A COCKTAIL PARTY IN PUERTO VALLARTA

Nothing in Mexico is easy, this includes giving a cocktail party.  First I have several rules about what makes a good party (many have told me that mine are "the best").  First you should have twice as many guests as you have chairs.  This forces at least half the guests to mingle and talk to more people (otherwise some will sit in one chair all night and only speak to the person next to them).  In Mexico this causes a problem for about one third of the people invited will not show up. They never call, and usually never even mention it (as if the invitation never occurred).  We would consider this quite rude in the United States but in Mexico, it is of no importance.  The guest list itself may be the most important component.  You need a diverse group, yet one that is still compatible.  If you only invite a bunch of boring people, you will have a boring party.

Two, I try to make a point of always greeting every person as they walk in the door.  I make sure they have the drink of their choice and then try to steer then to someone they might want to talk to before moving away.  I always have a bartender and a helper, so I am free to move about and make sure everyone feels welcome and are having a good time.  Music is also important.  I like to start with something light and lively, then move to louder heavier stuff later.  One night at Apache's a saxophonist showed up.  He was fantastic.  He played blues and a lot of 30's and 40's songs.  I tried to speak to him to tell him I wanted him for a party.  He gave me a card.  Since he spoke no English I had a Mexican friend call him.  Both numbers were no good!  How Mexican !  But then someone noticed there was a face book symbol on the card.  The first two attempt brought no response.  I told the waiters and owner of Apache's to watch out for him and get a number.  The owner also loved his music and said she was sure he was quite poor and probably has no computer and maybe not even a phone.  She said she always tips him when he plays at her bar.  Then I spotted him again and my Mexican friend was there, so I had him explain to him what I wanted.  He agreed, but did not know what to charge.  The next day, my friend got a call from him and he wanted 6,000 pesos for four hours.  That is more than I pay for rent and I am sure more than he makes in a month wandering around bars and restaurants.  So no live music.

Then I got an email from a friend in the States who said he would love to attend my party.  He must have read it in my blog as we had not communicated for a year.  I told him I would be thrilled and he could stay with me and I would pick him up at the airport.  Then I got an email that his plane was to arrive at 4:00 the day of my party.  I told him that no way could I pick him up just hours before my party and perhaps he should check into the hotel he mentioned for the first few days.  He cancelled his trip.  I did invite more people from my bridge club.  This is tricky for I cannot invite everyone (and there are people there that I really do not like).  I tell them all to keep it quiet, but last year news leaked out so I was forced to invite more this year.   I also invited my Spanish tutor and told him that there would be a half dozen of his other students there.  He studied the invitation for a while and then said,  "But, will you be there?"   This has led to my questioning his comprehension of the English language.

I always try to make sure that I have plenty of booze.  Last year I ran out of gin and had to send my helper out to buy a new bottle (GIN !  who drinks gin?  It must be the Canadians),  I set out all the cheap booze and keep the good stuff underneath the counter.  The bartender is to only pour out the good stuff to people who ask, or if they are drinking it straight.  There is no need to put good vodka in a glass with coke.   I never make it a dinner, but have plenty of finger food so people don't get too drunk.  My coffee shop makes a great thin pizza that I have my helper pass around.  Then I bring out the Mexican food.  My favorite Mexican restaurant makes a huge platter of great tasting food for 250 pesos (can you believe that $20.00 will serve 30 people?)  Then I have nuts, dip, cheese and meat.  Lots of good food for nibbling.

Usually summer ends in mid October.  Last year it did not cool down until after the first week in November, so I scheduled my party for the second week of November.  But the heat and humidity continued and I worried about having so many people in my tiny apartment if it was still in the 90's. Then one day before my party it cooled down, the  night was lovely.  The day of my party was overcast but it did not look or feel like rain, so I was not that concerned.  Then just before the party was to begin, it started to sprinkle.  I quickly pulled the chairs I had carried up from the balcony under the cover of my cabana.  My music man arrived early, but had problems getting my internet feed up to the deck.  As I was still fiddling with that when others arrived.  Then the rain really started to  come down.  How could it rain on my parade??  Some people braved it upstairs anyway and sat under the cabana.  Had all 55 people I invited shown up. it would have been very crowded.  But at least a dozen or more failed to show.  Still there were enough people to keep me hopping all night. The one shot I took of the living room was early and after that I just forgot about photos.  (The guy with the muscles behind the bar is NOT me).  That is Filipe my favorite bartender and good friend.  The platter of Mexican food was only one of three.  There was plenty of food.

It never rains this late in the year (well not until I planned my party for November). Sure enough the following night was a beautiful clear, starlit night.  We even had a full moon above.  Why could not the storm have waited one more night?  But I have lived long enough to realize that not everything in life turns out exactly as you had hoped it would.

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NO LUZ !

Mexico can be a strange and trying place to live.  The Bible speaks of the patience of Job. I would bet be never lived in Mexico.  One Saturday morning I staggered to my coffee pot and pushed the red button.  By the time I had finished my morning banana the coffee was ready and I headed for the balcony. It was a beautiful clear sunny morning (but they all are here),   As I sat smoking and drinking my coffee I noticed our resident squirrel crossing the street on my electric wires, balancing with a swish of his tail.  I would later reflect back on this and wonder if it was an omen.

