (sometimes spilling my drink).

I invited my friend Filipe and his kid and wife (well really just the mother of his child) for a few drinks before letting little Ian loose on the rides.  Last year he was just eighteen months old  and most of the rides scared him.  One scares me.  People are strapped into a circle of seats and then turned upside down.  There are no safety checks here so you won't catch me hanging upside down.  To my surprise, he still would not get on any of the rides.  All he wanted to do was to play a little marble gambling game.  He had a good time anyway.

There are sermons all week long and every night the loud speakers blast, bells ring, cannons go off,  and the rides run until  midnight.  On the second block are all the stands selling food and trinkets.  But the culmination comes on May 3rd (Santa Cruz Day)  That is when the bonfire like fireworks stand is installed in the cross street.  At the start of any event at the church a bunch of Indians in colorful feathers will dance.  Of course this means that a two block square is completely blocked to traffic.  No one seems to mind.  Everyone crowds around this tower of fire as fireworks scatter burning bits into the crowd.  Last year it set off a fire on the dry weeds growing on the restaurant across the street.  This year I watched them assemble the structure in the street.  It turned out to be at least one story higher than before and was much more spectacular.  For the finale, the top blew off into the sky and fireworks displays fell back onto us for several minutes.  It did not start any fires, for the restaurant across the street had carefully removed all the dead leaves from their roof.  I had my friends, Richard and Hector over again and this time served dinner.  After dinner we walked the three blocks of rides, and booths.  Unfortunately it did not end that night.  No !  the racket (minus the cannon blasts) is still going on.  Last year it was one week, now they are talking about keeping it open until Mother's Day.  It is impossible to sleep until after midnight.

It may sound like a living Hell to you, but you should see the people.  When I go down stairs and mingle among them, I am impressed by the happy, laughing faces (knowing that most of them live with several generations in a few squalid rooms)  They have barely enough to buy tortillas and beans to feed their families, but here they are enjoying (and drinking) during carnival.  Whole families are here to watch their kids take turns on the stupid little carnival rides set up below me.  They will spend their precious few pesos to let their kids have fun.  The children are so beautiful here with their large dark eyes (especially when they are looking at the carnival)

.  You just have to love these happy crazy people.


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