With my second cup of coffee I headed for my computer.  No internet (nothing too unusual here) so I turned on the TV.  NOTHING !  As I was uttering another curse at Telecable I noticed that there was also no power (I had not even noticed my second cup was not as hot as the first).  Sure enough the coffee pot was almost cool.  At first I thought I would stick it in the microwave, then at second thought that did not seem like a great idea.  Power goes on and off here periodically usually with no know reason.  I decided to check out the neighborhood.  As far as I could determine I was the only one without electricity.  I called my trusty Saul.  He said he would be over in 20 minutes (that of course is Mexican time).  Almost two hours later he arrived with his bucket of tools.  I just wanted him to call the electric company, but not he had to find out what was wrong so he took my meter apart.  After a few probes, he said, "No luz"   Well, yes that is exactly why I called him and now please call the electric company, while handing him my cell phone.  He said that "No" we had to use a land line (he did not explain why).

We went around the corner to his office.  Of course the wait is forever to get a live person.  In the meanwhile he explained that there was only one office to handle calls and it was in Mexico City and since it handed the entire country, it always took a long time.  Once he got a real person to speak to I handed him my previous electric bill, with the receipt stapled to it (not more than a week old)  After much communication I could not understand, and many "holds" and pauses, he hung up and explained that Aqucate 271 owed 2,535 pesos so they cut the wire.  But I am Aguacate 265 and I paid mine I screamed.  He just laughed and said maybe because all the electric meters were under the landlords name, they just shut them all off.  I went back around the corner and found that 271 was the fish taco stand.  After confronting them, they admitted that they did indeed owe money, but had paid half and thought that was enough (Obviously Not!)  But why do they still have electricity and I do not?  Well this caused them all to laugh (everything in Mexico is a joke to them)  I was not smiling.  They said they would pay it but because it was a Saturday, probably nothing could be done until Monday.  I could not live without electricity for three days.

I headed to the Sporting Goods Store owned by the Rizo family and where I pay my rent.  I wanted to talk to the lawyer, but he was not there.  Fortunately one guy spoke enough English to understand my problem and took my paid bill and went to the phone.  I thought he was calling the lawyer, but no he was calling the electric company.  He went through the same interminable wait and after hanging up said that it was a mistake and they would take care of it on Monday.  WHAT?

Just to further complicate my day (you notice I love to do that to myself), I had ordered a fumigation of my apartment.  I do not have cockroaches, rats or fleas, but I did have ants.  I had tolerated the tiny ones, but once the big red ones moved in I knew I had to do something.  The kid had been there the day before to give me a price. He said 350 pesos, I said 250 pesos and he said, "Okay" (that is just the way business is done here).  He was scheduled at 11:00 but I knew he would never show up on time, but just in case I had  told the fish taco guys to watch out for him and ask him to wait.  Sure enough he was there waiting for me.  I tried to explain the "No luz" but he said it did not matter as he drug up a huge tank of liquid.  He explained that he would move the furniture, but later put it back and clean the floors.  Once he started, I knew I had to get out of there.  He said it would take about one hour so I decided to go for breakfast.  I was starving by then.  I have a gas stove, but with electric starters and if the electric stater does not work, as a safety factor, the gas does not come on. (One of the few "safety factors" I know of in Mexico)

When I returned he was still spraying down the walls.  He was wearing a gas mask, so to me the smell was unbearable.  I paid him the 250 pesos (about $20.00) and told him to lock up when he left as I was going to the beach.  I also told him to leave all windows open.  As I was exiting my apartment, one of the fish taco guys stopped me and introduced me to a business looking woman.  She was an executive of the electric company and one of them happened to know she lived around the corner.  She said she would do what she could and asked for my telephone number.  I gladly gave her my card and thanked her.  Sure enough about 3 hours later my phone rang.  They were on the way.   The beach I go to is 14 blocks away, but I am too cheap to take a cab even in an emergency, but I did get there quickly.  They were waiting outside as if they needed to get inside.  Why I do not know for the problem was at the pole across the street.  Finally one guy crawled up into that maze of wires (I hate to admit it but it is easy to see how one might clip the wrong line).
It took quite a while for him to correct the matter (he is the one in the hard hat).  Voila! I had electricity again.  For another explained thing, they never did cut off the electricity at the Fish Taco place.   As soon as things calmed down (and I did too with a beer) I sat down at my computer to write this posting.  I felt it was just too good to pass up.  What I did not know was that the saga was not over.

No internet!  It was now almost 5:00 Saturday, I knew the the Telecable office would not answer, so I called the guy from Telecable who does moonlight work for my friend Ed.  He had failed to show the last time, but I was desperate (maybe I did not tip him enough the first time).  He said he was now home, but he would try to get someone.  Sunday was a loss, so Monday I called him again.  I think he said "one hour" but I had heard that before so I now called Telecable.  It does have a "press dos" for English, unfortunately it is rarely English that I can understand.  Some how I got through to her but she said that today was not possible, but maybe Tuesday morning.  Not trusting that, I called again on Tuesday.  She told me it would be Wednesday at the earliest.  I explained to her that this was my second call and after another ten minutes on hold, she said the technician would be there by 3:00.  I was afraid to leave the apartment so all the things I needed to do for my party would have to wait another day.  By 4:00 I called again and she said the technician was on his way (FROM WHERE?  Mexico City?)

   By now I had used all the minutes on my phone, but could not leave to buy more credit. Maybe that is why Saul wanted to use a land line.   Finally just before 5:00 he arrived.  I told him I was sure it was the modem that must have been fried by the power surge (although I have everything plugged into a large power surge box).  The lights on it kept going on and off.  He did several things on my computer then called his company and the next thing I knew he was climbing up the pole across the street; (he is the one in the white baseball cap).  He seems that the electric people somehow screwed up my internet line while fooling with their line.  I just prayed that when he came back down the pole that I would still have electricity.  But now I have both "luz" and internet, so I am able to write this.  And it only took four days !

I always try to think of the bright side.  It could have been worse, it could have been the day of my party.   I do think that living in Mexico may be a preventive for Alzheimer's disease.  Your wits are constantly challenged here.  Besides, where else could I get this kind of fodder for my blog?


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EL DIA DE LOS MUERTOS

The Day of the Dead in Mexico is really more than one day.  Officially it is November 1st and 2nd.  But it is really celebrated for almost a week, beginning with creating altars in their homes, churches and even the City Hall. There were about a dozen or more altars erected by each of the schools in town.   Of course our own Halloween is thrown in there and the kids do go "trick or treating" on October 31st.  Maybe in more exclusive areas they might go door to door, but here the kids will  haunt the restaurants and bars along the Malecon begging for candy by saying "Halloween".

Some are in costumes, some just want free candy, but they are all cute.  Nancy and I went to The Cheeky Monkey and along the Malecon to pass out candy.  We had dinner on the third floor and wound up tossing most of it to the crowds below. My camera is not good at night so there are no shots from the balcony, but the crowd scene was just below our balcony  There were thousand of people.  I have never seen so many before, they even had some floats and the pirate ship sailed down to set off fireworks.  At the main square there was a brass band in the gazebo with couples dancing around it.

The origin of the festival began as a pagan ritual to honor and remember the dead practiced by the Mayans and Aztecs. Then it ran for a the whole month of August also celebrating the end of the harvest.  The Spanish priests hated anything pagan, but cleverly changed the date to coincide with the Catholic All Souls and All Saints Days.  All cultures seem to have some form of it.  In Japan it is called Obon where they also do altars in the homes and then float candle lit lanterns down the rivers.  Of course skeletons and skulls here are most popular.  Today they make skulls out of sugar and decorated with icing, usually with the name of a deceased relative on it and then they eat it !  In the time of the Aztecs they used real skulls (I don't know if they tried to eat those or not).

Mexicans are obsessed with death, skulls and skeletons probably going back to their early pagan beliefs.  I once went to the Mexican Museum of Art in Long Beach and was struck with the fact that about half the paintings featured death, destruction and lots of skulls.  The most prominent figure for El Dia De Los Muertos is La Catrina.  She is a very elegantly dressed female skeleton with a large plumed hat.  She was supposed to have been originally created by a 19th century cartoonist who was trying to lambaste the very rich of Mexico.  You will see her everywhere and always with the large hat.

The official flower for the holiday (and it is a real Holiday, possibly the most celebrated in Mexico) is the marigold.  The orange color is supposed to attract the souls of the dead. You will find small potted marigolds all over town. I do not know if it is by design or not, but all the plants seem to die within a day or two.  No display or altar is complete without the half dead flowers.

It is not a day of mourning at all, but a celebration with lots of eating and drinking (everything in Mexico is a party).  It is to remember the dead by telling jokes about their lives.  The first day is for infants and children, called the Day of Angels.  The second day is when the souls of the adults are to appear.  Tradition says that if the living do not honor the dead, then they will come back to haunt them and wreck havoc with their lives.  Besides the sugar skulls, they make and eat a sugar and egg bread called Bread of the Dead.  Everyone thinks that corn is the staple of Mexico, but having lived here for three years I think it is sugar and salt.

Great care is taken of the cemeteries during this time.  All of them are carefully trimmed and cleaned, many graves are freshly painted, and the marigolds are everywhere.  I had to see it, but no one was sure how to get there.  My coffee lady told me the green Versaille bus and I followed her advice.  No problem I told the driver I wanted to go to El Panteon (which really means vault) and he indicated where I should get off.  As I walked up the street I could not believe the carnival atmosphere (not what you would associate with dead bodies).  There were at least one hundred vendors and stalls set up, selling food, drinks, flowers and trinkets (I guess for the dead).  Sure enough the cemetery looked wonderful with all the decorations and flowers.  You can tell some belonged to very rich families.  I am also told that it is full and will not take any more bodies. In Paris at the Pere La Chaise, they bury six to seven bodies on top of each other all in same small crypt.  Every culture has a few weird things about it.  Mexico is no exception.  If you are thinking about a trip to Mexico, I would highly recommend the end of October.

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